What Does Someone Do

[Lonely_Sky]

When your once happy and joyful life takes a turn for the worst. Suddenly you hit ground zero with everything. You loser all the friends whom you thought to be your best-friends that would stand by your side to the end. Your family is off and on being against you because they have mental illnesses and can't control how they feel a lot of times which makes clashing and arguments and everyday thing.

You sit back and watch your younger sister (In my case younger sister) having a better life than you did at her age. You want to be happy for her but at the same time you are jealous cause you had to live through the worst of it and she actually has a chance unlike you did.

Now I look around and I have nothing and no one. I don't understand why my life has to be like this. I've always been the nicest person you could meet. I'd give the shirt off  my back for a person who had less than I did and needed it regardless if I needed it just the same or not. Yet here I stand wanting life to be over with and it hasn't even began yet. I'm only 20 years old, turning 21 this month.

Why has my will to live left me? If this is what life has to offer I don't want any part of it. I know its a sad thing to say. Though as lame as it sounds the internet has kept me alive on several occasions because of people willing to listen and show me there are people that do understand and show consideration for others. Right now I'm at the point of a break down again. So please help me understand.

[birdie0907]

whodunnit is right. Also, if you compare lives for negative reasons like increasing your envy, why stop at your family? Perhaps there is someone living in a castle somewhere who has a better deal than you?

On the other hand, you can compare lives for a positive reason by being grateful that you are better off than the billion or so people in the world that don't have enough food. Getting over a minor depression sometimes just involves a change of attitude, but if you are seriously depressed, you need to seek professional help as whodunit says.

[whodunnit]

Hi,

I notice a logic clash with your first and last statements. You initially say everything suddenly went bad but at the end you say you are close to breakdown AGAIN.

Which is it? A long term problem that you partially recover from and relapse or a one off as your first line says?

These are really questions for you to answer for yourself as it seems you are not seeing it properly. Whatever you do the answer is to see a doc, get a diagnosis, seek treatment and stick with that treatment. When you feel better, don't just drop the treatment, keep it going and test your strength, no cold turkey etc.

I'd also say to you that comparing lives is really not a way to measure anything except envy. Your sister may appear to be having the best time but is she really? Some of us are good actors you know. I say never allow yourself to wish to be in someone else's shoes as you don't know what is in them.

[jojo24]

I, too, have been where you are, Lonely Sky, and I'm still going through it.  The thing that you have to remember is that there is always someone out there who has it worse than you do.  I know it's hard.  Even though you are sweet, and would give the shirt off your back for someone, sometimes you have to keep your shirt for yourself.  Being selfish isn't always a bad thing.  You have to focus on your own needs before you can help others.  I've suffered from depression all of my life and have contemplated just ending it, as I saw no point to going on.  But that wouldn't solve anything and then I have to think about the people I would be hurting.  Your life is worth living.  You just have to take it day by day.  As difficult as it is to get out of bed daily, it will pay off.  You are only 20 years old, so you probably have another 60 or so years to make life what you want it.  Please don't give up on yourself.  Life is a struggle for all of us and it may seem easier to give up, but you have to get everything you can out of life so you can look back when you're old and say "I did that, and I made it through."  You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Jojo

[JeanCh]

I have so been where you are right now but just take a deep breath and see that you need to seek out someone to talk to and get yourself on some medication.....my family put the D in disfunctional so that i understand but you are too young to be feeling this way, you have so much life ahead of you.....there are meds that will help you get past this don't deprive yourself the right to enjoy your life when there is something that can help you.  I will keep you in my prayers.

[deebelle3]

Right now you are in a bad spot. It won't last forever though. I know right now it seems like it will go on and on. I have been there and didn't know if I could make it one more day. I sometimes didn't know how I would make it till lunch, let alone the day, I am glad I had the courage to hang in there although I wanted to run my car off the road a million times!
Things may not get better for a while. This may last but eventually you will turn the corner and start smiling and laughing to some joke a friend told you.

I always liked the quote "Don't give up before the miracle happens!".........I am glad I stuck it out.

Hang in there!!!!
Dee

[BillTheCat]

I know things are tough and every day can be a struggle.  I understand the fear, anxiety, and frustration that in the past you didn't even think was you are going through was possible and when you look at others think they have a better life.  But the truth is your life is worth living.  There are so many wonderful things out there, you just have to fight for them.  Some people have it easier, and some, have it much, much harder.

Keep your chin up, see your doctor and fight on.