I've had anxiety issues in the past, so I am quite familiar with "mental illness", and wha it can do to you. There have been times when my anxiety gets so bad I feel like I can't function, and I avoid doing everything, and even avoid people on purpose. During these times, I may not feel "good", not sick but sluggish and blah, yet exercise, yoga really seem to help, as well as CBT, and i've had my anxiety under control for a long time now.
I'm a happy, optomistic, funny person. I love life, I love keeping busy, seeing my friends and family as often as possible, doing activities, I enjoy my job (I work in philanthropy, no stress, very nice coworkers), I have no reason to unhappy. Except for my health.
Last year I was diagnosed with endometriosis and told I needed to have surgery to remove an ovarian cyst, Obvisouly this was devestating news, not to mention my anxiety issues have often been about "control", so being knocked out for a surgery with an unpredictable outcome (will I lose my ovary or not? would I end up with huge scars or not?) was pretty much the scariest thing in the world. But then, I suddenly came dowm with a viral gastritis. I spent three days in the hospital, but it never went away. I never had so much as a stomach ache in my life, now I felt pain and bloating verytime I ate, I had acid reflux, I couldn't have alcohol, and it started to tire me out, as if the virus wasn't going away. After months of tests it was concluded I had mild chronic gastritis and frutose intolerance as a result of post-infectious IBS.
Before my surgery (in July) I started getting tired more easily. I had little energy and difficulty staying awake all day. A blood test showed my iron and ferrtin levels were low. I had the surgery and was told I'd be back at work atfer two weeks. After the durgery, I felt so relieved and proud of myself for having gotten over my greatest fear, and was so excited to heal and get back to my life. But as time past, I just kept getting more and more tired. I couldn't return to work, I was in bed fr like 20 hours a day. I'd run out of breath just going up a flight of stairs. I would fall from weaness sometimes. I started taking iron pills which were suppose to give me back my energy. It's been two months with no improvements.
So what's my doctor's diagnosis? Depression.
I just can't agree with that. I admit, if someone who had a history of anxiety and suddenly complained of being "tired all the time" without any medcal reason, I too would assume depression. But I just don't believe that;s what's going on here. To me, people are depressed andare tired because they lost interest in things. this is not my case, I have been surprisingly positive and optimitic about "tomorrow I'll have more energy", but it never happens. I am dying to get back to work, be productive agan, excerise, go outdoors, walk my dogs, etc. but I physically cannot keep up. If I have a good day when my stomach doesn't hurt too badly and I have some energy to do something, I spend the next couple of days in bed recovering. It makes no sense!!!
I've been doing relaxation yoga, acupunture, osteopathy, massage therapy, aromatherapy, meditation, everything that I think of to "heal", but there has been improvmnt. When I am feeling anxious, these things aways make me feel better. I don't feel anxious.
The feeling to me is really similar to when you have a bad cold and as much as you want to do something, your body just gives up and tells you to go to bed and rest. This does not feel at ALL like depression.
Can my doctor be right? Can I be happy but depressed and not know it? Or are they missing something medically?