MATT...HAVE YOU READ ANY OF OUR SEVERAL REPLIES TO YOU????
You're just repeating the same things. MANY of us have proven with counter-arguments that your thinking is flawed.
You have obsessive thought processes, and you need to get help, from a professional, or something. If you're never willing to BUDGE and TRY to consider that you're way of thinking is WRONG, you'll never get better.
Killing yourself isn't going to accomplish any of the things you think it is....you'll just be dead and gone, that's really the end of it. NO one is going to say..."Ahhhhhh, he HAD the answers...we should all just kill ourselves since we're going to die anyway!"
Matt...you're hopelessly "stuck" in your mind. YOU are the only thing standing in your way of freedom from your depression, anhedonia, and anything else you want to decide you have.
You're stubborn to the point where you seldom even REPLY and enter into a discussion with us about this same topic. Why is that? Because you feel if you don't reply, that makes YOU "right"? Do you not even READ the replies? Do you think we're all just clueless maybe?
Now there are two forms of strength in life: 1.) Deciding to live on in life anyway and never give up as well as for the sake of other people, or 2.) Giving yourself a sense of self-empowerment through death and ending your life.
Both forms of strength are just as good and I have found my own strength in life (which would be #2). You also have to consider the mindset I am having in deciding to end my life before you just jump to the conclusion that it is something cowardly (providing that anyone here would think so). I would not be giving up because life is too much (which might be considered something cowardly, but you have no right to tell these people that they are weak and cowardly. If you would know what it is like to live with the worst possible suffering, then I bet you wouldn't say that).
As I just stated, I would not be cowardly and giving up because life is too much. Rather, I would have a powerful totalitarian dictator personality in wanting to end all things inferior in my life (just like how Hitler wanted to end all of the Jews that he perceived as inferior. Except, that I am not like Hitler in the sense that I value other human beings, but I am Hitler in the sense that I wish to "kill" inferior problems in my life). Therefore, to end my inferior problems in life if they are something major, then I would obviously choose to end my life.
This is a very different situation than I am used to dealing with but I will say this:
The only reason I would say that you could kill yourself is if you think you have the ability to kill or negatively affect the world as you are part of this world and in the over all scheme of things this world does not want you to go away. It is not me that doesn't want you to go away although I really wish you could stay. You have said that you value other human beings and that means you are not a bad person and taking your life although it is empowering takes away the chance for your soul to learn. You must learn how to live this life with what you have if you wish to stay. I don't know what it is like to feel and I can't imagine it. What I do know is that those of us on this Earth who have mood problems (like me) also have a way of looking at the world differently and sometimes that is a gift. I would like to know how you see this world and some of your experiences with this.
I personally have found your comments really upsetting.
You are welcome to come on here for support and voice how you are feeling. However, comments like this can hurt people and it goes against what we are doing here. Please open up and refrain from posts like this. They will be deleted if you continue.
"As I just stated, I would not be cowardly and giving up because life is too much. Rather, I would have a powerful totalitarian dictator personality in wanting to end all things inferior in my life (just like how Hitler wanted to end all of the Jews that he perceived as inferior. Except, that I am not like Hitler in the sense that I value other human beings, but I am Hitler in the sense that I wish to "kill" inferior problems in my life). Therefore, to end my inferior problems in life if they are something major, then I would obviously choose to end my life."
That doesn't even make any sense. How can you make a correlation between wanting to end all of your problems to Hitler, a man who thought genocide was an okay thing? Night and day.
You need to get back in front of your doctor STAT. Your thought processes are disturbing and bordering on delusional IMO.
"but you have no right to tell these people that they are weak and cowardly. If you would know what it is like to live with the worst possible suffering, then I bet you wouldn't say that). "
Do you think you're the ONLY person suffering? This forum is FULL of people who have struggled (some of us for the majority of our lives) with depression, anxiety, etc.
To think you're the only one who has ever suffered so much is just silly. You couldn't have a group of people who understand this kind of struggle more...which is why I don't understand how you don't take anything we say seriously. It's odd.
I had a normal value towards pleasure like anyone else would. But now that I have been through this depression and anhedonia, I know just how horrible it is to lose your pleasure and now I find that pleasure is the only greatest thing in life that matters. If I can't have it back, then I and this life are totally worthless regardless of what anyone else here says otherwise.
Now I do know that there are other people suffering with this as well and that they do understand me. I do not wish to offend them or try to convince them to go and kill themselves. Instead, I am just saying how I personally feel and that if anyone can convince me that my views are wrong here.
" Instead, I am just saying how I personally feel and that if anyone can convince me that my views are wrong here. "
They ARE wrong.....but you don't seem to want to listen to reason, or even try to listen.
I guess it would be because I now have such a high value towards pleasure, that no amount of reasoning will change how I feel. Some people would say that pleasure isn't all that important and that the pursuit of knowledge and many other such things in life is greater. But I am an emotionally sensitive human being who values my own feelings (pleasure) rather than a knowledge sensitive human being who values the pursuit of knowledge and other such things. I have no care or sensitivity whatsoever towards the pursuit of knowledge or any other such things.
If I was the smartest genius in the world with no ability to experience pleasure and I had the choice to either: 1.) sacrifice all of my intelligence to have all my pleasure back, or 2.) sacrifice most of my intelligence to gain of most of my pleasure back, I would choose to sacrifice all of my intelligence to gain all of my pleasure back.
Yeah, but you contradict yourself...before, you were stuck on "science" with no regard for emotions, theories, etc, remember?....now it's the opposite.
Do you see how you're confusing your own mind? You're like a taper recorder, playing the same tune over and over, until you switch songs....then you play THAT one. No matter HOW hard anyone tries to help you change the channel, you resist, and just hit that "play button" again.
Like it was stated earlier, you don't answer anyone's questions on here. Why?
You really need to see a psychiatrist ASAP. Are you currently seeing one? If not why? If you take this forum seriously then please answer these questions.