Firstly, I'm so sorry for your loss and for everything you've had to deal with. You are strong to have made it through that, even if you aren't feeling like it right now. The fact you have come here once again proves your strength: you can see you need some help and advice and aren't afraid to ask.
It's good that you have the goal of getting your life together for your children in mind and it is one to stick to, but you also need to think of yourself. I think it would do you some good to either see a therapist to address the emotions you are dealing with or address them with a trusted friend, pastor, or whatever you have in your life. Journal, if you have to. You need to sort through these emotions and get a solid plan in order. It may seem like you're stuck, but you can get out of this.
Many community colleges offer community classes for things such as medical assistants, EKG technicians, and other jobs. You might look into something like that as an option. Many of them are night classes, so even if you were to find a job to help you through, you could likely work your schedule around that.
See what sort of help you have in your area for finding a job, putting together a resume, etc. There should be something in your county somewhere. Ask around. Many of these places also offer similar classes to those listed above.
See what jobs are listed on your county and city/town's website. Sometimes there are things there that you might qualify for.
Don't let certain "requirements" put you off from applying for a job. You can turn a perceived weakness into a strength. If a certain amount of experience is required, you can point out something like: "I may not have ____ experience, but that makes me easily trainable. You don't have to train mistakes out of me." Certain requirements, such as a bachelors degree, might not be negotiable, but you can almost always find a way that not meeting that you requirement can actually be a benefit to the company. Sometimes, even pulling from past unrelated experience that you can apply to the job you're applying for can help. Turn it around. They'll at the very least see you have some problem solving skills/unique ways to look at things.
This economy is awful for job-finding, but with some perseverance and the right resources, you can find one.
Definitely surround yourself with a healthy support system of good friends and family members who can help you when you need some time to yourself or need someone to talk to.
Hang in there!
First of all you sound like an amazing father, weather you think it or not. You love you children and love is the main things that they need to blossom. I've been going through a tough time myself. for about 4 years actually. Type 1 diabetes, depression, OCD and a lot of just genuine struggles. I keep thinking, My gosh JUST GIVE ME A LITTLE BREAK!! I have had enough of living like that. depression is debilitating. I didn't see friends, hurt my body through eating like I wasn't diabetic, stopped taking insulin, all the bad stuff because it was like, what's the point? I got help 4 weeks ago. I told the DR about my issues and she put me on some medication. My overall mood has changed and I am making efforts now. before then it was impossible. I know a lot of people don't believe in medications but I suggest you try it. It may just give you that strength to cope enough to think clearly and improve your life and your children's. start with your GP. I am also seeing a psychologist, it does feel good to spill my guts about anything and everything and not be judged. Life's full of ups and downs, some cop it worse than others. I wish you all the best.
Its never too late to start over. Just have the determination to change the course of your life for the better. Plan and work hard on achieving your goals.
Best of luck to you.
Nobody ever gets their life together. There are just better times and worse times. Humans never mature, they just get older. And come on, 28 is very young to be thinking it's too late for anything. This is the depression talking.
lol yeah thanks. I just want to be the best mother I can possibly be to my kids and be a great wife. I apologize I accidentally clicked male instead of female My home growing up my mom and dad always seem like they had everything together even though it probably wasn't that way but I just want to be stable and be able to meet my husband half way. It just seem like I'm never gonna be able to do that.
I'm sorry for all that you have been through also. Yeah I have considered taking medication to help me become more calm but I think about the risk and side effects they say could come along with taking anxiety medication. I will definitely look into it though. I'm a female lol. I apologize I clicked male by mistake.
Thank you so much. It just gets very discouraging at times when it seem like your always being told no. I realize that I'm still young, but I don't wanna continue to be stuck in this same state and by the time I realize, I've gotten older and don't have much time left. So I'm trying to stay positive and keep moving. My husband tell me all the time just keep moving and that I'm gonna be able to look back at this and be like wow, I made it. That's what I'm ready to experience.
Thank you. Yeah I hope that I can get it together. I plan out what I'm gonna do and seem like I can never follow through with it.