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Avatar universal

Happiness

I have been on antidepressants for 15 to  20 years and I'm not really sure they do much good. I've never found a  counselor that I thought was someone I could talk to. I have four sons and I've been married for 33 years. One of my sons I seem to argue with over text messages a lot.  He has 2  kid's and it seems like the only time he ever text me is when he wants me to babysit. Don't get me wrong I love watching my grandkids. I would just like to be needed more than just as a babysitter.  I've come to the realization today that happiness for me comes through my kids And I guess they're not responsible for my happiness. I'm the only one that can make myself happy. I think I feel a lot of guilt for things that I've done in the past. I got married when I was 16 and by the time Ii was 23 I had four kids. My husband was 24 when we married. I love him dearly and I wouldn't change being married to him. We've both put each other through a lot of hell in the years that we've been married but we've overcome it. I don't have really any close friends. I don't have any activities outside of work except my grandkids and my kids. Life seems pretty lonely. I often get upset with my kids because I feel like they don't call me enough or they don't spend enough time with me. I really think I should just get off of this antidepressant medication and just get some counseling because I'm not getting anywhere. My biggest fear is that I will start having panic attacks again and I cannot take panic attacks. Panic attacks are disabling. I just don't know where to go from here. Just want some real happiness for myself and not from others.
2 Responses
1110049 tn?1409402144
I am in a similar position to you.  I have two children and four grandchildren.  I married when I was 22 in 1963 but am now divorced.

I have been on anti-depressants for over 20 years too.  Can we expect happiness?  

What anti-depressant medication are you on?

Our children have their own lives.  We have to make our own way in life.  

I had to give up work because of my depression .  I am now retired and have joined a senior citizen group.  I go out with friends I have made through that group, and do quite a lot of activities.

My children call me from time to time, and yes if my son wants me to babysit, I gladly do it.  I had to give up driving, so not so easy now.  I love my family very much, but I had to find interests of my own.  I live alone, but am not lonely.

I am gradually weaning off my antidepressant medication.  I think just to be content is enough, happiness is a very elusive thing.  
Avatar universal
hi ,
I am 39 and on and off antidepressants for 20 years almost  .. Never had good response to them .. tried many .. now trying mood stabiliser ,...Has anyone been on thyroxine or lithium or any mood stabiliser augmentations ?  

Also for me exercise helps to some extent .. And of course whenever i get into a relationship..

You must be more experienced than me but dont stop antidepressants suddenly  ... It can cause problems ...

I forgot to add hmmm ... i for last 10 years started loving myself and hence dont expect other people to make me happy  . so though depression didnt ease things got easier as i live only upto MY expectations  ..

Will keep in touch .. I could sure get some good advice from you too as you both are older hence wiser :)  
my warm regards ...
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