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Insight into shoplifting
My mother-in-law was recently arrested for shoplifting.
My husband has, over the years, admitted some of the problems his mother has, including past incidents of shoplifting, anorexia nervosa, and depression.
I am not directly involved with her, or the aftermath of this revelation. She has openly disliked me since our first meeting, and I can say the feeling is mutual. (She's not particularly intelligent, nor is she well-educated. Where I can't be bothered with celebrity, for example, she regularly buys gossip magazines. I guess I just don't respect her. Part of that is because the first day I met her, she put down her own son - while he was out of the room, of course - and couldn't understand what I saw in him. I found myself in the bizarre position of defending my new boyfriend from his own mother's attacks. In a later incident, she went on and on to me about how unattractive her daughter has become. I realized that if she's so easily hateful about her own daughter, I can only imagine what she says about me, behind my back. On yet another occasion, I was alone with her when, on the verge of tears, she lamented how her children weren't living up to her fantasy of marrying satisfactory partners. ...Yes...to me...her future daughter-in-law, at the time!)
It's not awful. We're civil, and there haven't been any cross words,, or anything like that. And I really like my father-in-law. But let's just say I'm using all my compassion in trying to understand her recent behaviour, instead of using it to judge her. She's not a bad person. She's just very, very different from me, and behaves in ways I sometimes can't respect.
So, I need to understand shoplifting, so I can at least not be a hindrance to the family, in dealing with this issue.
As I indicated, she has shoplifted before. I was under the impression this was in the past. When this latest incident came to light, it was revealed she's also been taking Prozac for some time.
Myself, I have never shoplifted. My parents owned a store when I was growing up, and I worked there from the age of seven. As such, I was always aware stealing was wrong. I am also a very honest and ethical person.
My mother-in-law is very well-off. My in-laws have literally millions of dollars, even though (or maybe because) they lead a very simple life. She doesn't "need" to steal. And now I'm a bit concerned that she could have my husband's niece and nephews with her when she shoplifts. Of course, this is humiliating for my father-in-law, who is a respected member of the business community.
I'd like to learn more about this kind of shoplifting, and if there's anything others can do to get the message home that it must stop.
My husband has, over the years, admitted some of the problems his mother has, including past incidents of shoplifting, anorexia nervosa, and depression.
I am not directly involved with her, or the aftermath of this revelation. She has openly disliked me since our first meeting, and I can say the feeling is mutual. (She's not particularly intelligent, nor is she well-educated. Where I can't be bothered with celebrity, for example, she regularly buys gossip magazines. I guess I just don't respect her. Part of that is because the first day I met her, she put down her own son - while he was out of the room, of course - and couldn't understand what I saw in him. I found myself in the bizarre position of defending my new boyfriend from his own mother's attacks. In a later incident, she went on and on to me about how unattractive her daughter has become. I realized that if she's so easily hateful about her own daughter, I can only imagine what she says about me, behind my back. On yet another occasion, I was alone with her when, on the verge of tears, she lamented how her children weren't living up to her fantasy of marrying satisfactory partners. ...Yes...to me...her future daughter-in-law, at the time!)
It's not awful. We're civil, and there haven't been any cross words,, or anything like that. And I really like my father-in-law. But let's just say I'm using all my compassion in trying to understand her recent behaviour, instead of using it to judge her. She's not a bad person. She's just very, very different from me, and behaves in ways I sometimes can't respect.
So, I need to understand shoplifting, so I can at least not be a hindrance to the family, in dealing with this issue.
As I indicated, she has shoplifted before. I was under the impression this was in the past. When this latest incident came to light, it was revealed she's also been taking Prozac for some time.
Myself, I have never shoplifted. My parents owned a store when I was growing up, and I worked there from the age of seven. As such, I was always aware stealing was wrong. I am also a very honest and ethical person.
My mother-in-law is very well-off. My in-laws have literally millions of dollars, even though (or maybe because) they lead a very simple life. She doesn't "need" to steal. And now I'm a bit concerned that she could have my husband's niece and nephews with her when she shoplifts. Of course, this is humiliating for my father-in-law, who is a respected member of the business community.
I'd like to learn more about this kind of shoplifting, and if there's anything others can do to get the message home that it must stop.
Best Answer
Some people shop lift for the mere adrenaline of getting away with it. Some do it because they can't afford the item they want (though probably not the case here). Some people do it for attention. Perhaps she feels a void in her life, maybe a spark that has gone from it. Maybe she feels all the attention goes to her children or others and she feels invisible. Her life is not going as how she expects it to go. Perhaps a sit down with the family can air out problems and instead of resentment maybe insight can come about. Family counseling would be helpful or perhaps individual therapy. Good luck
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