Is there anyone else up? I really need to talk to someone

[April2]

I've had the worst night ever. I just committed my 15 year old daughter into a mental hospital for a mandatory 72 hours and I don't know if I made the right decision. That was the hardest thing I've ever done. She's been cutting herself for almost 2 years. I thought she hadn't done it in a long time but she had, I guess. She just hid it from me. I really thought we were through all that.Tonight she blew up over something so small. She does that sometimes but hasn't done it in a long time. She has a trouble controlling her emotions sometimes.She wound up cutting herself and I was afraid she'd do something so I made her show me. I couldn't understand and asked her why? She told me she's been trying to tell me for a long time that she's depressed and needs help. I took her to the ER and they told me she needed to be watched for 72 hours and had her taken to the mental health hospital. I didn't know they'd make her stay that long. I feel so out of control. I'm her parent and I just left her with strangers for 3 days! I really didn't think she was a suicide threat, although she wrote some stuff on her myspace that sounded suicidal. When I asked her about it, she said she just said that to get attention from her friends. She wanted to see if anybody cared. I never know what to believe anymore with her. She's lied before. But tonight she was crying and asking me to not let her go there. I know she was scared. This is my baby!
Did I make the right decision? Has anybody gone through something like this? I can't even see her but an hour in the evening each day. I can't believe this. I just left my baby with strangers! And she was crying but trying to not show it. I couldn't hold back the tears either. I love her so much. I don't know how much is normal teen hormones anymore and what's normal or not normal. The cutting, I never did like or understand.
I'm having a really hard time dealing with this. I just don't understand why! She has a good family! She's not been abused or neglected. She has nice clothes and most things that she wants that we can afford. She told me tonight that she hates her family and she hates her life. The only one she doesn't hate is her baby brother. That hurt. I love her so much and I don't understand why she'd hate me when I've tried so hard to do the right thing and be a good parent. Sometimes I look at her and I don't even know her. I wonder what happened to my sweet, happy little girl. I don't understand any of this! And now I just left her with strangers and I have to trust them that they will diagnose her correctly and won't hurt her. A part of me wants to snatch her back and run away and hide her away from everything and protect her. But I can't protect her. All I can do is pray and ask God to be with her because I can't right now. This is the worst feeling in the world.

[tornandfrayed]

I will pray today for your child and put here at the top of my list....
She will wake up one day and realize the wonderful supporters she has had and will move on to better days...
Stay with her through this temporary storm...it will be worth it

[eimperati]

yes you did do the right thing...i use to be like her and the best thing for her is help...since i was in a hospital i stopped cutting and haven't had thoughts about it..they will give her medications to help control her thoughts and emotions

[jo929]

i want to say that you did the right thing i have worked with the mentally ill and troubled and some did not get the help in time of course a parent always wants their childrens love and someday after she gets the help she needs she will be thankful she wont now and will say awful things to you and try to have you take her home she will promise to be good all of that and more. she will make you feel guilty and you will be temted to beleive her, but for hersake plese let her get the help she needs she will get used to the place and in time will adjust, it will take time for her to get better,my brothers son went through this using wire and things and he needed helpbut my sister in law tried to handle it my brother wanted help for him but he would keep saying no mom dont make me go he had suicidel thoughts you make think she wont do something but you never know my nephew did try several times to od and got on dope and he is dying now so think about your child and just thank god that she is getting help i have known teens that did kill themselves so sad so cry but make sure she has the help she needs i know this is terrible for you and i can feel your heartache  but stand back and think how long has this been going on and i think you will decide the right path to follow one thing that can give you hope is that she told you she was depressed that is in her favor i think you got her there in time lots of  luck and do keep us posted     i care   jo

[April2]

The hospital just called and said they want to put her on Zoloft but when I looked it up online it says it was not prescribed for teens and I've seen some other scary things about it and other anti-depressants, like a teen committing suicide shortly after being put on it. Is there any anti-depressant that's better or safer for teens?

[eimperati]

either seroqual..i think thats how you spell it...but zoloft isn't that bad i have been on it since i was 17 and i did good...also wellbutrin XL

[eimperati]

and also resperdol..i don't know how you spell that one either

[April2]

I'm going to speak to the doctor tomorrow but he recommended Zoloft and Olanzapine. When I looked up Olanzapine it said it's used for Schizophrenia and psychosis! She is not at all Schizophrenic or psychotic! It does say it's sometimes used to treat Bipolar. I'm thinking they must think she's bipolor? I don't know. The side effects don't seem too good. I'm going to have to talk to the doctor tomorrow.
Does anyone know anything about these drugs? And how it can affect teenagers? Is there anything out there that's better for teenagers?
Thanks!
And thanks eimperati for your response!

[Venora Moonwind]

I was sooo hoping your daughter was past the cutting. but you did the right thingI take olanzpine for my bi polar and it works great. you and your daughter are in my prayers that she will be healed from this cutting .Let me know how she progresses.
Love Venora

[Kande]

Hello April2,  What a difficult time you have had. I think you did the best you could at the time...don't beat yourself up. I'am at a loss for answers on this one. I feel you need support now too. If you have read any of my posts you will see I'am anti-drugs. I feel that medication just covers up the persons problems. What I think is needed would be to council with a doctor and have your daughter express her feelings/thoughts,etc.. I wouldn't allow medication to be used. You want her to be able to sort out her thoughts and feelings with you...have a clear mind. Drugs cover everything up. They control, suppress thoughts...basically hold a person hostage. The problems are not delt with, the behavior is modified so the person doesn't care. You want a complete healthy human...not a robot. And when does it end? Teach your daughter how to heal...not reach for a pill. I know in your heart that is what you want, because of  some of your comments. Be strong you will get through this. You and your daughter will come out of this stronger and better.  Kande

[April2]

Venora, do you think they think she has bipolar then? I will talk to the doctor tomorrow. Since you're on this, what do you think of it? I looked it up and I heard that olanzapine has bad side effects like rapid and huge weigh gain and higher risk of diabetes! I already have a LOT of diabetes in my family. Everyone but me has gotten it on my mom's side. That's how prevalent it is. So I'm wondering if this is the best medication? Is there something else out there that works just as well?
And what about her being a teenager? Isn't there more risk than an adult? I do worry about the side effects. I heard that some teenagers committ suicide after starting anti-depressants. I don't know what to think! I want to do what's best but the meds scare me.

I guess I will have to wait and talk to the doctor tomorrow. Thanks for writing. Please write back when you get the chance. God bless.

[April2]

Kande, but we've tried the counseling. That's why I've gone so long without letting them medicate her. It's been two years and she's still not well. She's still depressed. I think I really need to think about letting them try an anti-depressant. No, I don't like drugs at all. But we've tried everything else. I had her in counseling over a year. She's not better. She's still depressed. I don't want to wake up to a dead kid someday either. A part of me says she wouldn't kill herself, but she talks that way sometimes on her myspace and in her journals. It's all so dark and sad. I'm tired of seeing all this darkness. I want her to find happiness. I want her to be well.
Believe me, I will be very careful with what is tried and I will try only the lowest dosages and if I don't see improvement, then we'll try something else. I don't see what other options I have. I want her to be well. I just have to keep praying and trust that God will lead us down the right path on this one. Thanks for writing.

[Kande]

I'am so glad your life is happy/healthy. But medication like that still scares me, you are a responsible person. A young person might abuse the use of pills...not that they intend to but to be so young and vulnerable. The treatment is so intense. Can the doctors do blood work to see if she is deficient in anything. It sounds like they don't have a clue as to what is wrong with her. If she is just seeking attention that would be horriblle to put her on drugs. Her behavior is enough to scare her poor mother to death, but with what kids see on tv they will copy anything to get attention. I guess I would like to see all other thigs ruled out before doctors use medication. If she wanted to take her life she would have by now. But this is a loud cry for help. I feel so bad for the mother! And you know she sounds like such a good mother to. But at least you made me feel a little bit better about some of the medication. Tough situation for all!  Kande

[Kande]

Now that I have read what Penguin Buddah posted I'am even more fearful. You may want to talk with him. In any event I don't want to add to your stress, maybe we should all do as you say and pray...we don't have the answers but God does.  Kande

[Kande]

I'am glad you are here for all of us. We do need your advise. This case has all of us concerned and heartbroken. Just please keep helping everyone. Thanks!  Kande

[Kande]

I'am glad you are here for all of us. We do need your advise. This case has all of us concerned and heartbroken. Just please keep helping everyone. Thanks!  Kande

[gracey888]

I feel sorry about your daughter. You did the right thing. We will just pray for her fast recovery.

Try to let your family unwind...go to the beach, have a picnic and do soulsearching...

Let your daughter breathe fresh air, and comfort her. Talk to her, let her know that you really do care for her and she has no reason to hate the ppl around her.

Just talk to her, ask her what's really her problem and help her conquer the trials she's experiencing now. Don't quit, u can surpass this. Just believe in God.  

[Happy2girls]

Oh April, Sweetheart, you and your daughter are in my prayers. I have a 14 year old daughter myself and my heart just aches for you and your little girl.  April, you did the right thing, I would have done the same.  You are trying to save your daughter's life and  that requires no apologies or second guesses.  Your daughter will some day come to understand your desperation and decision.  Again you are in my prayers.      

[wifely]

Just a word about medications - there are lots of differnt kinds and some work for an individual and some don't.  Doctors tend to start with the meds that have the highest success rate but it may take some time.  If there is no improvement or there is the 'haziness' of meds, you may have to try something different.  You may have to monitor your daughter yourself and make sure she keeps getting help until she feels well.

[medfree]

It's been two years since my 15 year old was admitted to a mental health facility for cutting and depression.  She was such an angry but hurting puppy and I felt totally impotent.  Her father and I were in the process of divorcing and he was actively putting me down in front of her and it affected her terribly.  She was placed on Effexor for a few months and saw a wonderful psychologist who really helped her through the whole process.  She recently graduated from high school (early) and is now in college and doing great!  I thank God every day for her continued health.  Keep being loving and supportive, watch her closely on the meds, make sure she is hooked up ith a counselor she can truly relate to (my daughter responded much better to a younger female therapist than the older man she started with), and pray, pray, PRAY!  Someday, she will turn around and appreciate you for being there for her.  My daughter and I have a closer relationship now than we ever have.  You are in my prayers, dear!

[April2]

Ok, I agreed somewhat reluctantly to the Zoloft, for the depression, and Neurontin as a mood stablizer instead of the Olanzapine. The side effects don't seem to be as severe. Does anyone know anything about that drug? I'm still not crazy about all this. The doctor said she's suffering from PTSD from the trauma she suffered when she was younger. The meds are just supposed to help keep the mood swings leveled out but he wants her in counseling. She's had counseling for a year. That's how we found out she was molested, or touched inappropriately by a neighbor boy. She was also bullied a lot in middle school. I didn't realize how bad it was because she just didn't tell me. This is so hard for me. I'm her mother and I didn't protect her! I always tried to be so careful to know where my kids were and who they were with. Some of this apparently happened at sleepovers with her best friend (it was her older brother).
The doctor asked her if she was mad at God or blamed him for not being there for her and she said yes. Her faith has really struggled the last few years. I worry that she just won't or can't move past this. I hate being in this place. It's so painful! It isn't just my daughter hurting. I hurt too so badly. I just want to be able to get past this!

Medfree, thank you so much for sharing! You understand what we're going through! It helps to know that someone else has been there too and got through it. You've given me hope. Thank you! Do you mind talking to me so more if I need it? Are you able to send and receive private messages on here? I don't know why I crave knowing someone who's been there. Maybe so I don't feel so alone. You've given me a glimpse of hope though and I so appreciate it! More than you know.

Thank you to everyone who responded! You all are great! It's so nice to know there are people out there who care and understand what we're going through. I'll let you know more when I know more. And thanks for the prayers! I'll take all I can get! God bless you all!

[Kande]

The last thing I want to do is bother you. I feel like I have rambled on so much to you at such a painful time in your life. But if will allow me one more time to ramble I will be good...unless ask for advise - promise! I just want to give you something to think about. I fully believe something of good will come from this painful time. I'll tell you why. A few years ago I was diagnosised with a serious liver disease...one that everyone assumed would end up in death. I was in shock as anyone would be. I was more in shock because I was a health nut...organic food, exercised everyday, never smoked, drank , you have the picture. My friends all went to their doctors after I got sick because they thought if I was sick...probably something must be wrong with them since the health nut was ill. Really scared everyone! So of course I cried, went over things in my mind, just couldn't figure out how/why this happened to me. Now I'll make a very long story short... but through out my journey I seen miracle after miracle. And most of the miracles I seen happened while in doctors offices, hospitals etc.. I now know I had to be sick to see how God works. I knew he was there(in my mind) I had always believed and served him. But to see him work in my life and others lives was to wonderful to describe. When we are at are weakest point- he is at his strongest! Trust him like you never have before. Wait for your miracle! Be patient...he may have many for you. I still see good that has come from my illness. One has happened again...I met you. That would not have been, except I had a liver transplant and since I 'am still healing I use my computer a lot now. I never did before except at work. Never would I have had time to come to a site like this. But God made me be still and showed me many things. There is no doubt that at this time I was to meet you and talk with you. Why? Lets wait and see what he has for us. One thing I know...to pray for you and your family, what an honor. Don't ever doubt, he will bring you a miracle! And if you feel like me look at all the wonderful people we have met here. His blessings go on and on. Take comfort tonight he is with you...always!  Kande

[medfree]

I'm so glad I was able to help you.  I don't know that we can chat privately on here so I set up a special e-mail account to talk with you.  You can reach me at ***@****.  I look forward to talking with you.  I too was molested by not only a neighborhood boy, but also by my best friend's father so I believe I have a special insight into yor daughter's situation.  

Talk to you soon!

[April2]

medfree, your email didn't show up. Medhelp blocks emails so I think you have to spell it out like medfree at yahoo dot com (just an example).

You can send and receive private messaging on this site too. You just have to update your profile. It's pretty easy.

I hope to hear from you soon.

[medfree]

It's medfree at live dot com