I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of this.
Dreams can come true and there's no reason you can't go to school.
Your story reminds me a little of my daughter. She is incredibly beautiful and gets lots of unwanted attention. People have no idea that's she's a beautiful person on the inside as well as being extremal intelligent, caring and loving. She has BPD. With BDP you can have depression, anxiety, low self esteem, the list goes on and on. What I'm trying to say is it makes me mad when people value a person only for their outward beauty. It truly is on the inside that counts.
You need to find a different therapist. Sometimes it can take time to find one you really like and trust. Remember that they work for you, not the other way around. Make appointments and interview them. If you don't click with them then move on to the next therapist. You will find one you like.
Check out the local college in your area to see what kind of classes you might want to take. You can do this. My daughter has 2 college degrees even though she has struggled all of her life with BPD. It can be done. I really think going to school will make you happy and also give you a reason to get up in the morning. You may be able to get financial help. Talk to someone at the college about this. If you need help I can ask my daughter to send you a message.
Can you make some calls tomorrow about seeing a new therapist?
Your in my heart felt Prayers and Blessings my Friend =0)
Hi,
It seems you had a very complicated life. I wont to bla bla but come straight to the point. You see, there is a learning from every incidence that happens in our life. You had a lot of incidences in your life, so try to learn from that and do not repeat those things. Second, you should always keep yourself busy. The more busy you are, the less time you get to brood over things. so do a job, and keep yourself busy. depression comes if we think a lot, so stop thinking a lot. Its better you consult a therapist and get treated for a few months. all the best.
Thank you for replying back to me. :) Can you please tell me more about your daughter? Maybe we can message each other? Does your daughter take medication? What degrees did she go for? It gives me hope to know that she could get through school. I really want to go back this fall. I do try to get up I work out a lot, but I have bad body pain. Not sure if it's because of all the stress. Thank you so much for being so kind looking forward to hearing from you. :)
It's pretty obvious I should do those things. Again your telling me something I know. It's for me to go out and put myself out there and get a job. I have a fear of rejection and I have very low self esteem. But thank you.
After suffering chronic depression for almost 20 yrs my reading a lot and seeing many therapists and getting many medications recently i realised myself that i have BPD traits . I can (i think) understand your situation especially our relationship with therapists . The most important is get the therapist you trust ( having black and white thinking its difficult for us ...refer internet on black and white thinking ) and preferably who is trained in treating bpd if u r diagnosed with bpd .
I had many lousy and mean psychiatrists , but 2 good therapists who understood me ... Ultimately now im gettting better especially after reading and practising cognitive behavioural therapy ( my main problem is depression not BPD ) . For bpd DBT (refer net) is more better .
I didnt have Hating myself as a symptom and that helped me to prevent suicide . Thats a challenging symptom and the best you can do is get a good therapist and read a lot and also interact with people in medhelp .
And :) DONT HATE YOURSELF ... Let whole world hate us but DONT HATE OURSELVES ... ITS NOT OUR FAULT :) Im not a counsellor so i dont know how elese to put it .. Keep posting and U WILL GET WELL gradually ...