My spouse has a mix of medical problems which all make one another worse... makes it hard to choose where to post, but major depression is his main diagnosis so I'll post here.
He also has anxiety, high BP, an ulcer & sleep apnea (uses a CPAP).
He takes plenty of meds (sadly I don't have the exact dosage here, just know it's on the low side) : Cipralex (like 5mg or 10mg once a day), Wellbutrin and Ativan... Avalide & propanolol for BP, cytomel to help with sleepiness, Nexium & sulcrate for the ulcer.
Living with someone who's depressed and anxious is hard enough... but there is a major problem going on...
My spouse has huge memory problems.
He can tell me the same story over 3 times or forget what he's doing, what I just told him, things like that...
But then again, I looked around and found out there was a link between sleepiness, concentration & short-term memory problems. Depression in itself may cause this, as can sleep apnea, as can many of his meds.
But he also will totally forget (or is he lying?... I don't think so... which is even more worrying in a way) conversations we had (I mean completely! Not parts of it or wording of things we said... forgetting the FACT that we even talked... even if it was an important discussion). He may remember the conclusions, if I bring the subject up... but won't remember when the discussion took place, where, how, etc.
And he may not remember anything at all.
We fight regularly because I bring something up and he doesn't remember & he feels I decided alone, or I am telling him what to do (when he had told me to remind him to do something).
But not only won't he remember, he changes his mind completely, most of the time!
The other day we had a long discussion about projects and our relationship, he also told me about how he felt emotionally... 2 days later he told me he didnt remember a thing! Didn't remember talking for hours... I felt like I had lost my time talking to a ghost. Now I wonder, whenever he wants to talk about important stuff, if it's worth it!
Recently he told me he started feeling better and he wanted to start watching less TV. 2 days later I made a joke about watching less TV & he almost got mad, looked at me like I was crazy & asked why I wanted him to watch less TV! I reminded him what happened & he started arguing the TV had nothing to do with anything... like it was my idea... even though I had just explained to him HE had decided that! Not only didn't he remember (even when reminded) but he didn't agree with himself!
I know mental illness is an illness like all others. It's not his fault. But it's been really hard to live with, with all the fights that wouldn't have happened if he remembered or didn't disagree with himself (sometimes I feel like he has multiple personnalities... but if that's it, he doesn't fit the classical criteria & none of the psychologist/psychiatrist he saw found out... that I know of anyways...).
Talking about that, he isn't seeing anyone except his GP. Says they never do anything new, he knows about all the behavioral techniques & apply them all, and knowing why he has the problems doesn't help him feel better... and the last psychiatrist he saw relied mostly on his GP so he sees him instead (once a month.).
Honestly I'm not sure what to do on that front. I have a bachelors in psychology so I do believe in psychology a lot... I wish he saw a psychiatrist for a re-evaluation & maybe re-adjustment of the meds... But I also know what it's like to go over and over to see health care professionals & start over & not get a result... I know they are not always good nor miracle workers... maybe there isnt anything else... or if they have all missed it, why wouldn't the next one?
I also know it would work much better if he went willingly, for himself, not for me... really wanting to work on a therapy. Plus, I know therapists can't do much if he's not honest with them.
I'm on the fence on this one.
So I ask you... What?
What you think about this mess...
Do you think there is something else, does it resonate for someone?
And would you push for therapy?
...sorry this was long...
A million thanks!