Need Help Escaping

[spyro94]

For the past year now, I feel I have been falling progressively closer to depression, and have been making an effort to distract myself. Until recently, I had found ways to avoid thinking about what was depressing me, and had found ways by which I could remedy (temporarily at least) the way I felt. The past few months, particularly since the beginning of November, I have been declining and seem to be unable to do anything much about it. Perhaps in a week, I may have 8-10 hours during which I am not plagued by negative thoughts and depression, and in these times I feel almost myself. For the rest of the week however, I feel like I have become someone different; antisocial, and unhappy.

Exercise has been my main distraction, and also reading. But there is a limit to how much I can do either, so I am trying to find ways to stop my mental situation declining. Particularly during school hours -I have never been challenged by school, and manage to retain the position of top student without too much strain- I feel alone and need something to think about to overpower the depression that seems to loom over me whenever the slightest chance presents itself. I need to find something to look forward to each day when I wake up...

I have changed schools recently, and this was a ray of light, since all that was important to me previously seemed to be crumbling around me, and I hoped that with a new beginning, things would be better. It would seem that fate has a cruel sense of humor, since in my new school, though I could have friends, my classmates are depressingly immature, and not only do they not have the maturity to carry out a mature conversation, but they are not amused by anything save for sexual comments, swearing, and bodily gases. None of which hold much appeal for me as constant conversation topics.

[spyro94]

LeftCoastChick, I appreciate your comments and help.

jmdunn, the problem I am facing is that I am sure that there is no one I can really approach about this, I attempted bringing it up slowly with my parents, but they laughed it off. My father is a very self-sufficient, imposing person, and sadly his ideas are very inflexible. I have no way of making him accept that I am facing a problem, and for the last year, he has barely noticed a difference because I do my best to hide things from him. I don't think it would be possible right now for me to seek medical help..

Primarily, I need help dealing with this myself, and if I continue to decline, then I might see about a psychiatrist.

[jmdunn]

Talk to your parents or counselor. See a Doctor. Depression is a medical condition and is very common. It can be treated with medication, and couseling.

[LeftCoastChick]

First, I think keeping up certain things, like excercise and daily activities are really important for your wellness, I think you are really trying hard to do that. With depression and other disorders, routine is essential.  Low moods, irritation and self isolation are signs of depression. It's important you see a GP , get a physical and a referral to a psychiatrist. Most, but not all depression can be caused by a chemical imbalance. I know in Uni, I had a heck of a time, and trying to keep my grades up was extremely difficult at times. As well, just the stress of that made it hard. I took a couple of Graduate course while I was in my Undergrad, as I was excelling in my Major. In hindsight, though it was mentally very challenging, probably not the best idea due to the stress level. You irritation  and low patience levels could also be caused by depression.  I believe depression happens to everyone at one point in time or another, but when it lasts more then a month or so, it needs to be addressed.