Not coping very well

[melissa845]

Ive just turned 19 and on my 18th birthday me and my best friend over dossed and she passed away...Ever since then i have been struggling with depression. I have talked to counselor's and a number of other people, but every time i stop and think i slip back into that zone...I have tried everything to keep myself busy...Its just not working. Sometimes when im walking down the street i have an urge to step out in-front of a car or something, just so the thoughts would go away...Now i get scared of going outside in case something happens.
I just want the thoughts to go away. Can anyone help me ?

[Linzola1]

I am so sorry this happend to you dear... I amonly21 and couldnt imagine going through anything like this even now... Just so you know this was not your fault dear... We have all done things we regret...although regretting wont change the past I know how hard it is to move on! You are in my thoughts and I will pray for some peacefor you dear.God Bless

[luxe29]

im so sorry to hear you had to go thru something like that and at such a young age,i dont know if this will help but my view on loosing loved ones is they have gone to a better place and we are left here to finish up whatever it is we need to do until we meet again.sincerely luxe29.

[mammo]

If you are having suicidal thoughts, you need to see a psychiatrist, and get help.  There are medications that can help you get thru this difficult time, and therapy to learn how to cope with what happened when you turned 18.  Was it stupid?......Yes.  But at this age we have all done stupid things, unfortunately your friend's choice was a fatal one.  Please do not beat yourself up over this, and as your friend she would want you to move on, learning from this experience, so that you can live a happy life.  I've lost so many loved ones myself, I question a lot of things, have been thru severe depression, you name it.  But we have to accept that bad things happen to all of us in life, really bad things, but I think it is all a learning experience.  I don't undertsand what I am to learn from all the losses I've suffered, I just know that there are people we love and who love us and we must also think of them.  I too, have had suicidal thoughts, but then had lunch with a girlfriend.  She uses her sense of humor to get thru life's difficulties, which she has had many of also.  I told her that sometimes I think about turning the wheel of my car and going over the embankment while driving down the steep road behind my house.  She said "yeah, I used to have thoughts like that, but realized I would probably just end up all crippled, and then nobody would want me!"  She's right!  This accomplishes nothing.  So, please see a psychiatrist, get on meds for the depression and they will teach ways to cope with what has happened.  Life is worth living, and your friend would not want you to not live a long happy life.  Take control of your life, and get healthy.  A lot awaits you out there............go for it!!