Please HELP

[Tinners]

Please help! I have been having medical problems for months and I am feeling really depressed especially since all my friends are perfectly normal and here I am with this unknown condition that no one seems to be able to figure out!

Ok, here is my history:
In September  2008 I was diagnosed with tendonitis/carpel tunnel in my right wrist after playing field hockey. All my friends have done the same thing that I have done before and their wrists are fine so I think it's weird but anyway..
I am 12 years old and I have been on crutches for 7 weeks. It started with pain in my right lower abdomen (like appendicitis). I was brought to the hospital where they did an x-ray and cat-scan of my hip area. The doctors suspected it was appendicitis until they saw the  test results- completely normal.

About 4 days later my abdominal pain worsened suddenly and I couldn't move my right leg. I went to the hospital again, they did the x-ray and cat scan again of my hip, which were normal. Then they did an ultra sound, which was also normal. They discharged me and told me to follow up with my primary care doctor, and gave me crutches since I couldn't walk.

I have been tested for Lyme disease and it was negative, but i was put on doxycycline anyways for two weeks which didn't help whatsoever. I went to an infectious disease specialist who did blood tests for things like mono- everything was normal once again.

I have an appointment for a neurologist (finally!) on thursday. But here are all of of my symptoms (they are always changing, but almost never getting any better):

Constant fatigue, inability to bear weight on my right leg w/out severe pain in knee, hip and lower back, Stiffness in all joints, short term memory loss, mild loss of balance, dizziness, tingling and numbness in legs especially right leg, progressive weakness in arms and legs, eye pain (like inside my eye rather than around my eye like when you have a sinus infection), heat and light sensitivity, HALLUCINATIONS ( i cannot stand them anymore!)- i see silver spots, black spots, flashes of light, stripes, black clouds, and "rain"; ringing in the ears, mumbling sounds, tapping sounds, music; headaches like I have never experienced before (back and top of my head, which are tender to touch), pressure feeling in my head and heaviness, tilted neck (hard to keep it straight), slight intermittent pain in upper back, neck pain, saddness inability to concentrate and think.

I have 3 tutors which i see 6 times a week for two hours each because i have missed over 5 weeks of school. I really can't take it anymore because I am just soo overwhelmed and I hate myself because its so hard for me to do the work and it takes me a really long time to do it. I am always tired and I wish I could just sleep and never wake up! Everyone is expecting me to do all kinds of things that I really can't do. I feel like I am just lazy and think people think that I am lazy. I am really trying and normally I am a straight A student. I am so distressed and tired of this that I don't even want a diagnosis I just don't want to do anything. I don't feel like I belong in this world and wish that I could just disappear.

And I really wish that I didn't have all these tutors because all it is doing is making me feel worse and guilty for not being able to keep up! My parents don't seem to understand and I am beginning to think that I am going crazy.

Sorry it is so long!
Please if anyone has any suggestions I would appreciate it. Thanks

[Tinners]

Thanks for the post.

But I'm not depressed because I have tutors, I'm just sad in general and the tutors aren't making me feel any better because they give me all this work that is almost impossible for me to do because  I can't focus and I have horrible memory.And that some people feel bad for me, some think I'm faking it and no one actually understands, its so confusing because some people will be like "Oh I'm so sorry" and then other will just be like "I'm sure you are fine" So I don't even know what to think..  I'm hoping I'll get some answers soon. Anyway, thanks again for the post I'll keep you updated

[ILADVOCATE]

First of all your parents should be supportive. And naturally what you are going through would make you depressed. But don't let the fact that you need tutors make you depressed. When the neurologist diagnosis what is wrong you may need a variety of accomodations for your disability and the school should be supportive as well as your parents. I can't guess what the diagnosis is but when you find out I could look up a support group for it. There is one for multiple sclerosis nationwide for example that's well known as for myself, dystonia. And every support group has groups associated with it for friends and family.
   I have advanced tardive dyskinesia and what they are identifying as tardive psychosis. I did recover from schizoaffective disorder which I had my whole life but am thankful I only had to experience the physical disability in the past year. I know that the earlier these occur the hard it is to cope with them. But when I worked part time in an independent living center I ran into many people of all ages with severe disabilities that with treatment and supports and services and accomodations they needed were able to enjoy life regardless including a co-worker with muscular dystrophy. After you obtain a diagnosis a good way to find out what supports and services and accomodations for your disability are available in the community is to look up your local independent living center. There's one in every county of every state. Here's a list:
http://www.ilru.org/html/publications/directory/index.html
  Good luck with the neurologist visit and post again after you obtain a diagnosis. Then we can give better suggestions when they know what's going on. The neurologist will be able to diagnose you. Its how you cope with the disability afterwards and I believe my ideas might be a start.