Am I Depressed?

[jhonygirl89]

Ever since the beginning of school, my life has seemed to change, my best friend told me that she is part lesbian, my other friends have been takeing drugs and haveing sex. i dont want to do that, I am only 11 years old and my old personality has been bubbly and nice and sweet. Now, i have been having mood swings, thinking about cutting myself ot killing my self( i havent... yet) and it seems to take a lot of energy to get up out of bed, or walk down the hall. i have been doing worse in school, i am only in sixth grade  and i have been to the  principals office at least 2 the last two quarters. I have secret feeling about everything, but no one seems to have the time. my friends only talk about themselves and my parents stay away from me , i dont kno what it is!!

[more0then0a0virus]

i totally agree with nlk259949.
    If your friends think they are better then everyone else who does things with/to himself and judge everyone who is not like them, you don`t need them. S*c*r*e*w them.  
     if they are like that, sooner or later they will find some flaws of yours, and you will be their target. some people just need to blame everyone else and enjoy someone`s misery, but in fact they hate their lives so much that they need someone else`s to make it fun.  

[nlk259949]

friend*anymore

[nlk259949]

I know it's hard when everyone else is making fun of someone at your age, to not just go along with it. It's hard to stand out. But honestly, you are better than these friends of yours that are judging this person for being a lesbian. So stick up for the lesbian friend. Or even if she is not a friend anything, stick up for her. Being a lesbian is not a choice. Do you choose to like guys? No. You just feel that way in your heart, and you can't change that. That is how it is for Lesbians. They are people just like anyone else, and anybody who makes fun of them, should be ashamed of themselves. You are better than these friends =).

[jhonygirl89]

i know it is not a big deal that sshe is lesbian, but my other friends judge her and they want me to judge her and i dont want to.

[more0then0a0virus]

I agree with lesbian thing. If someone has a right to be straight, why wouldn`t lesbian be OK also? It`s a matter of who we are. It does not hurt anyone.

So, you are depressed and doing drugs or you are a lesbian? I guess you are aware your depression might be worse due to drug use... That`s just a fact. I don`t say anything. I don`t judge...

Take care...

[depressed13]

and being lesbian is NOT wrong no matter what people tell you their just saying that because their insecure bratty jerks and dont know how to be nice

[depressed13]

jhoneygirl86 i feel the exact same way and i am only 14 and i am the way your friend is but i havent told anybody cause im afraid i will be made fun of and plus it is hard to deal with even before i m telling anyone but im making it

[nicolelord12]

ya..It looks like depression symptoms.(mood swing, suicidal thoughts )

[more0then0a0virus]

        What would she lied about? If she feel threatened by you because you cannot adjust on her change, it`s easily possible...  
       And you have NEVER lied to your friends? If not, that`s really impressive...

         She is young. Well, I was 13 when i started...

        I`m really sorry about her... I know what she is going trough... Now, if you do what you are planing to, it might make her depressed. And you know that feeling...
        You are young(listen to me, like i`m someone old or mature) and it`s hard to make a right decision. But be aware of what you are doing. She could start to separate people who do and don`t do drugs. She could get impression that ppl, who do not use it, are evil and judgmental and trapped in tiny boundaries of life.
      It`s nice you are thinking about her so much... I would like to talk to her so much... Usually, when someone older says something to young drug abuser, he thinks it`s a lie, and that can`t happen to him. but i would like to share with her my experience, so she could at least be more careful then I was. Nothing more... please, ask her about it if you are still talking to her...    
      I suggest you to post question about her on Substance Abuse community before you do anything what you might regret. There are a lot of people there, and they have good advices. And on this forum, try to focus yourself on you and your depression...      

[jhonygirl89]

she wasent here at school today. every single person in our "group" at school exept for 2 because i havent seen them agree's with my decision. she is only 12, and if she has lied to me, thats another reason

[more0then0a0virus]

If you have already said to her she is not your friend, tell us. Do not feel guilty about it. These situations are hard to deal with. Especially if you haven`t had any experiences with it... Some older people don`t know how to handle it also. Tell us what happened, and what you want to do with your friendship. There is possibility we have some idea how to make things right... If she is a good person, maybe she is worth of trying...

[more0then0a0virus]

        I agree with nlk259945.

         But I also think if you can`t accept her behavior, it`s better to stop hanging around with her. This relationship might put you both trough misery. To her because her friend can`t accept her, which might make her feel like a failure, and to you because you have to look what she does to herself.

         I think you don`t have a right to judge her(Don`t take it personally, I`m not trying to offend you or say you are wrong. I`m just trying to share my thoughts with you...) It`s her life. You should try to put yourself in her shoes. I do it all the time, because we are all different and have our needs and interest. Just because hers are different, it doesn`t necessarily mean she deserves to be rejected.
        e.g. I don`t understand ppl who are upset because of some exam, and i don`t say to them: "You are stupid because you`re not like me", but I try to put myself in their position, and comfort them by sharing my way or viewing it. That doesn`t help always, so I am there for them if they are frustrated and need someone to share they fears and thoughts with.

       Try to understand her.I was there and still partly am, so i know how it is. Doing drugs and drinking is really fun and pleasurable. At the beginning. And then(for me after t2-3 years) it becomes some cold routine. You lose many people by making your choices because they look everything from their perspective, and at the end, you end up going out just to get high, not to hang out and stuff.
      When i started, I knew all the facts about drugs, and she probably searched a lot too, but I didn`t mean i will end up having these problems with my family due to my not existing self-control.
      I think it`s OK to experiment... I know a lot of ppl who does it from time for time to time for years. but if she does drugs regularly, it`s easy to cross a line and it`s hard to admit things aren`t OK anymore. You end up asking yourself "How i end up like this?".  
        Ask her what does she wants. No matter how old she is, she should be aware of consequences, If her goal is to ruin herself,which is possible, then she does things to get there and that`s it, but if she wants to have a future, she needs to try not to make drugs, and alcohol her only pleasure.
       And people will change in the meantime, and she will stay the same if she doesn`t find more interests. She might earn really bad reputation, like I did, and then it`s really hard to make friends. In that case she will end up alone or with ppl like her, and the most important talks will be "Do you have money for something?"  It takes huge effort to get out of that situation. I have been trying not to be like that for about a year. Every time I failed. And now I`m finally doing better.  
      And one thing more, I do different drugs and all, and some of my friends don`t share my interests and i feel isolated when i talk to them about it. They are in the same situation as you are, but they have accepted me. Maybe my reputation took care of not hanging out with judgmental people... And that`s great.
      What drug does she use? What does she wants to take? Does she have a plan? I know I had... How are her grades? Worse? Interests? How old is she?

    Are you going to tell your mom? What`s the plan? Are you still afraid?  And please answer why. I asked you already so I`m going to copy-paste it: How are your parents like? Supportive, judgmental? Describe them to us. How do you get along with them?

P.S. If you want to, you can suggest(NOT ORDER) your friend to talk to me. I wan`t force her to do anything. i`m not that kind of person. i respect a human rights. i think our talk would be interested and might help me as much as her. I can PM you my email if you want... . I`m also a teen... I could understand or help her to be aware of what might happen...

[nlk259949]

oh ok!Hope you had a good time! Glad you realized this though--I think that is a smart decision but don't just tell her that you are not her friend anymore. She may be acting this way because she is going through a lot too...everyone does the things they do for a reason. I think she is going through a time where she can't realize or see that what she is doing is wrong, or how it is affecting good friends like yourself. I would try to talk to her and let her know that you are not comfortable being around her while she is doing these things. That you will be here if she needs you, but until she stops doing the things that hurt you/bother you, that maybe it would be best for you both to be more distant. That way you are still being a good person. Just remember, you don't know what somebody else is going through. Even if she comes off as the worst person in the world...maybe it's just a mask for some other issue really going on. Stay strong =) Things will get better!

[jhonygirl89]

i  was in kentucky for a weekend, but i was thinking it could be my friend teresa. she is the big drama queen, and tomorrow im gonna tell her im not her friend. she is the one that drinks, haves sex, and takes drugs

[nlk259949]

Hah, I couldn't agree more. I thought my fiancée, his best friend, and me were the only people that were this open minded. It is VERY rare to find people like this. haha thank you, I like the way you see the world too. I am definitely open to all and any options out there. I am willing to listen to whatever anybody has to say, because I don't think anything is really set and stone. Values, beliefs, etc are constantly changing, and I kind of like to set my own, and believe what I think is best, which I think everybody should do. My life's journey is to spread my mind...and I can only hope people start to awaken and do this to. It's nice to see another girl with a similar mind set. =)

[more0then0a0virus]

To: nlk259949
OK, I`m a bit surprised. Rare people agree with this... So now I`m confused... I like the way you see the world. You seem like you`re open to all options and ready to spread your mind. That`s great...

To:jhonygirl89
Is everything OK? You haven`t been here for a while...

[nlk259949]

Thank you, I really appreciate that =)

Yeah, I definitely agree for doing what you want, as long as you are not harming anyone else directly. This is supposed to be a "free" country, hah, but that seems to of gone down the drain with religion and the government lol, our founding father's would roll over in their grave. I think they had it all figured out. They weren't so much about religion, but just living, and being good people.

I see your point on being self destructive, I guess if somebody doesn't want to be here, that is their own choice. That's the whole point of personal freedom. Good point.
=)

[more0then0a0virus]

To:nlk259949
     It`s ok.

     I also think talking to us might help. But also, as you said, I think that`s not enough.

       Actually, you made some good points about religion and life style... I do agree with the most of it.
      I don`t think religion is bad. It has good advices, although it also has some traditional values that killed human right to be himself and that is not good.  
      But I guess that`s better then using drugs for people who care about themselves, because it`s not destructive...  
      Your two last sentences are really great.

       I have my own life codex and it`s a bit twisted: do what you want as long as you don`t harm anyone else directly (like raping, killing-except self-defense).
       But I think it`s OK to be self-destructive, and stuff like that because it`s human basic right to create his own destiny because we weren`t asked if we wanted to live this life. And who can`t accept that, should leave.
      And when human rights are offended, I think they should be defended the same way as offended.

To:jhonygirl89
How are your parents like? Supportive, judgmental? Describe them to us. How do you get along with them? Maybe that can help us to advice you how to approach to them...

[nlk259949]

btw- have you ever looked up Buddhism? They actually have some really interesting points

[nlk259949]

Sorry, wasn't trying to offend you, I read your comment the wrong way, and thought you were being sarcastic about the puberty thing. But if that was a legitimate question, I sincerely apologize.

Also, I don't think that it was bad advice for her to talk to us, that is why this community was made. I do think it is a good idea that she goes and talks to a psychiatrist though as well, if she can let her parents know how she is feeling. That is a great idea, psychiatrists are really willing to listen. But if her parents won't listen to her, than she must try here, or calling an online help hotline (there are many out there, for free, that are willing to help). I hope that her parents will listen though, because that is their complete responsibility as her parents.

And lastly, that's not offensive to me because as I said I am not huge on a lot of things in the bible. I am no religious guru, I wouldn't really consider myself Christian, because I believe in other aspects of different religions. I am not religious by any means, I think religion is a crock of shi* haha, but I don't think that God is. I do agree with learning to cope by yourself, you can't depend on anyone else, but sometimes life gets extremely hard. And it's not the worst idea to talk to God, when no one else will listen. Yes it's an escape, but just about anything you do in life is an escape. Even if you are doing something alone just for you, it is still an escape from the real problem. If you exercise, paint, write, they are all escapes from the real issue.  But as humans, that is how we were designed to cope. You do have your right to your own opinion though, and I am not trying to argue with you. I think arguments over religion are stupid. There are wars in the world over religion--absolutely pointless if you ask me. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. Religion really shouldn't even exist if you ask me. People should follow the obvious basic moral rules of life, and just love and be a good person. It's really as simple as that lol.

[more0then0a0virus]

Oh, yeah... Faith can help... I`m atheist, so not to me...

********************BE AWARE:Not recommend for religious ppl******************
But I think faith can also be a runaway from reality. And that`s not good either... Just like alcohol and drugs. Although we have a right on that, it`s still runaway...

We have to learn how to cope by ourselves. That`s an exit from dependence. But that`s just my opinion...

P.S I hope this wasn`t offensive. I`m not willing to argue too much about this subject. I can`t agree with religious people most of the time, and I have a right on my own opinion, as much as you do...

[more0then0a0virus]

To: nlk259949
I didn`t mean to offend anyone... I asked that because i thought it`s maybe possible and I didn`t know that...

To:more0then0a0virus
       I know you are scared. I would be also if I had to tell them, but they have learned it hard way.
       I think you should visit somebody. Just to be sure what`s going on. If you go to shrink, it doesn`t mean you are less valuable or crazy. Some of us just need some advise about way of dealing with emotions. And I`ve got impression you can`t, or you are scared to talk about this with your parents. I understand that.
        And by waiting, you won`t change anything. It`ll just get worse and you won`t to protect your parents that way. You have to be active. You know your parents better then we. What they find acceptable? Try to tell them easier version of your story or lie to them comletely, if you arn`t ready to tell the truth, even though honesty might also help. Adults have some good advices.
       I don`t agree with nlk259949 about talking to us. We can help you, but we are not experts and don`t know your whole story. Maybe you are depressed because of something you aren`t even aware of. Shrink can find a link between some things... And after all, writing is not the same thing as talking.
       What scares you about talking  with your parents? That you will concern them? That they will judge you? That you`ll have to accept you have a problem?

[nlk259949]

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
      - Isaiah 40:29-31
(I am not huge on a lot of the things taught in the bible, but I do think it is a good basis for life)...and when no one else will be there for you, I can promise you God will. Through my hardest times, praying to God always eased the pain. He will be there, all you have to do ask. =)

[nlk259949]

Azazeleek didn't necessarily mean puberty lasts for 6 years lol, she just meant that typically teens go through a really rough time from about 6th-12th grade. Most teens do feel insecure all the way up until college, it is only normal. In a way this is kind of puberty, because the reason you feel so insecure is because your hormones are out of wack until usually your mid 20's.

As for jhonygirl89,
I am so sorry that you are going through this. As you can see, A LOT of people have been through the same exact thing! I know that doesn't necessarily help right now while you are going through it, because you are still feeling the effects of depression. Try to stay as strong as possible, and just know, it really does get better. I know it doesn't feel like it right now (I went through this almost up until college on and off). I think I would have been able to get through it sooner though if I just focused on myself, and not everyone else. Try to find out who YOU really are and what makes you happy. Don't worry about everyone else, as hard as that is to do. Still be there for your best friend, even if you don't agree with her choices, but it also doesn't mean you need to surround yourself around her all of the time. One day, your good influence, might just rub off on her. But for now, she has to learn and experience this on her own. She is not a bad person though, she is just going through a hard time too, and expressing it in a different way. You are smart enough to know that is not the path that you should choose though, and I really commend you for that. I am so sorry your parents aren't really there for you, but you really should try to talk to them about how you are feeling. I know it's scary, but it's important that you at least let them know you are depressed, and see what advice they can offer. If at that point, they still won't help, I think talking to another family member, teacher, or coach is a great idea. And if you don't feel comfortable with that, there are plenty of help websites out there for depression. A lot of them even have numbers that you can call and talk to people that will listen to what you have to say =). Also, we are all here for you in this community, so whenever you need to talk, feel free to say anything. We want to help because we know how hard it is to go through what you are going through. Stay strong though, I promise you it gets better. Try to find things that you can do on your own that make you really happy =).