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SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND DEPRESSION
I am female of 22. I want to die so badly but i don't have guts.I don't know whenever I planned to kill myself that little voice inside stop me to do it. I don't know what to do. I am nothing. I have no talents,no self confidence,have extreme social fears because of this I have no friends,they think I am bore I don't talk too much so they always wanted to get away from me.
I am so lonely, can't express my feelings to others. I felt everyone was watching me(like I am freak) everytime someone spoke to me and my voice went deeper and my whole body starts shaking. It gets really bad when I have to do presentations infront of class. I hate my life.I am so angry with myself for being the way I am. I always feel guilty. When I get really angry at me or have mood swings I feel suicidal I cut my wrists using scissors or pins or knives,just scrape the skin to feel pain but not so deep as I don't want to depress my mom,she doesn't know about it.
I being the only child,My mom loves me and cares about me so much.My parents are separated and my father doesn't know how to love his child he only cares about money. My mom already suffer too much in her life and have high expactations from me but I don't know how to fulfill them, I just can't do anything.I am dying inside and outside pretend to be happy. I have tried hard but life is difficult,I can't fit in this world. I am so confused.I cry alot.I can't change my life.I am useless person. I just want to end it.....
NEED IMMIDIATE HELP I AM LOSING MYSELF............
I just wanted you to know that you have been in my prayers! Keep trying you are worth it.
yes really after posting all my feelings and getting wonderful replys, i am really encouraged to fight for my depression.
Thanks to all and i hope that whenever i got depressed, you all are here to help me :)
Thanks to all and i hope that whenever i got depressed, you all are here to help me :)
Yes i know i have good job , education and most importantly i very caring mother.as i except it in all my posts
I said in my first post that when i am going to kill myself, a little voice inside me stop me to do it and that voice is HOPE. I have always negative thoughts in all my life but only positive thing in me is BELIEVE that i can cope with my depression .
I hate my job but I am only doing to tell others that I can do it (but going through much pain) because they always say to me that" Laiba you can't do it"
I really love my mom,she is already going through enough after my dad left, i don't want to hurt her by telling about my pain.
I hope you also cope with all your pain just fight for it....
The help is in yourself. JUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.
I said in my first post that when i am going to kill myself, a little voice inside me stop me to do it and that voice is HOPE. I have always negative thoughts in all my life but only positive thing in me is BELIEVE that i can cope with my depression .
I hate my job but I am only doing to tell others that I can do it (but going through much pain) because they always say to me that" Laiba you can't do it"
I really love my mom,she is already going through enough after my dad left, i don't want to hurt her by telling about my pain.
I hope you also cope with all your pain just fight for it....
The help is in yourself. JUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.
P.s. Im glad to hear you have a job,and u are graduated and have a family that understand you.listen to me I have nothing.thats the diffferent points betwen us.u can survive i know just let ur negativy thoughts goes on and dont care what ur mind says.dont harm ur self because u r not in a desstroyed situation i swear.its me im overdosing and not eating anything just wanna dye.not you plz u r in better condition .just dont give up in front of ur thoughts.i wish you a happy life which i never had.and go on with ur good things in u lave u have alrady
omg when i reed ur post i mean im exactly like u in the same situation.plz PLZZZZ tell me if you find any solution .oh God help us.u r not alone
You have reached out...and received wonderful, warm, concerned responses from Med Help members.
Please keep trying. Your mom wants you to feel better. I agree that your needs must come first just now.
I agree also with everyone who responded that depression affects our behaviors in so many ways. I also have been where you are. Many times throughout my life. At 76 I look back and see that with help I always was able to pull out of that dark place and enjoy life again.
Maddie has said something important....you don't need to be a chatty, bubbly person. Our temperaments are decided by DNA. What is important is to talk about your feelings to others.
Have you noticed that even chatting with strangers can have a positive effect on your mood?
Hoping you are feeling stronger today....Hugs...
Please keep trying. Your mom wants you to feel better. I agree that your needs must come first just now.
I agree also with everyone who responded that depression affects our behaviors in so many ways. I also have been where you are. Many times throughout my life. At 76 I look back and see that with help I always was able to pull out of that dark place and enjoy life again.
Maddie has said something important....you don't need to be a chatty, bubbly person. Our temperaments are decided by DNA. What is important is to talk about your feelings to others.
Have you noticed that even chatting with strangers can have a positive effect on your mood?
Hoping you are feeling stronger today....Hugs...
I know what you mean about talking on the phone. When I am really low I unplug mine. I cannot talk to anyone. I cannot go out, I cannot shop, I isolate myself. Interaction with others is painful. I have low self esteem and think I am a horrid, ugly person.
It is all part of depression. We lose our self worth. We lose everything. What you are feeling now is normal for someone with depression. Believe me, life is so very difficult for those who have depression. It is a prison.
There is nothing wrong with being a quiet reserved person. We cannot all be bubbly and chatty. Even people without depression can be like that.
Yes I have often hated myself. I am doing well on anti-depressant medication. I would not survive without it.
Remember, what you are feeling is not permanent. it will come and go. You must get the right anti-depressant for you, and honestly yolu will feel so much better.
It is all part of depression. We lose our self worth. We lose everything. What you are feeling now is normal for someone with depression. Believe me, life is so very difficult for those who have depression. It is a prison.
There is nothing wrong with being a quiet reserved person. We cannot all be bubbly and chatty. Even people without depression can be like that.
Yes I have often hated myself. I am doing well on anti-depressant medication. I would not survive without it.
Remember, what you are feeling is not permanent. it will come and go. You must get the right anti-depressant for you, and honestly yolu will feel so much better.
I don't know what's wrong with me,sometimes i really felt so depressed and sad that i just give up on my life and i want to die.
I have very low self confidence and i am afraid of what other people think of me. My fellows always complaining to me that i don't speak too much and i am kind of reserved person,i even can't talk on phones... I think i have phone phobia thats why i have no friends.
I have great trusting issues,i can't trust on other persons easily. Even they were good to me....i think maybe they need some favour from me and i always look upon negative things of others.
when other people praise me of my beauty,clothes etc, i am like "why i am the centre of attention? Please don't look at me " but when no one notices me, i get stressed "i am not looking good"
Whenever there comes some kind of task(presentations,exam,meetings etc) i get too stressed week before and this tension causes much more depression to me.
I am too disturbed,i don't know what to do... I hate the way i am....
I have very low self confidence and i am afraid of what other people think of me. My fellows always complaining to me that i don't speak too much and i am kind of reserved person,i even can't talk on phones... I think i have phone phobia thats why i have no friends.
I have great trusting issues,i can't trust on other persons easily. Even they were good to me....i think maybe they need some favour from me and i always look upon negative things of others.
when other people praise me of my beauty,clothes etc, i am like "why i am the centre of attention? Please don't look at me " but when no one notices me, i get stressed "i am not looking good"
Whenever there comes some kind of task(presentations,exam,meetings etc) i get too stressed week before and this tension causes much more depression to me.
I am too disturbed,i don't know what to do... I hate the way i am....
I 100% agree with Maddie--everything she has said is spot on.Get the black cloud or black dog out of your mind and tell us how you might feel a little better.
When I am severley depressed I think I am a horrid person, but it is the depression talking.
You are a good person, remember that. And yes, you can go on. We are all in this world for a purpose. You are not alone. I, and all the other depressed people, understand how you feel. We really do. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You do not deserve this pain. Please get professional help. Medication will help a lot.
I have felt like you many times. You will win through. You must fight, fight, and not let depression win. We are all here for you. Your post above reminds me of how I felt when I joined this forum. Yes, I felt just like you. Ask other people here, and I am sure they will say the same.
Depression takes everything away from us, it truly does. This is not the real you talking, it is your depression.
Keep struggling, and defeat this nasty black cloud that enveloped you at the moment. Believe me, with the right support and medication, it will lift, and one day the sun will shine through for you.
You are a good person, remember that. And yes, you can go on. We are all in this world for a purpose. You are not alone. I, and all the other depressed people, understand how you feel. We really do. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You do not deserve this pain. Please get professional help. Medication will help a lot.
I have felt like you many times. You will win through. You must fight, fight, and not let depression win. We are all here for you. Your post above reminds me of how I felt when I joined this forum. Yes, I felt just like you. Ask other people here, and I am sure they will say the same.
Depression takes everything away from us, it truly does. This is not the real you talking, it is your depression.
Keep struggling, and defeat this nasty black cloud that enveloped you at the moment. Believe me, with the right support and medication, it will lift, and one day the sun will shine through for you.
Ok,lets talk--talking is great & you can tell me why you feel the way you do.What is the reason you feel this way.Why can't you take it anymore?Open up and talk and I will listen and be there for you.I have been depressed many times & I know it's so hard at times but we hope for better times & know it will pass--not matter what the situation you can start to feel better--there are great people on here.
No i don't think i can take it anymore,i mean what i am doing in this world? Why i am even born? I am just so alone,no one understand my feelings.
Why can't i change my life??? Maybe i deserve all this pain.
I feel so much headache and dizziness. My tears are not stopping.....
Why can't i change my life??? Maybe i deserve all this pain.
I feel so much headache and dizziness. My tears are not stopping.....
I think ggreg has given you such a lovely reply. Aren't the people here so kind and understanding? They all helped me a great deal when I came to this forum, just like you, in a really low state. Just to talk to people who understand.
I am so glad you have such a lovely mom. I have been responding to a young lad on here whose mother is the opposite. Be glad for the love of your family.
My daughter has pulled me through many times, when I thought I could not go on.
Yes, one day the sun will shine through for you as ggreg says. Keep posting here, and we will respond.
Take care.
I am so glad you have such a lovely mom. I have been responding to a young lad on here whose mother is the opposite. Be glad for the love of your family.
My daughter has pulled me through many times, when I thought I could not go on.
Yes, one day the sun will shine through for you as ggreg says. Keep posting here, and we will respond.
Take care.
I'm glad your Mom is in on this now, she is your new ally. Do not worry about whether she's happy or not. Right now it is YOU that she will want to worry about, and that's what Moms are for, to help us out. We can never totally relieve them of the duties of parenthood, and in fact it's a natural state for mothers to be in, to want to help us out. So, not to worry, it's good she knows.
I responded to you when you first posted in the neurology department, and the Moderators moved you over here. I suggested you call the Crisis Intervention phone number on the first page of the phone book. That way you can talk to someone and yet not visit a psychiatrist. I think it's perfectly normal to not want to go to a psych doc and tell all your fears. It is a very scary thing to share this sort of stuff with people. But keep it in the back of your mind, that you can go to a group psychology clinic with the state health department, and they are trained to be nice to you, they don't pressure you to talk about anything really, and in your own good time, you might tell them a few items that will allow them to REALLY help you. Also, they have some medicines that can help you feel WORLDS better.
Something or other has gotten into your mind about your work, about some life circumstances, could be almost anything, and you have been spiraling downward in your mood to where you are flat-out worn-out and in a state of ruin. These things do happen to people. The difference between you and other people who get sick, for this is an illness just as sure as if you had broken your leg, is that you reached out. You reached out to us. And we've been where you are, and we can look back down the path you're on, and steer you to make all this scary mind-game stuff stop. IT CAN STOP. This black hole you've fallen into, you CAN get back out, and the sun WILL shine again, and you will be calm, self-assured, and enjoy things again.
Feel free to tell us more, tell us anytime you are overwhelmed, tell us your thoughts about some of what we've said, we're right here when we find time to visit, and we'll give you some help to get you going again. We care. GG
I responded to you when you first posted in the neurology department, and the Moderators moved you over here. I suggested you call the Crisis Intervention phone number on the first page of the phone book. That way you can talk to someone and yet not visit a psychiatrist. I think it's perfectly normal to not want to go to a psych doc and tell all your fears. It is a very scary thing to share this sort of stuff with people. But keep it in the back of your mind, that you can go to a group psychology clinic with the state health department, and they are trained to be nice to you, they don't pressure you to talk about anything really, and in your own good time, you might tell them a few items that will allow them to REALLY help you. Also, they have some medicines that can help you feel WORLDS better.
Something or other has gotten into your mind about your work, about some life circumstances, could be almost anything, and you have been spiraling downward in your mood to where you are flat-out worn-out and in a state of ruin. These things do happen to people. The difference between you and other people who get sick, for this is an illness just as sure as if you had broken your leg, is that you reached out. You reached out to us. And we've been where you are, and we can look back down the path you're on, and steer you to make all this scary mind-game stuff stop. IT CAN STOP. This black hole you've fallen into, you CAN get back out, and the sun WILL shine again, and you will be calm, self-assured, and enjoy things again.
Feel free to tell us more, tell us anytime you are overwhelmed, tell us your thoughts about some of what we've said, we're right here when we find time to visit, and we'll give you some help to get you going again. We care. GG
great to hear that you now realize that u were doing wrong...well...first of all..you dont need a phcatrist but a phychologist....he´s just like a counsellor...going to him is not bad.....thats wat i feel...
thanks n regards...and a big hugg
bye
thanks n regards...and a big hugg
bye
Thanks to all for your support. I never expected that anyone can reply me because no one understand me before like you guys do so thanks….
The last two days were really hard for me. The day I wrote the post, I really felt to kill myself and I again cut my wrist not so serious but unfortunately my mom saw my scars and got really upset. She got really hurt and I saw pain in her eyes. I know that what I am doing is not good at all but I don’t know why this happening to me, I mean that suddenly I felt so confused and miserable that I just want to end my life but then its all over I felt relaxed and happy but for very short time.
After analyzing my symptoms from different websites I judge that I may have depression from last few years but I already knew my low self confidence and social fears are from childhood.
My mom felt that may be she is not doing enough for me that’s why I am doing such things but that’s not the thing she is the best mother in the world, my life is really comfortable, I recently got best job (says others)just after finishing my masters. But for me its just getting in my nerves . I am doing further studies also(dad’s wish) with job. The other girls doing same things and are happy and satisfied than why can’t I be like others. Maybe I am too selfish. I want to do something else but don’t know what. I even don’t know what am I good at? I am only comfortable when I am sleeping in my dreams..
I am not on any medications and I never go to psychiatrist because I never felt that anything wrong with me. The people who saw me can never recognize that anything wrong with me because I pretend to be happy in front of others and I don’t easily trust others that they care for me.
My mom knew something happening to me she just want that I am happy, she even says 'do what you want to do' but I am like when others can do this why can't I.I don’t want to depress her so I just calm her down “I am okay” because she is too really ill and have lot of tensions of work. I am already gone to so much doctors since I was 3 years old for my asthma( now its better).
Please guide me how I do relax myself without going to doctors…. i know I can cope with all my feelings as I want to live.. , just want someone to listen and understand me…..
I HOPE YOU ALL UNDERSTAND ME AS I AM SEEM REALLY CONFUSING.....
Thanks to support me:)
The last two days were really hard for me. The day I wrote the post, I really felt to kill myself and I again cut my wrist not so serious but unfortunately my mom saw my scars and got really upset. She got really hurt and I saw pain in her eyes. I know that what I am doing is not good at all but I don’t know why this happening to me, I mean that suddenly I felt so confused and miserable that I just want to end my life but then its all over I felt relaxed and happy but for very short time.
After analyzing my symptoms from different websites I judge that I may have depression from last few years but I already knew my low self confidence and social fears are from childhood.
My mom felt that may be she is not doing enough for me that’s why I am doing such things but that’s not the thing she is the best mother in the world, my life is really comfortable, I recently got best job (says others)just after finishing my masters. But for me its just getting in my nerves . I am doing further studies also(dad’s wish) with job. The other girls doing same things and are happy and satisfied than why can’t I be like others. Maybe I am too selfish. I want to do something else but don’t know what. I even don’t know what am I good at? I am only comfortable when I am sleeping in my dreams..
I am not on any medications and I never go to psychiatrist because I never felt that anything wrong with me. The people who saw me can never recognize that anything wrong with me because I pretend to be happy in front of others and I don’t easily trust others that they care for me.
My mom knew something happening to me she just want that I am happy, she even says 'do what you want to do' but I am like when others can do this why can't I.I don’t want to depress her so I just calm her down “I am okay” because she is too really ill and have lot of tensions of work. I am already gone to so much doctors since I was 3 years old for my asthma( now its better).
Please guide me how I do relax myself without going to doctors…. i know I can cope with all my feelings as I want to live.. , just want someone to listen and understand me…..
I HOPE YOU ALL UNDERSTAND ME AS I AM SEEM REALLY CONFUSING.....
Thanks to support me:)
I am going to go a bit farther than the other responders.... if you feel strong urges to suicide, then go to the ER. You can get immediate help there. Yes, you could be admitted to the hospital but its function is good -- safety, time to get you on medication or adjust your medication. Please go if you think you are not safe.
You need a good doctor though and good support structure otherwise the situation can become worse.If your doctor is not helping find one that will listen and go from there.We have plenty of time on this forum to support you if you need to talk.
My daughter suffered with depression throughout her teen years until we found the right Doctor that prescribed the right medicine for her. If she would have given up and committed suicide I would have been destroyed. She is now happy and looking forward to a bright future.
I also struggled with suicidial thoughts when I was young. False pride kept me from getting the help that I needed. I wasted so many years that I could have been happy. Please don't make that mistake. If you want a good life ,you have fight for it. Sometimes that means getting help!
I also struggled with suicidial thoughts when I was young. False pride kept me from getting the help that I needed. I wasted so many years that I could have been happy. Please don't make that mistake. If you want a good life ,you have fight for it. Sometimes that means getting help!
My darling girl, I took an overdose once. I was very depressed. You know what, I am glad I didn't die.
I can see what taking your own life, or trying to, does to those who love you. Can you do that to your mother who loves you?
Here, on this forum, are many, many people who feel just as you do. That is why we are here, to help each other through the really black times. I have been there many times, and I am old now. Many times I have said I cannot go on. I cannot fight this illness. But I find the strength from somewhere.
I do hope you have spoken to a doctor about how you feel and have been prescribed medication. That will help a lot. I would not have survived without anti depressants.
Fight this girl with all your strength. I know that is easy to say. Every day you wish you could die and leave all the pain behind. But we get through it, believe me. You will be surprised how much strength you find. Don't let depression win.
We are all thinking of you, and please write again. I hide myself away when very ill, but sometimes the light does shine through. I amn doing very well on anti depressants. A young girl like you has so much to live for. Don't end your precious life now. You are a good person. Life is sometimes cruel and sometimes kind. We all want you to get through this.
God bless.
I can see what taking your own life, or trying to, does to those who love you. Can you do that to your mother who loves you?
Here, on this forum, are many, many people who feel just as you do. That is why we are here, to help each other through the really black times. I have been there many times, and I am old now. Many times I have said I cannot go on. I cannot fight this illness. But I find the strength from somewhere.
I do hope you have spoken to a doctor about how you feel and have been prescribed medication. That will help a lot. I would not have survived without anti depressants.
Fight this girl with all your strength. I know that is easy to say. Every day you wish you could die and leave all the pain behind. But we get through it, believe me. You will be surprised how much strength you find. Don't let depression win.
We are all thinking of you, and please write again. I hide myself away when very ill, but sometimes the light does shine through. I amn doing very well on anti depressants. A young girl like you has so much to live for. Don't end your precious life now. You are a good person. Life is sometimes cruel and sometimes kind. We all want you to get through this.
God bless.
Suicide-never the answer--self harm is a cry for help.You need to see your doctor right now and get on meds that will help with these thoughts.You are someone and you can be anything you want to be in life--go for it.Never throw in the towel.I have OCD and It will never defeat me no t matter how hard it tries but I take meds and talk to people.If you would like to chat further just send me a message on here and we will talk more.There is help out there.
hey friend....calm down a bit...and listen to me
I dn know if its a mere coincidence but i was or i am in your shows...i too dont have friends...i am a single child...with the same family situations as yours...i also have these thoughts everyday ....but u know wat...suicide is not the solution. read this....
Now lets say that your r an individual...no thats not the case...infact you and me are not just 2 persons...there are 4...listen ...you need to realise that you hav a soul inside your body...your phisical appearance is just the way you look...but your sentiments are wat matters...your souls deserves all the hapiness that you could give to it...when you think of dying...you not only think of killing yourself but your soul also...and if your friends dont respect you...i think they dont deserve the friendship of your soul which iis very beautifull...i can understand you because i am 22 ...i have even been to a phycaterist....its very dificult to cope up with this loneliness...but understand ...if you give up...i give up too...you are my inspiration...if you want that i live...you have to live with me...remember the titanic scene ?
¨you jump, I jump¨ ....now its up to you...either jump...or hold my hand....
a big hug...
if you want...we can connect through facebook...now go and buy yourself a pastry...!!!
I dn know if its a mere coincidence but i was or i am in your shows...i too dont have friends...i am a single child...with the same family situations as yours...i also have these thoughts everyday ....but u know wat...suicide is not the solution. read this....
Now lets say that your r an individual...no thats not the case...infact you and me are not just 2 persons...there are 4...listen ...you need to realise that you hav a soul inside your body...your phisical appearance is just the way you look...but your sentiments are wat matters...your souls deserves all the hapiness that you could give to it...when you think of dying...you not only think of killing yourself but your soul also...and if your friends dont respect you...i think they dont deserve the friendship of your soul which iis very beautifull...i can understand you because i am 22 ...i have even been to a phycaterist....its very dificult to cope up with this loneliness...but understand ...if you give up...i give up too...you are my inspiration...if you want that i live...you have to live with me...remember the titanic scene ?
¨you jump, I jump¨ ....now its up to you...either jump...or hold my hand....
a big hug...
if you want...we can connect through facebook...now go and buy yourself a pastry...!!!
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