what shall i do???

[black1975]

I FEEL ALONE.I DONT KNOW WHO I CAN TALK TO.I DONT EVEN KNOW IF SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME??
I  HAVE A HUSBAND AND TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN.IVE ALWAYS BEEN SO FULL OF ENERGY AND THE LIFE AND SOUL BUT OVER THE LAST FEW MONTHS MY MOOD HAS DARKENED.IVE THOUGHT ABOUT HOW IT STARTED AND ALL I CAN THINK IS MY SLEEP WAS BEING DISTURBED BY MY HUSBANDS SNORING.THEN I WAS HAVING PROBLEMS AT WORK.IVE SINCE TRANSFERED TO ANOTHER SECTION IN MY WORK TO SEE IF THIS WOULD HELP BUT IT SEEMS TO HAVE MADE THINGS WORSE.I MISS ALL MY FRIENDS AND EVERYTHING SEEMS SO ALIEN TO ME EVEN THOUGH ITS BASICALLY THE SAME.THEN I STARTED HAVING RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS WITH MY HUSBAND.THESE HAVE MADE ME GO FROM THE MOST CONFIDANT PERSON IN THE WORLD TO A PARANOID, MOODY AND SCATTY PERSON.WE HAVE SINCE SORTED THINGS OUT BUT ALL I DO IS THINK ABOUT WHAT HE IS UP TO WHEN HE HIS NOT WITH ME. MOST DAYS IM UPSET AND CRY OVER HE SLIGHTEST THING.I JUST FEEL DOWN ALL THE TIME AND I CANT LIFT MYSELF OUT OF IT. I SPEND MY DAYS WONDERING WHAT MY HUSBAND IS UP TO AND CRYING AND MY NIGHTS TRYING TO SLEEP.WHAT SHALL I DO??

[mannowar]

I agree with Mammo. It sounds like you are at the end of a very short rope and I empahize with you. A year ago I left my boyfriend who I had been with for 15 years because I finally woke up and realized that he wasn't who I thought he was and he never will be. In all those years he never held a job for longer than 6 months. We have two little boys and I was tired of taking care of him. Maybe whatever the falling out was about is unforgivable to you.

[mammo]

It sounds like your problems are all centered around whatever happened between you and your husband.  If your not sleeping due to your husband's snoring, get ear plugs or move to the couch. Going to a new department at work can be scarey, but you need to settle in and get down to business and get your mind occupied.  I think you are trying to run away from what is inside you, and this never works.  A man is going to do whatever he wants and no amount of you worrying will stop this.  You have got to have the attitude "if you can get him, you can have him!" If a man is happy and truly loves you, nothing will make him stray, and if he does, you're far better off without him.  I know this is difficult with 2 children, but don't they deserve more, and you also?  I think in order to resolve these issues, I would seek out a psychiatrist and get on an anti-depressant to help you through this time.  It would also give you a non-biased person to teach you how to think differently, and bounce ideas off of.  So many of us have been where you are, and there is light at the end of the tunnel.  I hope things work out well between you and your husband, but if not, remember everything happens for a reason.  One day you will look back and see that it was all for the better.  I don't know your situation, but do feel you need some help to get you back to your old self.  Please get this help so that you can re-claim your life and be the happy person you once were.  Good luck to you.