What do you do when the available help is not ehough?

[Lorri1968]

Stress and depression are killing me.  I have been seen by a psychiatrist and a councelor for over a year now steady.  I've been in and out of counceling for eleven years.  I see a councelor and get ideas on how I could make things better.  When I see the doctor, I get 20 minutes of questioning and yet another prescription.  It never feels like the goal of the medical staff is to actually help.  They give you the amount of time you paid for  and that is pretty much it.  I reached out for help. I have kept every appointment.  I take the pills they give me and I try to do the things they suggest.

I have tried to commit suicide twice ( the last time was eleven years ago).  Last month the thought of ending my life was all I could think about.  During the visit with my councelor, she suggested that I go to the hospital.  She arranged for me to put my children in temporary foster care and I went to the emergency room and then to the Behavioral Medicine unit for five days.  It felt more like punishment than anything else!  Locked down.  They took my stuff.  Isolation. The "groups" were a joke.  I got approximately 20 minutes per day with the doctor.  She seemed to know what she was talking about but obviously had too many patients to be able to spend any amount of time on my problems.  What do you do when the available help is not enough?

[Hensley258]

In my oppinion the avalible help is never enough for anyone that is suffering from Severe Depression.

I have suffered for 17 years now, many of them in remission, but meds fail in time. then relaps follows and then it's back on the medication rollor coaster again to find a combination that will work again.

Over and over this happens. I agree 100% with you that if your condition is Cronic (like mine) that this disease ***** the life blood from your mind, body and soul.

It is a battle we must wage many times in our lives just to find some normal parts in between the swurling Tempist that resides in our heads.

This fact is exactly why over years I have trained myself to be my own Psychiatrist. In the last 17 years I have taught myself more about Cronic Depression than most Psychiatrist even know. I keep myself updated on EVERY new advance and new medication that may offer more hope.

I see my Psychiatrist once a month and I tell him what meds I need to swap or change if my condition is relapsing. He simply nods his head and thinks, "damn, this guy does his research." then writes the script.

There is no cure for Cronic Depression. We may never see a cure in our lifetime.
We have wepaons to fight it with, but they are not perfect and for us relaps is almost always inevidible. It's just a matter of when.

If I get a year or two in remission from the right combination of meds, then I call it a victory and I savor every depression free day because I know the meds will fail again in time.

There is no magic bullet for cronic depression. We just have to savor the quiet times when we get them.

As for talk Therapy......Sheesh! Don't get me started. Yes, I have learned a lot about myself and the people I share my life with in talk therapy, but it does NOTHING to ease the symptoms of my depression and never will.

I wish I had better advice. You just take the good days and savor them. Then you keep searching for hope in any place you can find it.

I'm not going to lie and say something cheery and happy about it. It ***** plain and simple to be cursed with a depressed brain.

You just find something to stay alive for. Your children, spouse, family or anything. Whatever it takes to keep you alive.

I will say it does help a bit if you can accept the disease. I used to resist it and deny it. This only made things worse. It's a Mental Illness (God I hate that word) but it is true just the same.

Stop expecting non-sufferers (even family) to be able to truly understand. They can't! They simply do not have the capacity to understand. No non-sufferer can understand. They think they can, but they really can't ever understand.

It's up to us to stop expecting them to understand. It's not their fault. Just as you and I can not understand how a heart attack feels unless we have actually had one.

You take it with small steps, and accept it. Then you fight it like hell so you can stay alive.

That's my advice.

Regards.

[senia36203]

I have a couple of questions. How often do you see your therapist and your counselor? The reason I ask is because I go to my countys' mental health center and I go once a week for 4 hours.You can go more if need but you have to go at least once. It is called RDP(rehabilitative day program). I know from my  personal experience it seems to help better than going monthly because they constantly do med checks, group therapy but also can talk one on one if necessary. You might want to ask your therapist the next time you see him or her. They should also have a PHP program which is partial hospitalization program. Please let me know if this helps.

[Lorri1968]

Thank you for your suggestions.  Unfortunately my health provider does not have anything like that.  There are groups available, but no babysitting (I have no help with my children).  There is a house available, with counceling, etc but I can't take my kids.  When I recently admitted myself to the hospital behavioral unit, I had to put my kids in respit (sp?) care and just the guilt I had from dropping my kids off with strangers outweighed any help I got in the hospital.

Right now I see my doctor every other week.  He has switched me to another case manager which I have yet to meet.  From what I can gather, the program they are switching me to is more intensive that the former program ( I saw a councelor ever 2 - 4 weeks).  Hopefully I will see some results from this new program.  The problem is that weeks and weeks go by before things actually get started.  When I went to my doctor last, he upped my meds, but he said that he was afraid that I would try an hurt myself by overdosing on the meds.  

[therese83]

Hi

I wish I could think of something to help you.  Talk therapy did nothing for me, completely nothing.  But the right medication works well.

Your kids need you and just by being there with them you are doing a lot.  Do not end your life, your kids will never get over it.

What medication are you on?  People here might be able to share their experiences of these tablets + it might help.

[Lorri1968]

I am on cymbalta 60 mg., Adderall xr 30 mg., and xanax .25 twice daily.

The thought of what it would do to my children is that ONLY thing that keeps me here.  If it weren't for my kids, I would of ended my life a thousand times.

Im 40.  I have been dealing with depression, in varying degrees since the age of 15.  Since I havn't overcome or learned to accept these problems in 25 years of trying, I don't think I ever will.  I have created a lonely, isolated world for myself and my kids.    As if my own issues aren't enough, I have the constant guilt that my problems are going to mess up my perfectly wonderful children.  I don't think there really is any such thing as help, just another pill.

[Lorri1968]

I met my new case manager.  What a joke.  Since I still own my home, there are no services available... Exceptions:  If I get a disconnect notice for utilities, they will pay something toward the bill.  Also, if I loose the house, they will give me a 0% interest loan to help me get moved... to where... the local homeless shelter??  There are groups available, but you can't bring your kids.  No babysitting is available and I can't afford one.

[Cloudwindgate]

I guess im on the begining of this spiral, kinda a little diffrent o sorry now im talking about myself
I sadly dont have any true advice i dont like pills and have never tried therapy YET. Do you have friends or family who could watch your kids while you try to recover i was going to say i believe theres daycare's which will some times let you not have to pay thats what my friends dad did. But you said you didnt like the idea of putting them with people you dont know so im thinking family even ones across the country. Then again you said there the only thing thats keeping you here i know you need to find a way to cope and have the will to get though the hard times.  I'm very sorry that this comment is probaly useless forgive me I'm only 18 and have a habbit of posting whatever i guess i just wanted to help i hope you find an anser. In the truth its up to you a person who is strong and takes care of there kids to find happiness or at least thats what someone told me kinda i added the kid part. sorry i couldn't help be strong and never give in. Just keep swinging taking all the curve balls with the straight.      

[azalea82]

Have you tried a mood stabilizer such as Lamictal or Lithium?  Because your depression started as a teen, this makes it more likely that you could be somewhere on the bipolar spectrum rather than unipolar depression and anxiety.  Dr. Phelps has an educational website about this topic.  You'll find it if you google Phelps + psych education.  Best wishes to you.  

[MysticKatDaddy]

Hi Lori,

Don't lose hope and keep working with you doctors. You are a worthwhile person and your children need you. If your current doctors are not getting you results you might want to get a new doctor. Also, I find that therapy helps best when it is task based. I have a list of things that I want to change in my life and I work with my therapist to come up with plans to help me change them. I didn't find therapy very useful until I used it from this perspective.