suicidal confession. what do I do?

[lynnsee]

my ex bf of 4yrs just told me that he has suicidal thoughts now and then. I can't stop crying. even though we aren't together anymore I still wouldn't ever wanna lose him like that. I wanna tell his mom but he asked me not to. idk what to do. I just keep begging him not to do anything. he isn't saying that he is actually going to. he just keeps saying he wants to give up and take the easy way out of everything. I realized that he's worried me and just wants me to drop it but I can't. idk what to do. I have anxietyand now I feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack. what do I do.  

[lynnsee]

yea I suppose so. we've talked since then and he seems ok. he hasn't brought anything up and he doesn't seem angry with me at all so idk if his mom has talked to him. but at least she knows. I just dont wanna lose him what so ever.

[remar]

I'm so glad you did this. It truly was the right thing to do for your friend. It may very well safe his life. He does sound like he wants help. If he didn't he probably wouldn't have talked to you about his feelings.

[lynnsee]

so I thought about it alllllll day yesterday at work. when I got home my mom just so happened to be watching one of those real life mystery shows. the girl on it just so happened to commit suicide and right before she did she was reaching out to someone just like my ex was reaching out to me. I saw it as a sign and told his mom right then and there. I felt bad and couldn't stop crying but she was grateful and understanding. I haven't heard from him or her since but I hope I did the right thing.

[remar]

I agree with the above poster. You need to talk to his mom. Yes, he might be mad at you for awhile but that's alright. His life is so very important and there's so much help available for him. Please keep us up to date on things.

[remar]

That's alright. I've done this myself many times when I'm tired.

[evewisewoman]

Hello Lynnsee,

My comments to Remar are actually meant for you. Where it says
hello Remar, just picture it saying hello Lynnsee. I'm sorry for the
mix up. I'm a little tired today. Time for a coffee perhaps ?  Eve

[evewisewoman]

Hello Remar,

This comment is actually in response to Lynnsee's post. Sorry for
the mix up. I'm a little tired today.  Eve

[evewisewoman]

Hello Remar,

You would not be betraying your ex boyfriend if you told his mother about
the fact that he feels suicidal. If someone reveals to you that they feel
suicidal now and then, you need to act on this. You said you intend to
tell his mother very soon. Does this family live nearby ? If possible and
you feel comfortable enough to do this, I would talk to his mother in person
about this rather than over the telephone. Don't delay. Your boyfriend is
suffering through a depression. When you're in a depression, you're not
thinking normally. You're often paranoid and suspicious of other people.
By telling his mother, you're probably saving his life. How do I know all
this ? Let's just say, I know because I went through a period of depression myself many years ago and feelings of being suicidal are often part of
depression. I would also imagine that once you tell his mother about her
son's suicidal feelings, you will feel better and the anxiety you feel right
now will subside. I know this because when I was going through my
depression those many years ago, I also had a few panic attacks myself.
Tell his mother and the sooner the better. You will feel better and your
ex boyfriend will get the help he needs. You're not betraying you ex
boyfriend, you're actually helping him.  I wish you strength.  Eve

[lynnsee]

he said he's been feeling this way since before we even got together years ago. he said that the fact that he was able to talk to me and that I was so concerned helped alot. I do intend on telling his mom very soon. but I feel like if I betray him and say something to her he's just gonna have more reason to wanna do something.

[remar]

If he told you about his thoughts then he is most likely reaching out for help. I highly recommend you talk to his mom about this so she can get him the help he needs. He might get mad at you but it's so worth it if it keeps him from ending his life. There's so much he can do about his depression. Therapy, medication, family and friends support.