feeling helpless

[myhappiness51]

Hi There I am new to this site and just having a bad day and wanted to talk to someone, I have depression/anxiety am seeing a Psychiatrist and Psychologist, have had a few weeks here and there where I come good only for it to return with vengeance.  I get so scared this is me for the rest of my life, everything is different now, my life feels so enclosed in myself and my medication, it is always, I wonder how I am going to feel tomorrow when my husband and kids are at work and I am home by myself, I can remember loving those days to myself but now dread them.  This is about my 4th bout of depression, they usually stay for about 2 years and go and I am fine, this time I have had it for about 3 years and still struggling, I am going through menopause as well which doesn't help, I look at my friends and family and they struggle in different ways but are virtually happy with their lives, mine is different, I long for those carefree days where you get up and don't have to think about how you feel or can you cope with things today.  Sorry I sound really down but just need to say it to someone, my husband can't cope with me talking about it anymore.  Please reply if you can, I would love to hear from someone.

[4Maddie44]

Hi, So glad you had a holiday.  I have recently returned from Turkey where my son got married on  the beach.  A beautiful occasion.  

Coming back from a nice holiday is enough to give anyone the blues.  In my case the weather was so lovely in Turkey, and it is so cold and wet in the UK.  The sun didn't even shine for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee celebrations.  

I was in a psychiatric hospital for a few weeks once.  I don't like the sound of you being so far from home.  Why does psychiatrist feel you need to go into clinic to change your meds?  What are you doing about that?  You know, you don't have to, if you don't want to.  Ask him to change your meds without being admitted to a clinic.  

I can understand how you must be feeling.  

Let me know how you get on please.

[myhappiness51]

Hi there how are you going, I haven't been feeling very good lately, went to Bali for 2 weeks and had a great time didn't feel depressed once, got back home and have deteriorated quite a bit, even thinking of going into a clinic, I am still on the same medication and my Psychiatrist said he would have to put me into a clinic to take me off them and start afresh, I am so scared to go into a clinic it would be 2 hours from home and just the thought of going in to a Psych Hosp. scares me, I just can't stop worrying about it.

[Elmijack15]

You will feel better again, you'te just going thru a rough time and menopause doesn't help, maybe another combo will work. Go back to your doctor don't give up!!

[myhappiness51]

Hi there,

Thank you for your lovely comments, I just don't know if it is me or another antidepressant will work, I have tried many.   My son went off to Bali surfing today I am so happy for him, and he is so excited I want to be able to feel that way again.  

[4Maddie44]

Hello, I am an old lady who has had depression for many years.  You must fin d an anti-depressant that helps you, and you will feel different.

I have been on many, and am pretty stable at the moment.

I live alone, with my cat, and have family quite near.  It is hard, I know, but you must think of your family, and keep going for them.  So very hard, I know.  It is such a shame you cannot talk to your husband about this.  It would help so much.  I think people who have not had depression, do not realise what it feels like.

Hang on in there my dear.  All the people here care about you.  Just write to us when you are feeling low and we will write back so you know someone is listening to you.

This site has helped me a lot.  I am so grateful for the people here.

Take care, and God bless.

[myhappiness51]

My depression isn't where I am really tired and want to stay in bed, I feel really scared and want people around me all the time to distract me from my feeling, i am on Efexor and Valdoxan, just started the Valdoxan 3 months ago,I hardly took the Ativan, but my psychologist said I should take it when I am distressed.  I am so scared and worried I have had enough and don't know if I will every feel better again.

[Elmijack15]

One more question why are you thinking about your husband dieing? Is he sick? That's really not going to help your mental state if you're worrying about something that may not happen. My mom is 72 years old and my dad at 68 just 3 years ago this May passes away. They were together for 55 years and she went thru a very difficult time, she's still on anti depressants and some days are hard for her, but she has her kids and grandkids and she's making it, one day at a time and is doing much better. God doesn't give you more than you can handle. Don't think about him dieing, think about today and how blessed you are. Write me anytime.

[Elmijack15]

How long have you been on your current anti depressants? Sounds like they'te not working. Can the Ativan be causing more depression? I really think you need to let your psychiatrist know how you're feeling. Sorry you'te feeling this way, I know when I've gone thru depression I don't want to do anything, talk to anybody and just feel mad all the time. Years ago I was on Lexapro which helped but 6 weeks ago I was so down I couldn't stand it and my poor husband was getting the majority of my bad moods. I just started Cymbalta and it's made a big difference. I'm also starting to go thru the first stages of menopause which doesn't help, ask your gynecologist maybe he/she has some ideas. Hope you feel better real soon. Hang in there!

[myhappiness51]

I have already tried a few antidepressants about 5 or 6, I am on 2 at the moment plus take Ativan (a benzo) when I get really teary.  I just had a really good 3 weeks and thought wow I think I am getting better then It just comes over me.  I worry about the future when my husband dies and I am by myself what am I going to do.  

[ijustwanttobehappyagain]

ok thnx :) its nice knowing that i have someone to talk to

[myhappiness51]

It won't last for ever, see a psychologist and they can tell you why it is happening and ways to deal with it, years ago my anxiety was panic attacks and i didn't want to go anywhere by myself, but now I think it is more depression, I keep looking at people and wishing I was able to do the things they can do I feel like I don't enjoy things like I used to.  Just write if you need to talk again

[Anneinside]

It is great that you are seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist. However, if you are on an antidepressant, it doesn't seem to be working for you. The dosage is too small or it isn't right drug for you. Two thirds of the people who try an antidepressant don't respond to it and need to try a different one. That's just the way it is. You want a better life and right now the right medication is probably what you need. Call your psychiatrist.

[ijustwanttobehappyagain]

hey, i know how you feel im in the same situation and i have to deal with this at age 13... I've been told by my family that it wont last forever, i hope they're right. What kind of anxiety do you have? (I have social anxiety) if you need to vent im here for you :)