Aa
i surrender
Im here sit and cursing this life im into.Its time to give up.What did happened after all my attempts to recover from what i really don't have a idea what is it,i know its mind's ill,but i can not go on anymore.I left my exams,my university,and im closed at home bcoz of agoraphobia,my fiance left me,my family are tired from me so im going.
Im dyeing better than gone insane,i cant continue seeing my life destroying anymore.Enough is ENOUGH
Thank you because only here i found support.Goodbye
Im dyeing better than gone insane,i cant continue seeing my life destroying anymore.Enough is ENOUGH
Thank you because only here i found support.Goodbye
Armira lives in Kosovo and the help there is not like it is for us in the USA and the UK. That does make a difference. Have you read her previous posts? They will help you understand.
I am new to this website, but I am not new to understanding exactly how you are feeling. I have been there many times: feeling hopeless, totally rejected, like there is nothing left to live for, like nothing will ever be better and that it has always been bad. I know there is so much pain you just want to end it all. I know you think it is a 'rational' decision to take your life--not just a depressed decision. "At LEAST I can control my own death when I can't control anything else in my life, which is totally ruined! I am also so angry at all these people who reject me and don't even care enough to understand what I am going through! I would like to make them feel the pain I feel, which they only add to! Why WOULD? I want to keep living when I have no one and I feel like no one." PLEASE, please, please! Wait three days-you CAN do that. Wait three days and see how you feel. You can ALWAYS kill yourself. Once you kill yourself you can't reconsider THAT decision. Also-you might want to consider how much PAIN YOU may feel and what if you botch it up and you are just in a coma, or brain-damaged or all the other things that can go wrong. You will still be in control of this! Also-some of the people I may want to hurt by killing myself would probably be satisfied. Then they could say, "See-I told you she was crazy! This just proves it!" And other's may say "You're right! Otherwise she couldn't have done something like this."
If you can go to this website: Psych Central (type in google) and once there type in "Suicide: read this first" It has helped me.
I could write more, but I don't want to overwhelm you. Just remember this:
The people who reject and shame you are WRONG! Maybe THEY can't handle what YOU have been handling and they don't know how to be compassionate and loving. YOU ARE STRONG to have gotten this far. What you think and feel is coming from your mental illness you say you have or whatever it is. THERE IS HELP AND THERE IS HOPE!!! You DESERVE to live. You DESERVE to be loved. You ARE WORTHY. You CAN make it through this. There are people, medications, therapies, everyday practices you can do for yourself to turn this around if you will give it some time! I know it feels like it's been forever, but you haven't tried everything!! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! I see you and I love you exactly the way you are. I am just like you with the same kind of problems--many of us on here are. Some even worse if you can believe that. But YOU are here now for a reason! All this can work out in a way that you will understand only later. PLEASE FOR ALL OF US HERE who know exactly how you feel-wait! REACH out for help and support where ever you can find it: your doctor, call 911, call the suicide help line ( 1-800-273-8255), a person of faith at a church, anyone you know including a stranger...before you do anything. You still have time to do later what you are thinking of now. But if you do it now-you can't take it back. I LOVE YOU-as one fellow sufferer to another-YOU are IMPORTANT TO ME. Don't let this "BLACK DOG OF DEPRESSION" win!! IT IS NOT YOU OR WHO YOU ARE! You are MORE than your depression; you are MORE than your problems; you are MORE than those other's opinions; YOU are more than your 'mistakes' or 'failures!' I will be praying for you and I am thanking the God I know, right now, for your life and eventual healing! Carol (nativeco on here) Thank you, Armira, for listening to me. I need you!
If you can go to this website: Psych Central (type in google) and once there type in "Suicide: read this first" It has helped me.
I could write more, but I don't want to overwhelm you. Just remember this:
The people who reject and shame you are WRONG! Maybe THEY can't handle what YOU have been handling and they don't know how to be compassionate and loving. YOU ARE STRONG to have gotten this far. What you think and feel is coming from your mental illness you say you have or whatever it is. THERE IS HELP AND THERE IS HOPE!!! You DESERVE to live. You DESERVE to be loved. You ARE WORTHY. You CAN make it through this. There are people, medications, therapies, everyday practices you can do for yourself to turn this around if you will give it some time! I know it feels like it's been forever, but you haven't tried everything!! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! I see you and I love you exactly the way you are. I am just like you with the same kind of problems--many of us on here are. Some even worse if you can believe that. But YOU are here now for a reason! All this can work out in a way that you will understand only later. PLEASE FOR ALL OF US HERE who know exactly how you feel-wait! REACH out for help and support where ever you can find it: your doctor, call 911, call the suicide help line ( 1-800-273-8255), a person of faith at a church, anyone you know including a stranger...before you do anything. You still have time to do later what you are thinking of now. But if you do it now-you can't take it back. I LOVE YOU-as one fellow sufferer to another-YOU are IMPORTANT TO ME. Don't let this "BLACK DOG OF DEPRESSION" win!! IT IS NOT YOU OR WHO YOU ARE! You are MORE than your depression; you are MORE than your problems; you are MORE than those other's opinions; YOU are more than your 'mistakes' or 'failures!' I will be praying for you and I am thanking the God I know, right now, for your life and eventual healing! Carol (nativeco on here) Thank you, Armira, for listening to me. I need you!
Life...you can click on her username and search her prior posts, journals, etc.
Armira...remember what we dicussed in a PM recently. Did you pursue that at all? I really think you should. I think you need a second opinion from another psychiatrist, or get your present one to listen to your concerns about the meds not working and you needing a change.
You have to do something, dear.
Armira...remember what we dicussed in a PM recently. Did you pursue that at all? I really think you should. I think you need a second opinion from another psychiatrist, or get your present one to listen to your concerns about the meds not working and you needing a change.
You have to do something, dear.
Hi Armira, im new here and not heard of your lifes story. Would you mind sharing it with me? If i told you about mine, youd have to sit down and hang on to your hat!!!
dave
dave
hello, haven't heard from you for a while. Glad to see you back, but so sorry you are no better.
Oh dear, so you didn't sit your exams and have left university. I am so, so sorry. You have been so poorly for a long time. Are you still taking your medication? I hope so.
You say you are going. Where is it you are going? Not to take your own life I hope. I thought we had all talked you out of that. You still sound so very down. Remember we said take your medication, and think of your mother. Hang on in there. We are all still here for you.
I have been low lately, but I continue to take my anti-depressants, and I have picked up again. Just a matter of hanging on in there. Remember what Nursegirl told you. You must take your medication. You will never feel better unless you do. If you have found it is not working for you, you must go back to the doctor. I know you have little faith in him, but he is really the only one who can adjust the medication we rely on our anti-depressant medication to get us through. Without it we would not cope.
Although we on here, all have depression, we do take our medication. You have come on here so many times and said you cannot go on, etc, but are you doing what your doctor told you? We have given you so much advise about helping yourself through tis. Please, please do as we say.
Oh dear, so you didn't sit your exams and have left university. I am so, so sorry. You have been so poorly for a long time. Are you still taking your medication? I hope so.
You say you are going. Where is it you are going? Not to take your own life I hope. I thought we had all talked you out of that. You still sound so very down. Remember we said take your medication, and think of your mother. Hang on in there. We are all still here for you.
I have been low lately, but I continue to take my anti-depressants, and I have picked up again. Just a matter of hanging on in there. Remember what Nursegirl told you. You must take your medication. You will never feel better unless you do. If you have found it is not working for you, you must go back to the doctor. I know you have little faith in him, but he is really the only one who can adjust the medication we rely on our anti-depressant medication to get us through. Without it we would not cope.
Although we on here, all have depression, we do take our medication. You have come on here so many times and said you cannot go on, etc, but are you doing what your doctor told you? We have given you so much advise about helping yourself through tis. Please, please do as we say.
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