You are obviously depressed, along with some anger issues. Consult with a psychiatrist who can bets determine what medication is best for you, and help you work with your anger issues. I've went thru this after losing a son and grandson, I was either very angry, or crying (mood swings). You have been very hurt, and are angry over your losses (normal). We sometimes lash out at those closest to us, but it's not your fault. Most of us need help at some point in our lives, don't hesitate to get it so that you can get your life back. See a psychiatrist as this will help you get thru this difficult time
I agree with mammo. It sounds like you are suffering from depression. However, talk therapy may be your best first approach to overcoming what you are feeling. Bereavement after the loses you've had is completely normal and part of the grieving process. However, bereavement can also lead to depression. There is no set time limit to bereavement; however, if your feelings have not been getting better and have lasted for a long time, it may have turned into depression. It would be helpful for you to have someone you can talk to about what you are going through and the loses you have suffered. You and your therapist can also speak about the possibility of taking an antidepressant, but in your case I think talk therapy will be very effective.
All the best..