The tail wagging is not necessarily a friendly but maybe just excitement. You said it yourself and recognize the fact she wants to get "to" the cat. Not safe by any means. Although you may be on top of the situation, I would really hesitate putting a family member in charge while you are not there! You say you have had the kitten for a few weeks. I would think, by now, the dog should not still be acting this excited/aggressive. Hate to say it, agree with ginger, this just may not be the best of households for these two to co-habitate. You seem to be really attached to this sweet kitty but sometimes you just have to step outside the situation and weigh the pros and cons.
I agree, do not leave them unattended.
I understand what you are saying. These two animals will not be left alone together, only with supervision. Unless something drastically changes over time and Rascal calms down, which is of course what I truly hope for. Until then I will keep giving them time together heavily supervised and my brother has offered to babysit Mia the kitten in his room when I am gone. It is unfortunate yet understandable that this is how they were bred and that they can't help it. I know that she is a pretty tame dog so I do hope that maybe she can be encouraged to try and change for me over time.
I would still like to hear any advice and I will be updating this thread with progress as time goes on.. I feel a lot better talking to everyone here who knows much more than I do on this topic.
I hate to be negative and unhelpful because I can see what a fix you're in and would dearly love to be some help. But your Rat Terrier may be completely unable to help it. I don't even see this as a behavior problem.This is what they are bred for....catching little things and shaking them to death. PLEASE do not leave them in the same room together, unsupervised or there could well be a tragedy. If and when you go out, the kitten will have to be shut in an upstairs room with litter box, food and water, until you get back.
This might sound awful, but it is better than something bad happening.
Work on the routine you're doing because it may well work, if you are very careful and watchful. But do NOT leave them alone together.
I once had a Jack Russell, who loved to chase things outside. (rabbits etc) I knew why. He wanted to catch them, kill them, and eat them. That was his nature. When he was in this mood he looked very happy, very alert, making quite sweet noises, wagging his tail all over the place. That was excitement, not friendliness. Please be careful.
Thank you guys for the advice!
It -seems- like a playful nip, but I'm not good enough to know that for sure and I worry. We introduce them under supervision with the dog on a leash and when we are through for the day the cat comes safely back to my room. The best I can do is have my 15 year old brother try to look after her when I am not home, sometimes I am gone for days at a time. I know terriers are usually like that, but mine is... to be blunt a little on the heavy side and very laid back. Not to mention as I've said she hasn't had trouble before, once she stayed during vacation with a dogsitter and ended up cuddling up to the other dogs, even way smaller ones.
Update for the day:
Today we made a little progress at the least. No real nipping today, and less barking/growling. I had Rascal the dog sitting and staying still on the leash. Then I brought a crate with Mia that cat and had her sitting and staying with the crate near her. Then I opened it and let the cat venture out while the dog was still calmly sitting. Occasionally Rascal got up to follow her (she was being held on a leash incase we needed to pull her back), and when she would get too rowdy we'd pull her back and try sit/stay again. This worked some of the time but not all of the time because she really REALLY wants to get to the cat.
However I noticed something that I'd like some input on if anyone can help me out. Rascal's tail is wagging a lot when shes trying to get to the cat, even when shes barking/growling. And the barking is higher pitched like she does when she meets company (and then she promptly wants the company to pet her so its not vicious). Is this a sign that the behavior is not totally aggressive? Maybe playful and curious or a mixture of some emotions?
This may be a tough nut to crack if at all.
Most Terriers have a hunting instinct by nature. I would not leave them unsupervised either. Try to keep the kitten in one room with a baby gate up.
That may or may not work if the dog can get over the gate. Is your dog obedience trained at all like to Sit, Down, Stay? If so, try keeping the dog on lead and when the kitten is around. stay the dog and if it does, with the kitten around, reward the dog. If you see the dog staring at the cat, hackles up, etc, give a firm command like "No Kitty". If the dog obeys, reward. We used to have to deal with these issues with some of the Greyhounds, who have strong prey drives. Actually, it was usually the cat running that would lead to a chase. Our Grey was like that and we had 4 cats here. I had a baby gate up for a long time so the cats could leave the room. As time went by, lots of No Kitty! They cohabitated and lived peacefully together. However, there were some dogs that would just not give up and had to be labeled "Not cat safe". All that being said, you can try some of these suggestions but do not leave them unsupervised. Sorry, but if the dog just will not accept the cat, you might want to consider rehoming it as it would not be fair for the kitten to have to live like that.
Good luck
Does your dog nip with the intention to hurt the cat, or is it more of a playful nip? Does the cat have places where she can jump to and the dog can't reach, such as a cat tree? I would make sure the dog or cat is in a crate while you are gone, and try to keep an eye on them while you are home, but maybe wait and see what happens between the two of them. Maybe a scratch on the nose is what the dog needs to learn to back off. As long as the cat can get away from the dog, and you can tell the dog isn't trying to actually kill the cat, I would give it more time.