March 31, 2010, I put my best friend of the last 11 years, Max to sleep. He hadn't been eating for 2 days, seemed just lethargic and not his playful self. Took him to the vet, and he had a football size tumor on his spleen. Max was also diagnosed with cushing's disease 2 years ago, but a mild case. The vet said surgery was an option, but did not recommend it. I heartbrokenly made the decision to let him go that day. By far the hardest decision I have yet to have to make, and I am a seasoned ER nurse---but this one just shattered my heart. I haven't slept since then. Can't eat. Can't stop crying. I did some research tonight online and it said 2/3 of the spleen tumors in dogs are malignant, but the ones that aren't can be removed and the dog can live a good life providing post-op complications do not occur. Given Max's age and cushings, the vet couldn't give a good surgical prognosis. But since i found out that information, I am now just in incredible pain, thinking "i just killed my dog. i took him to soon. what if it was benign?" Can't seem to stop the overwhelming guilt I am feeling. Just needed to get this out, because right now, I'm just torn to shreds over it.