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IVF Nightmare-octomom backlash
I am a self-pay patiend who had IVF a few weeks ago. Right before the transfer there was a meetig about the number of embryos to be transferred. I had previously said I wanted to transfer 3 and repeated this wish during the meeting. To my surprise the doctor refused and said they would only transfer 2. If I didnt agree then the procedure would be canceled. I wolud still have to pay. At no time before that was I ever told how many I could transfer. I thought the final decision would be up to me but I had no say in the matter. Now I'm left with $10,000+ doctors bill and no pregnancy. I am very upset. The US doesnt have a limit on the number to be transferred. Plus I was paying for everything myself. All of this happened in the middle of the whole 'octomom' thing. The doctor kept mentioning her and really didnt listen to anything I was saying.
Shouldn't the final decision have been mine? Do I have an recourse?
Shouldn't the final decision have been mine? Do I have an recourse?
And goodluck to you in the future, I hope you find a good doctor who understands and you get to have the last say-so in your care. God bless you and good luck.************BABY DUST FOR YOU!!!!!!**************.
I'am so sorry to hear that happened to you, and your right I believe it is your decision and nobody elses especially when your paying for it! I knew that ther was going to be a lot **** getting started after nadya had her babies making it hard for other women who want children. NOT SAYING SHE'S A BAD PERSON OR ANYTHING, but its just gonna be another problem added on to the one we already have and thats TTC!! Most of these doctors dont give a goddamn about us, most of them have kids so why do they care if we conceive or not. You could barely find one thats compassionate or really feeling your pain unless there in your situation then they would know what your going threw!! AND THATS MY TAKE ON THAT!!!!
I appreciate your response and I wasn't attacking you. I'm not sure if your comment about me thanking Nadya is supposed to be sarcastic or something, but I have nothing to thank her for. If the doctor was focused on me and not constantly talking about that case and thse doctors, my situation would have been different. So whether you were being sarcastic or serious-that was very hurtful.
Wanting to transfer 3 embryos and being forced to only transfer 2 (which did not lead to a pregnancy) is very different form transferring a lot of embryos that lead to 8 babies. At any rate this should have been told to me before I paid my money, went through the injections, and retrieval. Not right before the were to go back in. The decision made for me (not by me) was not based on any protocols or guidelines. It was based on that doctor's personal opinion. There are other doctors in the practice that I have subsequently spoken with and they said tha the final decision should have been mine to make, since I only anted to transfer 3. That the doctor should have offered advice and conseling, not a mandate.
I'm glad you had the forsight to ask before hand. I had asked beforehand as well and had also vocalized what I wanted. It wasnt until this case, that it became an issue.
Wanting to transfer 3 embryos and being forced to only transfer 2 (which did not lead to a pregnancy) is very different form transferring a lot of embryos that lead to 8 babies. At any rate this should have been told to me before I paid my money, went through the injections, and retrieval. Not right before the were to go back in. The decision made for me (not by me) was not based on any protocols or guidelines. It was based on that doctor's personal opinion. There are other doctors in the practice that I have subsequently spoken with and they said tha the final decision should have been mine to make, since I only anted to transfer 3. That the doctor should have offered advice and conseling, not a mandate.
I'm glad you had the forsight to ask before hand. I had asked beforehand as well and had also vocalized what I wanted. It wasnt until this case, that it became an issue.
It was a question that I asked, so that's why my doctor told me.
The number of babies that are placed back into the uterus should always be based on standards, protocols and guidelines and IMHO, not on the patients' desire (hence the situation with Nadya who was able to dictate to her doctors' what she wanted not what was best for all involved). It sounds like you should be more supportive of Nadya instead of blaming her as what she had is what you want.
I wasn't implying that you should run off and do another procedure right now, but if you aren't happy with your doctor that you should find another one. In most states, consultations are free.
I was just trying to be helpful.
The number of babies that are placed back into the uterus should always be based on standards, protocols and guidelines and IMHO, not on the patients' desire (hence the situation with Nadya who was able to dictate to her doctors' what she wanted not what was best for all involved). It sounds like you should be more supportive of Nadya instead of blaming her as what she had is what you want.
I wasn't implying that you should run off and do another procedure right now, but if you aren't happy with your doctor that you should find another one. In most states, consultations are free.
I was just trying to be helpful.
You are lucky that your doctor told you before hand. This had nothing to do with standards and protocol-it was that doctors decision colored by the whole octomom thing. Since then i have spoken to another doctor in the practice who said the decision should have been mine. In my opinion it really has nothing to do with 'trust' its a little more black and white than that. Either the decision is mine or its not. Nothing I was told before led me to believe that I wouldn't have options with my body, money, or embryos.
I would have that luxury if I wasn't self pay. Right now I do not have the financial option of just finding another doctor.
I would have that luxury if I wasn't self pay. Right now I do not have the financial option of just finding another doctor.
I am sorry for your frustration. In my IVF experience, the doctor told me from the start that the ultimate decision would be his based on guidelines and standard protocol so I don't have much advice to offer.
I do think that we need to find doctors who we can put our trust in and then put our trust in them. If you aren't happy with your doctor, all I can offer is to try to find another.
Again, I am sorry for your frustration and your loss.
I do think that we need to find doctors who we can put our trust in and then put our trust in them. If you aren't happy with your doctor, all I can offer is to try to find another.
Again, I am sorry for your frustration and your loss.
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