Love and Jealousy

[maddie1994]

I've been trying to conceive since my miscarriage/d&c, with of course with my honey. Now my sis just got pregnant and I'm going through alot of different feelings. How do I deal with it?

[Kricket212]

I would have done the same thing with the pic. I am very sensitive too.  On Christmas I had a cousin announce that she was 10 weeks pregant....and at the time I thought I also still was.  I found out today I am miscarrying & just devasted.

Maddie1994- I am sorry you had to have a d/c. I will have one on tuesday.  Have you done IVF since the procedure?  Is it difficult to concieve after?

[GiGiGiGi]

Ohhhh, man, I SO know what you are going through.  We have been TTC for 3 years now, including one year with the help of a RE.  We have had some knock em down, drag em out fights about this kind of stuff.  I will admit that I am pretty sensitive, but not nearly as bas as I used to be.  

Everyone we know who has been trying has been successful, some people twice, since we have started TTC.

DH and I have come up with a new saying that seems to help.  When something like this comes up, one of us will say "Its like water off a duck's back" meaning that I am waterproof, and that it cant get to me.  I know it sounds a little silly, but it sure is nice when dh and i are out in public and bump into pregnant friends or whatever, and he leans over and whispers "Water off a duck's back, babe", and gives me a squeeze.  I have learned to compartmentalize this stuff - i will not say that it doesnt hurt, but it hurts less now - I think I'm getting used to it.

Altho.... we received a photo Xmas card from friends of ours who live in DC.  They got married 3 months after us.  And guess what - there's a lovely picture of husband and wife, with wife about 8 months pregnant.  Guess what i did?  Ripped it up and threw it out before DH saw it.  Not very mature but highly therapeutic!

I also pray for the day when this all ends for us.  the time is coming when some hard decisions need to be made.

[Cubanmulatta]

Hey I don't stand how you feel.  I know its wrong but it's annoying to having to hear people go on and on about their pregnancy when you haven't had the experience yet to even relate. My dh and have been married for 5 years and still ttc. One of my dh's friend is expecting a baby from his new wife of 2 years.  The first time I heard about it, I was happy but at the same time I wasn't.  The worse part is that she's like "oh and we weren't even trying." As if that's something you want to hear.  Then she turns around and ask when are we going to have kids and I said soon and changed the subject.  After that I just didn't want to be around her, not that she's a bad person.  Well, on christmas eve, my dh decides to want to stop by their house to say hello.  I didn't want to go especially since I had just gotten a BFN that same day.  But my dh insisted so I went.  As soon as we got there, of course she's their with her belly starting to show.  My dh compliments her on how cute she looks with her belly (which she did).  Okay you think that was enough? He tries to strike up a conversation by asking her about her food cravings since she was mentioning it.  That was the last thing I wanted to hear especially in the mood I was in.  It's one thing to make a compliment about her belly but then start asking about food cravings as if there weren't anything else to talk about?When we got home, I got so angry that I went off on him for that.  He tells me that he was only trying to be nice. We got into a huge arguement over it that night and I said some mean things to him.  On christmas day we did not speak to each other.  The next day we finally spoke.  I apologized for what we said to each other.  We spoke about exactly how I felt and we even cried together about my BFN.  I pray for the day this journey will end because I can't stand being like this.

[Princess_Crankypants]

PS I should say that a 'friend' is pregnant for the second time and I am SOOOOO over hearing about it! She knows we are trying to have a baby and she hijacks my facebook threads with stories about her child and pregnancy and makes comments like 'Christmas is all about kids, before I had children I had no idea that kids would make it so special etc etc etc.' She actually got angry with me when I cancelled an appointment with her because I'd got some bad news from the Doctor and couldn't face an afternoon with a 1 year old and a pregnant friend. I know this sounds ungrateful and bitchy, and maybe I am, but a little diplomacy goes a long way. I'm happy she can get pregnant easily (shes my age), I just don't want to hear about it 24/7. My life will go on without children (if thats the way it turns out) - but I am going to try my hardest to have a little person! Sorry - did I hijack your post! ;-)

[Princess_Crankypants]

I have two beautiful nephews and a gorgeous niece and my husband has 2 nieces and 2 nephews and we have a special bond with all of them. Other women in my family seem to easily become pregnant and I wish them well. Of course, I'd like to be fat and pregnant as well - but I try to really enjoy the little people in my life - for selfish reasons - if we don't have children of our own at least we get to be close to children and watch them grow up. I know its not the same, and I am tearing up as I write this, but I am particularly close to my niece. She has cystic fibrosis and shes nearly 3 and my goodness that girl is full of life. She lives her life and marches out as if the world is bending to her will, I try to live my life like that, and try not to focus on me not being able to have a baby, but that I am blessed to be surrounded by children. And I keep all my bits crossed that one day I'll be lucky enough to have my own.  

[misslollipop]

I know the feeling and yes it's hard thinking why not me but it will happen to us when it's time, i've been trying for over 1.5 yrs and no luck and my sister is now 19 weeks pregnant, but i'm happy for her but for unfortunaly it's going to take time. It gets easier belive me. and good luck