Sexual Problems?

Question

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for a year..... My periods were never regular... about 35-40 days or so..... We have gone to see the urologist and he has to get his labs drawn to test his blood levels and his sperm count..... The other problem is he is having a hard time maintaining an erection..... And sometimes , even getting one can be a little difficult.... The doctor has given him things to take but nothing seems to help..... I think he is having anxiety as well...... My friends just dont seem to understand how upsetting it really is to take a test every month and hope that it is positive....but every month we do and its negative..... They think it is so easy to put it in the back of your mind when you are having sex.... But its not.... Has anyone elses husband experienced this? He is 30 years old and I feel horrible that this is happening to him..... I dont know what I can do... But sometimes it hard to be supportive because I get so frustrated..... I dont mean to but it just gets hard sometimes.... Any similiar experiences? Hopefully, Im not the only one......

This discussion is related to no semen/white blood cells.

bam1014 · Answer

Pre-Seed is a sperm friendly lubricant, made with TTC in mind.  I have found that I lack enough CM, so it really helps DH stay interested longer.  It was something new for us to try and we got a giggle out of it :)  You can order it on the internet or if you google their website you can find local stores that sell it.  I found a local store and it was of the "adult" type.  DH couldn't stop laughing when I told him about the condoms hanging off of the wall - LOL.

I like the idea of the hotel, I'll have to suggest that :)

Helen72 · Answer

Clomid works well with IUI and your dh will not have to perform at home.  He will just have to provide a sample for your RE which will be washed and all of the sample will be placed near your cervex, where sperm supposed to go.  If it makes life easier for your dh, look into IUI.

Juana824 · Answer

Good point Bam1014, We do tend to overlook our men when ttc...we even sometimes have the nerve to get upset with them when they don't perform...I know its not intentional, its out of frustration because we are only thining of what we want so badly...

I have a question? What is Pre-seed?

My Dh was afraid that somebody would hear him..he didn't want to watch the movies provided because he said that didn't turn him on...I felt really bad for him...We went so far as to rent a hotel room near the doctor's office so that we could get the sample back in time...

bam1014 · Answer

I feel for you, I really do.  After we resolved the blood pressure meds, there eventually came a time when he was having problems again. It did turn out that it was the stress and the expectation to perform at a given time.  We sometimes lose sight of being sympathetic to what we put our men through as it's natural to expect them to want to perform anytime we want them to.

My DH and I right now are battling over his s/a sample.  He's scared to death to do at a the dr's office and we don't live close enough to get it there in time, for him to do it at home.

You can always try trying something new to spice things up.  We started using Pre-Seed at that helped quite a bit!

Juana824 · Answer

That sure is the truth...My husband had that issue once..in fact, he couldn't produce a sample at the doctor's office, he had to do it at home and drive the sample back within one hour...It is a mental thing, he just needs to relax...Good luck to you both!

hopingforbaby79 · Answer

No, he isnt on nay meds for anything.... I am hoping its just the stress of knowing he has to perform and nothing else......  He has to go give three samples at the end of this month... I hope it comes out ok...  I am a little afraid to maybe start clomid because then he will really have to perform on certain days and what happens then if he cant..... It doesnt happen all the time.........I guess its just hard for me to understand because I always think that a man should be up and ready no matter what is going on ...... craziness on my part, I know..... Helen, its true.... nothing kills the mood like time intercourse and the pressure to perform.

Helen72 · Answer

I am so sorry this is happening to you and dh; ttc can put such a strain on a relationship!  If your dh can produce a sample in a cup perhaps you should try IUI.  Did your RE suggested it yet?  First, it dramatically increases your chances of conceiving (especially if you combine it with clomid or injectables).  Second, you will be able to separate sex and ttc making your sex life stress free.  Nothing kills romance like timed intercourse and the pressure on a man to perform.
I hope this helps...
Good luck!!

Juana824 · Answer

I am so sorry you are going through this. Do you think that the stress of trying to conceive is interfering with him maintaining an erection? Have you all tried speaking to a professional?