Trying to get pregnant using donor eggs

[Sabrina4Babies]

Hello--I am a 40+ woman trying to get pregnant using donor eggs.  I recently had a fresh 5-day transfer of donor eggs.  Today, I am 7-days past the 5-day transfer.  I have read online that many, many women can tell if they're pregnant or not by now using a home pregnancy test.  Well, I just took a First Response home pregnancy test, and the result was a BFN.  This is my second time using fresh donor eggs.  The first time was a fail.  I am very concerned that this is also a fail, especially since I am experiencing no symptoms (just like the last cycle).  Isn't it true that a BFN at this point is more than likely accurate?  Thank you for any insight!  --Sabrina

[Sabrina4Babies]

Hi MHV- What you said about clinics is very interesting.  I should've seriously considered switching clinics when Cycle 2 failed.  What I did do, though, was change doctors within the clinic at Cycle 5.  At this point, though, changing clinics isn't even an option for me.  We've run out of $$$, & my husband will divorce me for sure if I even brought up another clinic!  The only possible option at this point is taking advantage of the freebie cycle.  As for Plumber43, I left her a message.  I hope she gets back to me.  Maybe she'll have additional insight to share!  Thanks, MHV!

[mhv]

Give him time.  He will come around.
There is a lady on here you should connect with.  Plumber43.  She tried several times with her own eggs,before moving on to frozen donor eggs.  I really think she would be a great support and a wealth of advice for you.

I understand the liking your doctor thing,..I do.  But, the one thing I have learned in my 5 years on this site is not all clinics are created equal.  I do not think it is you with the "problem" of getting pregnant.  I just dont think you have been given the best chance possible yet.  :(
That is just my opinion.  

[Sabrina4Babies]

Hello MHV--my first 5 cycles were with my own eggs.  My doctor did many tests on me and said that I stood a chance of conceiving using my own eggs, despite my advanced age.  Anyway, I always produced around 12 eggs, and while all would fertilize, there would only be 3 or 4 remaining by Day 5 to transfer.  My doctor would always transfer all of the remaining eggs -- just because I had the odds stacked against me due to being over 40.  Cycle 1 resulted in a chemical pregnancy.  Cycles 2,3,4 & 5 were all just BFNs.  For Cycle 6, we used a fresh donor egg transfer from a proven donor.  She produced 12 eggs and by Day 5, there were only 2 left to transfer.  That resulted in a BFN.  For Cycle 7 (current cycle), we used a different donor -- younger lady -- per the advice of my doctor.  By day 4 post her retrieval, the embryos had slowed their growth, so instead of a 5-day transfer, we did a 6-day transfer.  By Day 6, there were only 3 Blastocysts, so the doctor transferred all 3, hoping and praying that at least 1 would take.  There was nothing left to freeze.  Well, here I am at 9dp5dt and I feel anything but prego.

Yes, my doctor did put me on prednisone and everything else -- you name it.  We did all kinds of tests to make sure I was physically fit to conceive.  Even my husband was tested -- and passsed.  So, why haven't we conceived yet is the million dollar question!!!  (This is the part when my husband answers:  "Cause it's just not meant to be!")

I've heard of Shady Grove Fertility and other clinics near me that provide appealing arrangements.  However, I like the doctors at my clinic, and I already have so much medical history with them.  

At this point, because of my age, finances, battling with my husband about additional cycles, etc., I'm ready to call it quits and move on .... AFTER THE FREEBIE CYCLE.

Gee, it all makes perfect sense to me to take advantage of the free cycle, but for whatever reason, my husband doesn't agree.  He says he's tired of trying and wants to move on with his life. He says to just be grateful for what we have.

[mhv]

Well, first off, I would wonder why your donor cycles have never produced frozen embryos.  
To me, that is a little odd..  Why is your doctor saying it's not working?  Have you done immune testing?  Some docs don't believe in it, but something has to be going on.  My 7th cycle, the one that worked,  I told prednisolone before and for,the first 7 weeks of my pregnancy.  It was my only successful transfer.  It lowers,the immune system do it doesn't reject the embryos.  It kinda makes sense since you are putting a foreign object into your body.

2nd off, if you do get a BFN, and your next cycle is free, how could you not go for it???  It's free!  I completely understand the heartache part.
And THEY OWE IT TO YOU!  

Start looking around on this site...there are so many ladies that did so many transfers before they were successful.  
One that pops into my head right off is Missenal.  She did several rounds using her sisters eggs, then several rounds doing donor eggs before she was successful.
Most ladies post their stories on their profiles.  
You are not alone in this journey!  Many have done as many and more transfers as you.  

I used to wear glasses, but had laser vision correction 12 yrs ago :)
If you click on my screen name, and go to my page, and look at my pics, there are a few of me in there :)

I live in Ohio.  Btw...we are pretty darn close!  I was wondering because there is an awesome clinic near you shady grove that offers a 100% money back guarantee on donor cycles.

But, you first gotta use the free one the clinic owes you!!!'

[Sabrina4Babies]

Well, SusannaL, I must say that I completely understand everything you're saying.  Before becoming a member of this forum, I have read tons of posts and stories on other websites from women trying to get pregnant.  I sometimes wondered just how factual and genuine they were.  For example, I wondered if some women said their results were positive (when really they weren't) just to elicit good feelings from the forum community and hence by doing so, enabled themselves to build their damaged hopes. I wasn't sure.

But I do know that both you and MHV are genuine.  In just your words alone, I sense so much emotion and can relate to so, so much of what you both have gone through and felt.  It's pretty difficult and embarrassing, I think, to volunteer some of these sensitive experiences, unless of course, they are all true.

The cost in the States to do IVF without insurance coverage is high, and to do a fresh donor cycle is even more expensive (For me, around $30,000 -- donor agency, donor fee, meds, egg retrieval, transfer, etc.).  The clinic that I go to has a deal where after the second donor IVF cycle, the third one is free (I think many clinics here offer some sort of deal to help offset costs).  Even with the free deal thing, my husband is set on stopping.  He says enough is enough and that it's time for me/us to move on with our lives. I made a huge promise to him and to myself at the beginning of this current cycle that this would be our last, and now that I believe the cycle has failed, I desire so much to take advantage of the free cycle that my clinic is offering.  I am crying right now as I'm writing all of this to you because I feel like such a liar.  I'm older than you (late 40s), and I'm beginning to wonder if there's something mentally and/or emotionally wrong with me.  I already have three beautiful and healthy children with my husband. I got married late and started having children late.  They were all naturally conceived, believe it or not.  I love them very much, and I thank God every day for them. But I really don't have any real skills or a career.  All I know is how to be a mom, and I think I'm extremely good at it.  I absolutely love being a mom, and nothing would make me feel more complete and satisfied than to blessed with one last child.  I wonder if you can understand me.

[SusannaL]

This one is a frozen embryo transfer, with a monitored natural cycle only, and progesterone pessaries. They are reasonably cheap, about $4500, and you get back about $600 on private health care, and I think about $1800 on Medicare. So about $2100 out of pocket, less than 2 wks of my pay. Pretty good, can't complain about that.
Fresh cycles are pretty expensive, we need icsi because my husband doesn't produce good sperm, so probably about $11000 and I think you get about 1/3 back. I'm 41 now, so my chances would be probably around 20% per cycle, and I get pretty sick with meds and hormones, so I don't know if I could face that again, even if we could afford it. We have one more frozen embryo we could use, and I think if they both don't work, I think we're done. These frozen ones are from when I was 35, so my chances are about 30% per embryo, so they are the best and cheapest option I have. My specialist didn't say I would have no hope with a fresh cycle but he certainly sounded a lot less positive. Using the frozen ones also ends the angst I feel every 6 months when I get the bill for them- am I going to use them, should I try again etc- I am hoping using them will feel like an ending, and allow me to move on with my life, regardless of the outcome. Otherwise the constant lure of just one more time- it's like a gambler, I know it isn't likely I'll win the lottery but I can't stop because maybe the next cycle is the one....