What should I do?

[DollFacePR]

Hello everyone...I need your advice on what to do. Here's my story, I have been trying to conceive for almost a year, my best friend has been trying for almost 5yrs. She has been checked and they diagnosed her with unexplained fertility. She has done every treatment, and now is in the middle of an IVF, they already colected the eggs and fertilized them and are waiting  to see how they develop. Well, I was about to begin my process, even had an appointment with my RE, only to find out a couple of days before the appointment that I was late on my period and just this past week went to the doctor and they did an u/s and in fact there is a baby measing 6wks 6days and we even saw a strong heartbeat.

I know that my friend is going through a hard process, we have talked about it all throught the process, and I'm concerned for her feelings. She's a strong woman, and I knwo she'll be happy for me, but even the strongest woman can be reduced to tears when it comes to fertility issues, I know because in my process I went though several chemical pregnancies.

I know I have to tell her about my pregnancy, she needs to find out from me, and not through gapevine. We just told my parents and my inlaws, and I even disable my facebook wall, just in case anybody else finds out and wants to publically congratulate us. (Although we asked them no to say anything to anybody, we cant help who they speak to)

My question is what should I do, when?, how should i tell her? We dont live in the same state and As I mention, she's like a sister to me, I loved her very much and I care about her feeling...

Thanks everybody for taking the time to read and for your imput.!

[vmvnpv]

Sorry.  I typed that before reading your responses.  I'm glad everything worked out!  I hope she has the same luck and I will definitely be praying that she gets her baby!

[vmvnpv]

First of all I want to congratulate you!  This is an exciting time!

Second, I'm in your same shoes right now.  DH and I tried for four years.  I cried every time I heard someone else was pg.  So now I'm super sensitive to my friends who also have been TTC for years.  I don't want them to be hurt but at the same time I've tried so long myself.

So I actually look at it this way......you weren't careless.  This is something you and our SO have planned (and tried) for at least a year.  Chances are your friend will probably be happy for you because she knows what a difficult road it has been for you guys too.  I say this because the pregnancies that used to make me cry were the ones where the couple didn't seem to have to do anything.  I have a friend who had been trying for a couple of years and finally got pg with her third IVF attempt.  I was ecstatic for her!  It's easier to take when you know your friend (that just conceived) knows where you're coming from.  It's harder when your friend just needs to look at a man and becomes pg and you can't figure out why that can't be you.

This will also offer her some hope that one day she will also be blessed with a pg.  Just tell her face to face or over the phone.  Don't let her hear it from someone else.

Congratulations again and a H&H9!

[Lynniepooh]

Hi,

I am so glad that worked out for you.  Have a happy and healthy 9 months (or how ever long you have left)

Lynn

[wakejl]

Congrats on your pregnancy. You are definitely due for some good luck! Hope everything continues to go well for you.

[DollFacePR]

Hello Ladies, I just wanted to give u an update, I talk to my friend and told her about my pregnancy.  Needless to say, you were all right, we ended up crying together, she was so excited and happy for me, and I felt releived because I shared the news with her.

She's gonna be implanted tomorow, so pls keep her on your prayers so she can finally have her miracle baby in her arms.

Again thank you all for taking the time to read and give me your imput on my post.!  

[ntate]

I would go ahead and tell her cause if she finds out about it through someone else it will hurt her even more. She will be happy for you. Good Luck!!

[traync]

First of all I want to say that she is lucky to have a friend like you. I am sure she loves you as much as you love her. Go ahead and tell her before it gets out. Trust me pregnancy news travels fast. She will be happy for you, so go ahead and just tell her the great news.

Congrats!

[worththewait78]

I've also been in the position of your friend several times.  We tried to get pregnant for seven years on our own and weren't ever able to.  When my very dearest friends were able to conceive, I never felt a single twinge of envy for them.  I was always happy for them!  EVERY time!!  (I unfortunately can't say the same about those that I wasn't closest to.  BUT with my dearest friends, it was a different story.)  Just tell her.  I know from experience that she will be SO excited for you!

[seg107]

That's great your so thoughtful and senstitive to your friends feelings!

I've been in your friends shoes several times and i agree with the eariler posts that telling her face to face (or voice to voice) is best.  Also, clearly acknowledging how your news is apt to make her feel will likely be really appreciated.

Sounds like you're a good friend...she's lucky to have you!

[DollFacePR]

Thank you for your imput, that would be so amazing, if we could be pregnant at the same time!

SInce we dont live in the same state, is better to give her a call, right? I know she won't be mad, she knew we were trying, She will be happy for me, but feel frustrated bcs another one of her friends got pregnant and not her, at least not yet.

Thanks,

Jessica

[Lynniepooh]

I think you should just come out and tell her.

I have a friend who has a daughter and she just told me last week that her and her hubby are going to try for another. Now she doesn't have the issues I have so she should get knocked up real quick!

I was shocked when she told me, but she also told me to my face and this made it a lot easier.  She said "I wanted to tell you what our plans are because I know your trying hard to get pregnant, I didn't want you be shocked when I tell you that I am."  This made me respect her so much more then I already did!  Even though it would be a shock, I think (knowing me) I would have been more jealous then upset.  '

Just that we talked about it I have time to think about it and know that when it comes, its what was meant to be!

If your girlfriend gets mad at you, just give her some time.  She is bound to be very hormonal right now with all the injections and drugs she is probably taking!

But hey, if my girlfriend get pregnant and I also do, we get to be preggers together!

Good luck and have a happy 9 months!

Lynn