donor eggs verses donor embryos

[mhv]

Hi ladies,

As many of you know, my DH and I are preparing to move forward with a fresh start w/donor eggs.  My question is, I know that there are clinics that offer Donor Embryo's at a fraction of the cost.  I know there is 1 person on here how is preggers by donor embryo's (but cannot find the post or remember who :o(  )  So, I have decided to reach out to my MH friends and see what their experiences/thoughts are on Donor Eggs verses Donor Embryos.  I would love to hear anything anyone thinks or has to say.   I do know there is an Agency Snowflakes, but they are very expensive at around 28,000 just to adopt the embryos... and i know there is a couple of places in North Carolina that just charge the cost of the transfer, and the embryo adoption is free...
I am just weighing our options and want to keep an open mind.  My DH has mentioned Adoption a couple of times, and I think he may be open to the embryo adoption idea.

thanks in advace for your answers!!

[nshapland]

I know-when I look at donors, I look at the ones that look like my husband or our 12 y/o daughter, not me.
Good luck with your next step, whatever you decide : )

[mhv]

I honestly don't think a connection is make through genetics... My mom held me when I was sick (and slept in my bed : )  )  she held me when a boy broke my heart, and wiped away my tears... that's what a mom does... it doesn't matter that I am not genetically "hers"  she is my MOM! So, don't you worry about that!  : )    I do know what you are saying about having your husbands charactoristics though... I would love that!  And the funny thing?  When I have been looking at donors... I often pick the blonde hair blue eyes donors.  That is my hubands characteristics... not mine.  I don't know why?  But I do.  

[mhv]

Thought I'd answer you both together.
Waiting.. I had 2 RE's tell me that my donor eggs weren't viable.  They think the RE went for quantity, not quality.  I never got to do a fresh cycle, it was cancelled because of a thin lining.  I have done 4 frozen cycles.  The first 1 ended in a m/c, and the other 3 were bfn.  But the new RE thinks if we do a Fresh round, it would be very hopeful.   BUT, I still am sending my records to the Best Asherman's surgeon in the world, to have him look over and maybe even go to see, to make sure I can even carry a baby.  All 3 RE's think my "baby carrier" is fine... but I have to make sure before I put anymore $ into this.  

Red... Yep, that's pretty much how I feel... I think some RE's just don't know what they are doing sometimes!!!  I had a perfectly good, known donor, who has a child of her own, and the RE messed up the eggs by "cooking" them to long... What a mess.   The donor embryos are from families who have already had kids from the embryos that are frozen.  That shows that they are viable and ready to be used.
Are you going to try a refund program if this doesn't work?  Or a new Clinic???  (I am praying you don't even have to think about that!  I pray that you are BFP!!!)

[mhv]

What a Wonderful Story!  I wish my parents would feel safe enough to tell me!  What a wonderful day that would be!  I love this story!  I would tell my child from an early age that we had help conceiving... that way, I would not put the burden on anyone else, or make anyone else feel that they were "keeping something" from my child.  I will let my child be in control of who they tell and when.  But, that's just me.  
Give your Uncle and Cousin both a hug from me!  They deserve it! : )

[mhv]

I love your breakdown!  That was Wondefully put!  You did spend a lot of time thinking about it huh???  I will read your post over and over again... it makes so much sense!!!!  
Thanks for sharing!

xo,
Melissa

[mhv]

OH NO!  I didn't think you were regretting it... I just wanted to you feel more at ease about the way the child would feel from my prospective!!!  : )  I wanted to ease your mind about how children felt when they were genetically their mom's/dad's.  That we love you no matter what!  YOU ARE OUR PARENTS! (if that makes sense??)   I just want you to know that I didn't have any problems "connecting" with my parents (for lack of a better word).  I think children are very resilant, and are just thankful to have love affection and a wonderful home.
  I wish I, like you, would have been smart enough 10 years ago to freeze my embryos!  What a wonderful thing that would have been!  You were so smart : )  
My parents are in their 70's now, and I guess if they would have wanted me to know they would have told me... so sad.  The saddest thing is, I can't thank them for what a wonderful job they have done.  The whole extended family has always known of course... my mom has 7 brothers and sisters, and all of their kids know... even younger then me... so it's just weird. But it is what it is, and it's my life.  But, it is a good life.
I will keep you updated for sure!  Don't know what road we are going to travel yet.... : )

xo,
Melissa