Gri

[Jossyb]

How can I get over the death of my mother 11/2 years later

[mkh9]

Gri, I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand what you mean. It took me 3 years to get over the shock and be able to get my life back. Everyone is different and depending on how close you were. But it has been a steady improvement over time.  I finally look back and get sad during time she passed and think of the funny things she did instead of only the pain of loss. One book that helped me was called beyond the light  beyond by Dr. Moody. It is near death experiences where people come back and what they saw. It helped me to think there really is some good place you go. I hope you find that she would want you to be happy.
mkh9

[Kayannaboo]

That is a really really rough one my dear. I am truly sorry for your loss. I think losing someone brings about one of the worse kinds of emotional pain. You miss them everyday and you would be happy for just a minute. On top of that, your brain allows you to forget every disagreement and argument or manipulates your brain into thinking it was not important and indeed it was not. Therefore, all we are left with is the nostalgia and joyful memories.

The truth is -- we can never ever get over a loved one. Unfortunately, that is one pain that we can never rid ourselves of. The saying goes "time heals all wounds" but that is not quite so in this case, what is true however, is that "time covers the wounds and temporarily relieves the pain." The death of a loved one is a pain that we must live with. I find that allowing the happy, joyful memories to fill me up helps, even through my tears I have to smile and laugh at some of the funny moments shared. Trying so hard to "heal" and "get over it", makes it harder. Allow yourself to feel but never to sink below the water. Imagine the person in the best light, assess who they were and still are in your heart, and embrace all the happiness and good things you know they want for you.

Never forget that you are here, and while your heart is broken, you are still here in this life and it truly goes on and you have to keep going as well. Never forget the fact that the times are moving and you have to move along with it. That's just the truth. Do what you must to survive -- vent to a friend, join a support group, take up a hobby in the person's name, just do what you must.

I know it is hard but I wish you so much peace, light and love.