Sorry for your loss. What I believe is that her death left you in a kind of shocked/numb state
Plus you were tending to your dad and husband. Kept you distracted.
The holidays are extremely hard on those of us who have lost someone. Take it easy. You need to be in safe place with family if possible. It takes about a year to get through the grief process. All the 'days' to get through without the loved one, and as you mentioned....songs of the holidays. Whew. They had me in tears most every day.
My son was murdered by his father, my ex, in March. Our celebration of his life was beautiful, with over 200 friends and family, and my other children are recovering ..each in their own way. We are over the worst of it. But knowing you will never see or hear the one who has passed is going to make us sad.
I believe time is a healer....hard to explain how it works...I was ok for two Christmas get togethers at beautiful restaurants, but broke down @ sister's on Christmas day...believe it was seeing her family around her. I love them like my own. One of my nieces had a tough year, and just took me into a bedroom and let me get over my tears.
Your loss is too recent. Do please see a therapist. Believe all are trained in grief counseling. We are here too. Post anytime. Someone will respond.
Sorry for the loss of your precious mother, I lost my mother over 4 years ago the pain is unbearable speaking from experiance. Look to God & he will help you make it through.Life for me will never be the same again but as time goes on you do learn how to cope & go on.
I will be praying for you.
Lisa