I turned 70 this year, have noticed all winter constant fear at every sympom, less energy than before. For the past 4 years, I have wanted to move to a place I love, but always something has prevented this; now it is the housing market decline (I must sell my house here first to buy another). My parents died in their 60s, one of cancer and one of a heart attack, before the difficulties between us had been worked out. I have two grown children but they do not live nearby and, for various reasons, I cannot lean on them should I need to. My brother is an extreme self-centered workaholic, useless in any emergency. I have a few good friends, but they live all over the country. My ex-partner has been dead for years now. I live alone and am extremely noise-reactive and find unendurable being in a place where television/radio/DVD/etc. sound comes through my walls---making a stay in any sort of nursing homes (or many hospitals, not to mention most so-called "independent" or "assisted"-living centers) torturous, and I sometimes get impatient too easily with ignorance among staff or doctors in these places (and try to hide this but they tend to sense it). And so I am in constant fear of what will happen if I get cancer, a stroke, or other disease requiring longterm treatment. Today I have a new symptom; my doctor here once objected to my asking for a test, so I fear to ask for the test I obviously need, one which might, should this be cancer or precancerous, save my life; how do I make myself ask him for this test? How do I deal with the constant recognition that there is not enough help if I get seriously ill (and it is nearing the time when I must)? With the end of my life? Are there others here who share my fears---and are not out to convert one to a religion?