I did body massage and she was top of me and really i dont know if i penetrate her or no
I know rhis paranoia but i dont know it is very difficult for me
Nothing that you describe that puts you at a risk for HIV contraction. It's unusual to not know if your penis was inside her vagina, if you have to guess that, it only implies, there was no penetration.
Since you know you are paranoid, you should seek help accordingly. This is an HIV prevention forum and you don't have a risk. There is nothing more to discuss in context to anxiety, for further discussion on it there is an anxiety forum on this website.