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Am i in danger?


hallo!
I am 36 years old and i have a relationship the last 6 months with someone i know from my past.
All of our csexual contacts so far were fully protected with condom, because in the past around 18 yeasrs old, with my first boyfriend i had an abortion and am extremely careful with those issues, as well am having intense phobias about diseases.
Almost a month ago we had unprotected anal sex without ejaculation for 3 minutes, then we proceeded with vaginal sex with condom.
I dont have any symptoms except extent heart beat, that i feel that am going to hurt my heart with so much stress.
I asked him if i can trust him and he ansewered that he doesnt have HIV or any other dangerous disease.
Please tell me am i in danger?
Lumia77
Best Answer
Avatar universal
You  had protected sex, you do not have an HIV concern.
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Avatar universal
Thank u for your time and your will to help people here.
I know I have anxiety disease issues and definetely and especially after your comnents I will do seek professional help. when I will feel more balanced I will get tested just to see it writen and just get over with it.
I wasnt trying to say anything about one country versus another...am far away from these kind of ideology.Am stating a fact of what am experiencing in my country's culture or lets say the most common practises.
Hiv is a big issue and has led to many discussions over the past years, between people.
We all try to live a constructive life being creative snd mostly happy.Sex is a way expressing ourselves and ofourse hiv excistence has put a big cloud over our heads.
That's life I guess.We must cope with uneasy issues.
Thank u once again.Am closing this thread
And congratulations for your will to dedicate time in helping others.
Warm wishes.
Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
Am european, when we establish or start a relation we get to meet each othrt it is not so common to have doctors appoinymemts together on your first dates...ofcourse hygiene practises are always priority.
Maybe in the Usa is ok to fo yhsy whem I girst meet.

????

I'm not sure what all you're talking about in your last post, about your country versus the US, but I think you're trying to read more into the replies you were given.  ALL of our replies are VERY straightforward, and not difficult to understand at all.

I told you that because you're in a steady relationship, you really don't have too much to worry about.  The ACT of unprotected anal sex WOULD be a significant risk IF your partner had HIV, which most likely yours doesn't.  

That's pretty much it.  If you want to test, test, and even those people in long term committed relationships need to be tested periodically as well.  Why are you continuing to ask about it instead of just testing?  You could have put this to bed by now.

There's really not much more we can say.  You clearly have some issues with health/disease anxiety....and that needs addressed.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Continous testing isn't a high stressful process?
I have read here in med help that a test is highly recommended when partner is infected or in high risk groups..
and when we chose as much as careful as it is possible a partner no one night stands etc isnt that a first step to safety?
Am european, when we establish or start a relation we get to meet each othrt it is not so common to have doctors appoinymemts together on your first dates...ofcourse hygiene practises are always priority.
Maybe in the Usa is ok to fo yhsy whem I girst meet.
Different culture.
And I appeciate that but I have yo tell u that in my country is not so in our everyday couple activities
.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
So u think according to u that I had a serious risk?
And if in a monogamous relation the couples should get tested if they practise mostly safe sex?
Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
Don't confuse irrational fears about HIV due to OCD with a real risk.

The simple solution is to get tested, like Teak advised, and then peridoically, test together with your BF.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank u nursegirl6572.
I still find myself under tremendous stress for this one unprotected act with my BF.
Last week I got my annually pap test along with other stds hsv etc.all came out clear.
Do I really need to hiv test?
I have tremendous stress over 120 pulses per minute.
Besides thst I have no symptoms or other wesnesses just stress snd slightly depressed.
I think I will ruin my relation and myself.
I always had protected sec in my life besides some times with long term partners.
I have I think hiv ocd all my adult life.
Please advise, if possible.
Thank u
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you nursegirl6752.
Your answer put an ease in my thoughts because the feeling of anxiety was getting really bad.
I will consult a professional like u said before to help me with my anxiety issues and among my routine annual medical tests I will include this one too.
Thank you for your prompt answer.
I think you do a great job being able to communicate your knowledge and experience with worried people.
Keep up!
Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
The REALITY is, being in a committed relationship, your risk is low.  It's doubtful your BF is infected, but periodic testing IS recommended for anyone who is sexually active.  The unfortunate thing is, you're dealing with humans, who aren't always honest and who don't always do the right thing.  While I'm sure it's not the case for you, people HAVE cheated on their partners and have given them STDs.  This is why testing once a year is a good idea for anyone who is sexually active.

I wouldn't be overly concerned about the risk of infection.  For one, MOST likely, your BF isn't infected anyway, add to that a one time brief exposure, that's not much to be concerned about IMO.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
So, one last question:
since hiv is a reality and even if someone like me doesn't sleep around and almost all of my sexual endeavours in the past were protected condom etc..when our prophylaxis and careful selection as much as someone can
do that, of our partner with whom we share a
relation, is not enough?
sex is a human need and besides the dangers
is a normal act between people who really care for each other.
When that is not enough?
We should get tested anyway?
Or only when a real or highly potential danger exists? (High risk groups etc)
Is it ok to live the tremendous anxiety of waiting to get tested even if, according to pure logic and no lover-companion from
risky groups?
or am imposing a large amount of guilt in my act and that maybe creates my phobias and anxiety?
Thanks the community again
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
So according to u even if stable relationship we should get tested.
right?
Anyway I feel that am going to hurt my inner balance and health waiting for the three months.
I feel awful
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You never take anyone's word for their status.,
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
So you think that is recommended even if discussed with my boyfriend?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You can obtain your conclusive test result 3 months post your last exposure.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
PLEASE..
Dear Teak,
as far as my one  anal intercourse with my boyfriend (for the last eight months), he is a straight man and when we discussed about his hiv status he assured me that he is negative.
I read a lot about anal sex, being on top of risky behaviours and I am feeling bad.
Thank you.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Say good bye.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
So?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you for your answer.
So, you think that until this 3 month period I should worry?
Because I have intense heart beating, and being so scared..
My boyfriend is straight and when I asked him about his status he answered he is negative.
meanwhile am thinking of seeking professional help about my phobias.
Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
Unprotected anal sex IS a risk, although probably not a significant one, being that you're in a long term relationship.  Do you guys test together periodically?  That's always a good idea if you're going to be having any unprotected sex, vaginal or anal.  

I wouldn't worry too much about it, a test at 3 months post exposure would be conclusive, you could also go and test with your BF to give you some peace of mind.  Unless he's an IV drug abuser, or has sex with other men, he wouldn't be a high risk partner to begin with.

Now, to your phobias and irrational thoughts about sex and diseases....you need to seek out some professional help for that.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Meaning?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Because I feel like that.
Like sex is a constant possibility of disease.
I know this is hysterical and I know that I can feel like that because it ruins my inner balance.
on the other side I dont want to get tested each time I have these thoughts because I feel that in this way I surrender to the phobic part and because I need a more stable solution over this anxiety.
thank you sir
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Why?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Dear sir,
am I a monogamous relationship (I am a female) over the past eight months with a man at 44 years old.
I know him for from my past, but now we are into a relationship.
He is pretty handsome and I know that he had manu relationships with women only.
He is a man in a very good physical condition and with a responsible profession.
We discussed of having sex without condom, we tried it once.he ejaculated out of my body.
I expressed him my phobiad about diseases anf he told me that he does not have Hiv or other sexually transmitted diseases.
We practised anal some days ago..when he ejaculated I stopped it, but I think that maybe some sperm stayed in..I washed after very carefully.
Anyway, though I trust him and we have a balanced relation and nice sexual moments, do u think that maybe am in danger?
Always in my life I had intense phobias about diseases and took me personal effort to enjoy my sexual life.
with this one I feel nice but always I have these annoying thoughts.
Thank you
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Because of this 3-4 minute anal contact with my boyfriend (no ejaculation), which was followed by vaginal intercourse with condom.
Maybe my extra question implies an overreaction..just want to make it clear in my head though, because am suffering from disease phobias.
Thank you
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
If you had no risk then why would you need to test?
Helpful - 0
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