Sex with street worker

[Callum654]

I was on holiday last week and had sex with a street worker. We used one of her condoms and it was used throughout the whole process. She gave me oral for about 5 mins then we had protected vaginal sex from behind for no more than 2 mins. She then finished with oral. I know the condom did not break to the best of my knowledge as I turned it upside down and was all good!
I am obviously concerned about hiv as I never do this and I have severe anxiety levels I can focus in work or anything!

[AnxiousNoMore]

You had no risk and a test would be a waste of time.  If a condom fails it is a large rip down the seam and it hangs in tatters so upside down inspections are unnecessary.

HIV is instantly inactivated in air and also in saliva which means it is effectively dead so it can't infect from touching, external rubbing or oral activities. It doesn't matter if you and they were actively bleeding or had cuts at the time either because the HIV is effectively dead.

Only adult risks are the following:
1. unprotected penetrating vaginal
2. unprotected penetrating anal sex
3. sharing needles that you inject with. Knowing these 3 are all you need to know to protect yourself against HIV. Your situation is a long way from any of these 3.
Even with blood, lactation, cuts, rashes, burns, etc the air or the saliva does not allow inactivated virus to infect from touching, external rubbing or oral activities. The above HIV science is 40 years old and very well established so there is no detail that you can add that will make any of your encounter a risk for HIV.  No one in 40 years of HIV history got HIV from the situation you are concerned about so it is unlikely that it will happen in the next 40 of your lifetime either.

[Callum654]

Thanks for your reply!
Last night I developed a really itchy red rash on my neck to accompany my sore throat.  Rash went away this morning however. I have also had pains in my arms and legs. is this related cos i am really freaking out. Been 9 days since exposure and really worried :/

[AnxiousNoMore]

Only the head needs protection so you are worrying for nothing. You are guessing you have HIV (which is incorrect if you reread the "long way") , worrying needlessly about a sore throat, then making the mistake of thinking the combination of 2 needless fears has proven something.

Also, there is no reason to start the other thread, because all your info is on this one.

[RubyWitch]

You have been given the correct answer to your concerns. You used a condom, which did not break...……..and you WOULD know if it had. As long as the head of your penis was covered at all times, you had absolutely no risk for HIV. The rash, the sore throat, the pains in your legs and arms has nothing to do with HIV. It has everything to do with your severe anxiety. Educating yourself about the basics of HIV and safe sex would go a long way to help you overcome the phobia of HIV.  There are many excellent sites on the net to help you learn. I have included a link I hope you will read. It will answer many of your questions and I hope it will help ease your anxiety.
   http://www.thebody.com/content/58888/hiv-and-safer-sex.html  

[Callum654]

Thank you very much!
I am so scared I have never done anything like this before and the fear of catching anything is taking over me. I appreciate all your help and I know the chances of me being effected are so so tiny but the thought of it is killing me. The fact she gave me her condom worried me at first but looking back it surely is a good sign as shows she doesn’t want to catch anything from me!
In terms of all the problems with the 1 day rash and sore knees and arms I am also experiencing a lot and I mean a lot of itching which is freaking me out but surely is not related in the slightest.

[AnxiousNoMore]

You can get E coli from a hamburger but you don't test for that every day, or can get cancer at any time. yet you are fixated on something you can't have to the point you mislabel zero risk as "chances of me being effected are so so tiny ". Until you start dealing with the reality that zero is different from tiny, you can't get peace.

Consider therapy because you are so anxious you aren't understanding the straightforward black and white advice and are twisting its meaning to match your unscientific fears, which makes no sense.

[RubyWitch]

I agree with AnxiousNoMore that if educating yourself about HIV and safe sex doesn't ease your anxiety, therapy would be the logical next step. I see now that you've developed some itching which is freaking you out. Have you ever been diagnosed with allergies? We are at the height of allergy season and all of your symptoms can be related to allergies. We can develop allergies at ANY stage of our lives, so telling me you don't have any could have been true until now. Might want to think about seeing an allergist or at the very least, try taking an OTC antihistamine and see if you get any relief...….that would be a pretty sure sign it's allergies. You HAVE to accept that none of these is related to HIV.

[Callum654]

I have never been diagnosed with any allergy and to be fair the itching comes and goes on a daily basis so could be something like that.
I appreciate both you and Anxiousnomore taking time to talk to me and reassuring me. I just think guilt has taken over me and gives me fears. I know the chances of a female giving a guy HIV unprotected is very low for a single episode and with a condom it is as you both say Zero Risk. I don't think i need to get testing and feel more confident :)

[RubyWitch]

I'm glad you are feeling better about this situation. You NEVER had a risk for HIV since all sex was protected and the condom did not break.  I'm sorry that you feel guilty...…..that COULD be the reason behind your physical issues. If those issues continue or get worse, please talk with your doctor. We wish you the best.

[Callum654]

Thank you  a think I will need to go see my doctor cos I am experiencing “a lump in throat” feeling and I’m getting sharp pains in my elbows and knees. I am trying not to freak out about this but it is hard not too

[Callum654]

Also sore ears which am guessing is just a cold

[AnxiousNoMore]

Reread about the long way because you are so anxious that you haven't understood ANYTHING that both of us have explained  ----- instead of understanding it you continue to examine your body as if you are proving something. You don't have any medical training and are fixating on the disease you can't have because this is the only one you have Googled. It is unrealistic for you to think you can do a doctor's job wit hno training.