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Avatar universal

I need your help. I think Im

I am sexually active (same sex) and I feel that I am a walking dead now. :(
Please someone explain to me what Im going thru. I feel like 100% that I am HIV positive :(

Sept 28 - Oct 4 I had a fever. I know something is wrong coz nothing changes in my condition when in fact I already took medicines for flu including anti-biotics :(

Before that, September 26,  I started noticing that I am having many skin rashes specially in my thighs and underarms. It was quite itchy.

I recorded my conditions including the dates so I hope you can tell what exactly Im going thru.

Oct. 5 - itchiness on my body and thighs
Oct. 6 - cough, itchiness
Oct. 7 - seldom itchiness, almost no cough
Oct. 9 - mild cough
Oct. 22 - itchiness
Oct. 23 - I feel cold
Oct. 24-28 - mild itchiness. I am using Clotrimazole for skin/fungi inspection.

I still have many rashes in my upper thighs and under arms..

I feel guilty, sad, ashamed.

Guilty because of all the sexual activities I had done in my past.
Sad thinking that I will leave my family soon. I love them. Im a breadwinner in my family and it s a big tragedy of what I am going thru.
Ashamed. I feel that it is a big scandal not only in my family but most specially in my work place. Few weeks from now, we'll have a medical examination (as a requirement for foreign VISA)  and Im afraid my workmates would know my real conditions :(

I live in the Philippines and it is difficult here to get tested much more to be treated :(
Please help me. I don't know what to do.
Please
8 Responses
13276481 tn?1451146767
Hiv rashes are not itchy.
The symptoms you noticed are not classic symptoms, besides, testing is the gage not symptoms.
What was your risk?
2 Comments
Thank you for your response. I really appreciate it. I am sexually active. Every week I had sex with a guy. I also had unprotected anal sex once this year. I was the one on top. But I performed many oral sex :(   I feel that there is something wrong in my body coz I always feel cold. I hope what Im experiencing is not a symptom of HIV but the rashes on my thighs and armpits really bother me and very itchy. I researched on images of rashes of HIV and some of the images look llike what I have:(
I still have skin rashes on my thighs and armpits. Its the first time I experience it and I am really feel terrible and down.. I also feel cold like something is wrong inside my body. I also cant focus in my work :(
Avatar universal
It is not difficult to get tested in the philippines. We live in the same country. If you are into MSM or you have unprotected anal sex. It would be good for you to get tested. There so many clinics that offer free testing in Manila. Remember HIV is transmitted by 1. Unprotected vaginal or anal sex 2. Sharing IV needles 3. Mother to child. If you have not done any of those you should be safe. Good luck!
3 Comments
I had one unprotected sex this year and another 1 more than 10 years ago with a stranger :( Thank you for your reply. I hope there is someone I could talk personally about my condition. I am planning to get tested tomorrow and I hope I will have the courage to go and enter a testing clinic :( You know I kinda feel embarassed to be seen by other people. I am discrete bisexual.  No one in my family and in my work knows that Im engaging with homosexual activities :( It is really frighening and I dont know what to do if I ever get tested positive :(
Talk with someone a friend, someone your close in the family. And no if's or but get tested.
I just cant. I cant think of anyone who can be trusted or understand my situation. :(
Avatar universal
There are many testing centers that offer testing where the test counsellors are either positive individuals or homosexuals or bisexuals. Check out loveyourself.ph there is no other way out of your situation but to get tested. Low prevelance pa ang pilipinas. Ang mahirap 95percent of new HIV cases is among MSM. Lumapit ka sa kaya kaibigan na kaya mong pagkatiwalaan. At magpatest ka na. Wala ng ibang paraan.
1 Comments
Salamat po. I will go to testing center in Shaw today. Please pray for me po.
Avatar universal
Post your results here hope all will go well with you.
5 Comments
I am very happy. The result of HIV (Antibody Test) is Nonreactiv to HIV-1 and HIV-2. Likewise, HBsAg and SY are also nonreactive.
I dont know why after the counsellor told me that I am HIV negative, I still could not believe it. I was really thinking that I am 100 percent HIV positive. I am really thankful that God gave me another chance to live and I am also greatful to you guys who responded to my post.
I also went to a dermatologist today to have my rashes checked. I asked her if the rashes are signs that I have STD. She asked me if I have rashes on my hands or palms. That would be a sign that I have STD according to her.Fortunately, I do not have. She told me to take Cetirizine and apply Betamethasome cream and come back after 1 week. I also told her that I just came from HIV test. SHe was a Christian counsellor. So after we talked about my case, she adviced me alot of things to live a true Christian life and we prayed. She also mentioned that she had so many patients that are HIV positive already and she was really shocked of it.
I would like to commend the Loveyourself clinic in Shaw Blvd. Their testing center is very nice and staff are really kind. The test is also free. Though the atmosphere in the room, being together with other people who also undergo the test, is very tense. I am trying to stop myself from crying coz I was really down and hopeless that moment. Thank God I am HIV negative.
I would like to ask why the counsellor asked me to come back in January next year. He mentioned abou the window period. Does it mean that I still have a possibility to be HIV positive in January assuming that I do not engage in any sexual activities starting today?
3149845 tn?1506627771
Your really over reacting now and need to accept the fact that your negative. He asked you to come back to chat more only.
Avatar universal
Do your best to move on. Accept your results. An no more risky unprotected sex.
Avatar universal
Yes Sir I will! Thank you.
Avatar universal
Yeah. I'll practice safer sex from now on. I think it is better not to have sex with anybody.
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