Oral sex and fingering is not a risk for HIV. You need to give us clear information for risk evaluation. If you didn't have unprotected anal sex, you have nothing to worry about. If you feel otherwise, the earliest you can test is at 28 days from the date of your incident with a IV Gen HIV test.
We can't help you here with paranoia support, you need to see a therapist for that.
This answers all of your HIV questions, and if you can think of any more just reread about the 3. You had zero risk therefore testing is irrelevant to your situation because you had zero risk. HIV is a fragile virus, which is instantly inactivated in air and also in saliva which means it is effectively dead so it can't infect from touching, external rubbing or oral activities. It doesn't matter if you and they were actively bleeding or had cuts at the time either because the HIV is effectively dead.
Only 3 adult risks are the following:
1. unprotected penetrating vaginal with a penis
2. unprotected penetrating anal sex with a penis
3. sharing needles that you inject with.
The only way to get HIV is if you did one of the 3. The situation you describe is a long way from any of these 3.
Even with blood, lactation, cuts, rashes, burns, etc the air or the saliva does not allow inactivated virus to infect from touching, external rubbing or oral activities. Doctors have calculated the risk from what you describe to be less than that of being hit by a meteor, therefore no one will get HIV from what you did in the next 40 years of your life either. The above HIV science is 40 years old and very well established, so no detail that you can add to your encounter will change it from zero risk.
If you didn't have one of the 3 then you are just worrying about your own hiv theory - which is unrealistic for you to think that can become reality - so you should move on back to your happy life instead.
"My paranoia is taking over me with questions such as what if i did something else that I couldn't remember?" You need to see a mental health professional to resolve your hiv fixation if you can't control your imagination and accept the above. Perhaps taking ONE placebo test for hiv will work though since you are claiming intoxication and used "generally" as a vague description of your memory.