Scared to death dont know what to do

[ctsrick]

Im freaking out and don’t know what to do. In early January I had unprotected sex with a stranger. This woman was persistent about using a condom and quizzed me on my STD status. I have been monogamous for 3 years prior. Anyway the condom slipped off and we continued to have sex for a brief period of time. I became very nervous and anxious. I avoided seeing this woman ever again although she did make attempts to want to see me again. Here is where the insanity starts. I got a new partner soon after and we began having sexual relations unprotected. Currently she is experiencing swollen lymph nodes in her neck, and has a lack of energy and concentration. She went for blood work and her white blood cell count is low 3.1 I am also having cold symptoms at the current time. It began as a dry throat and now is a productive cough with runny nose, and occasional sneezing. I am scared to death of HIV I always have been. My behavior was reckless and I could not live with my self if I had gotten HIV from someone I didn’t know and gave it to someone I loved. Im scared to be tested for fear of what I would do to my self if the results were positive. I am hoping that her white blood cell count is low due to a viral infection of some sort. I have been sick for the past week now and think she might have what ever I have. Everything is just so coincidental. I have had no symptoms up until now which is 5 months from the encounter with the stranger, and me and my partner have been sexually active for 3 months. The window periods scare the **** out of me. I can’t stop worrying about this. I am not normal, I will honestly not live with HIV I will blame my self for hurting my self and others and I cant live a life of disgust, I cant look that person in the mirror. I don’t know if it matters but all the people mentioned are young white females and males. Im so scared of HIV that I won’t even call the girl I am worried about having potentially caught it from. Any advice would be appreciated. I just can’t deal with the stress of blood work from my partner. I have also had a rash next to my eye for over a month now that has gone away with ointment, however I think the rash may be due to different reasons such as extreme sun exposure. Pleas help with this matter. Thank you.

[lookin4answers80]

And I'd also add that there are literally dozens of conditions that can cause a low white blood count. Maybe even some strains of the common cold, I don't know.

[evenflow1121]

Yes you are you have to because not getting tested isnt going to change anything.  But here is the good part, the odds are in your favor so get tested get your negative and move on with your life.

[ctsrick]

I apreciate your feed back. I agree that anyone with any disease is not disgusting. What I meant was I would be in disgust with my self for being so irresponsible. Like I said I wish I could get the courage to get tested but Im not like everyone else I cant deal with those kind of life changing events. Thank you for reading this and easing my mind.

[evenflow1121]

"I am scared to death of HIV I always have been..."

Hmm indeed.

Sometimes I think most of you are making this stuff up, seriously.

BTW, people that have HIV do not live a life of disgust, they are human beings like you and me who happen to have a type of condition, that's all.  They still function like you and I do, and can not give you the disease by everyday casual contact.  So, you are certain that the first girl of the two you had unprotected sex with gave you HIV. How so?
First, HIV is very hard to catch, second you only had a one time exposure to that particular girl, and if I understand your post, she insisted on wearing a condom, though the condom slipped.  Then you found some other girl and had unprotected sex with her for the last 3 months.  Your condition is not indicative of ARS, ARS does not have runny noses, and your rash has nothing to do with ARS either, thats just a small rash.

Typical time for ARS to show up is 2-4 weeks post exposure, not 5 months, but a runny nose has nothing to do with ARS, also ARS symptoms come all at once, that is you are not going to get a sore throat one week, then a rash another, followed by something else, doenst work that way.  You should get tested not only for HIV but for all other STD's simply because you are sexually active and have had unprotected sex.  However, your risk is low, for one that girl you had unprotected sex, the first one, was a brief encounter and a one time encounter, and the other girl you have been sleeping with, well you ve only been sleeping with her so by now you may know her habits somewhat well.   Go ahead and get tested at 6 weeks to give you a good indication and then at 12 weeks for the conclusive, you are going to test negative.  Start learning how to use condoms however.