HECTOR Update - prognosis becomes dire

[HectorSF]

Hi everyone. :-)

I just want you to know I appreciate all of your support. For me it has never meant so much to me.

I rather not go into the details... but I can say that my last live cancer treatment did not help my situation and my circumstances unfortunately have worsened considerably and become dire now. I am still remain hopeful that somehow, someway, this is not the end of the road for me. I have told my doctor I want to continue to fight until all my options run out even if it entails high risky experimental procedures since I have nothing to lose. I have made clear I rather die fighting then be told "there is nothing else we can do for you, better get your affairs in order and prepare for the inevitable".

In the next few weeks I will repeat the liver cancer (TACE) procedure in hopes of eliminating what remains of the tumor that the last procedure was unable to kill.
I will also have a PET scan to search for tumors that may have spread to other parts of my body.

So I have been preoccupied with this recent turn of events and need to make end of life contingency plans. Therefore I have had to prioritize my time differently. So that is why I have not been around. I hope you can understand that this is the most difficult situation I have ever dealt with in my life and need to do everything I can to keep my inner hope alive despite the great statistical odds against me.

In no way is my absence online a disregard for all the prayers, well wishes, good vibes and support that I have received from so many of you. My appreciation of my good fortune of meeting so many caring and thoughtful will never diminish no matter what happens. That is something I am sure of and I want you to be sure of too.

I wish the best to all of you wherever you are on this hep C/liver disease journey. I feel fortune to be a member of such a great community of caring people.

Hector
4/23/2013
UCSF liver cancer patient, undetectable HCV for 32 weeks, cirrhosis and HCC
In liver transplantation, the Milan criteria are applied as a basis for selecting patients with cirrhosis and hepatocellular carcinoma (HCC) for liver transplantation. I am currently unable to be transplanted due to my liver cancer being outside the Milan criteria for transplant. This is because even if I had a transplant, I still would die from recurrence of HCC soon after transplant and it would be a poor use of a donor liver. My outcome wouldn't change and someone else might die because I received the donor liver that could have saved them and allowed them to live 10-20 years.

"It ain't over 'til it's over"
"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't go to yours."
Yogi Berra - Philosopher and baseball great

Hector
4/23/2013
UCSF liver cancer patient, undetectable HCV for 32 weeks, cirrhosis and HCC
San Francisco, CA

[1swimmer]

Thanx for the update on your situation. I commend you on your ongoing struggle and courage to continue fighting for life. Every moment we have is so precious and when I think of you I am reminded of that. This is the first support forum, I have ever participated in, and never knew I could come to care so much about strangers. I care about you. It's as if you were my brother.
I truly wish a miracle for you, so keep fighting,
C

[Annie_777]

Blessings~~ I wish somehow things will work out for you.  Anyone can die from an accident on the street any given day.  Please don't think you are less deserving than other patients just because you have cancer.  You are a good fighter - live your life to the fullest and not one day less!  Best wishes!!!

[cheflady]

what can i say apart from what a warrior and what an inspiration to all of us. The world would be a damn sight better place if there was more people like you, i want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and just how much i admire you. Lots of love Jules xxx

[hepcat1954]

God bless you Hector.  You have blessed us all through your support caring and generously sharing your knowledge.

We are with you as you continue to fight.

HepCat

[belle19]

hector, you're in my thoughts and prayers...you still fight the good fight.  may everything work out for you.  everyone is pulling for you.  god bless...belle

[mikesimon]

Quit fooling around and just get well - will ya?
Can't you see that this worrying is killing us?
So hurry up Hector and GET that AFP DOWN

                            
                              DOWN WITH THE AFP!

Get well,
Michael

[Reidmusic]

We continue to hope and pray for you Hector. We are all hoping for a miracle and that somehow, some way, your situation will improve. I don't know how you've managed to stay so positive throughout this whole ordeal, but you really have inspired us to do the same. Nobody expects you to post here all the time because we know what you're going through. May God reach down and touch you and heal you.  Reid

[IAmTheWalrus]

My hopes and prayers are with you, Hector. Somehow I know you'll pull through.

Brent

[Idyllic]

Thank you so much for continuing to post despite what has to be a devastating time. It is a shock to see this post since I think I can speak for many of us in saying that we have been right there with you with the hope that this would all work out. That your AFP would drop and things would fall into place for your transplant. I have learned so much from you and your heart felt, thoughtful and fully informative posts that I just want to believe this is not happening. I will continue to hope and pray for you Hector - that fat lady ain't sung yet.

[ceanothus]

Mikesimon's reply really resonates with me and I have to second it, but I have to add a little too. I'm sending good energy your way and I'm hoping as hard as I can for you to pull off a miracle, but I also want to say that I believe you have already achieved a sort of immortality. What I mean is that you have given generously of yourself to all of us (and probably to others in other parts of your life) and we all treasure those gifts and will carry them with us always. Most of us will be holding on to a portion of that gift all of our lives, while passing another portion on to help others. I think this kind of loving gift is the best chance at immortality anyone can ever have, and you've given so very much that you are long since guaranteed that immortality.  I'm sure you are now being totally bombarded, surrounded and inundated with all the love and hopes and best wishes of the hundreds or thousands of people you have helped. Blessings upon you, Hector. All that loving energy just HAS to help.

[mikesimon]

So very true Ceanothus and beautifully said.

[jules2551]

I am going to follow in Mike's footsteps and say....

Get your $hit together and get that AFP down!  Enough is enough

[pooh55811]

I echo what Ceanothus said so beautifully.

I, too, am hoping that you can pull off a miracle, get rid of the HCC, and get your transplant. I am sending hugs and good wishes and positive energy your way. Hang in there, Hector.

[HectorSF]

I think I'm gonna start a revolution...

Hey, hey HCC, how many kids have you killed today?
One, two, three, four! We don't want your tumor war!
Make love, not AFP!
Ill people of the world unite!
We have nothing to lose but our chains of pain and suffering.

"Fight The Power"

...Got so many forces
Stayin' on the scene
Givin' up all around me
Faces full a' pain

I try to play my music
They say my music's too loud (Grrr)
I tried talkin' about it
I got the big run around (Grrr)
And when I rolled with the punches
I got knocked on the ground
By all this bull$hit going down!

:-)

[PaulaAnn]

Oh Shoot!!!!  

I do love your song though Hector.  

I hope that your wonderful doctor can come up with something.  I dont blame you to go in with guns ablarin'.  

You know we're all behind you and if we could all give a good little piece of our livers to you...we'd be doing that.  But we give you a little piece of our hearts instead.

Thank you Hector for giving us so much and really not realizing what a big part of us you are.  Hope your dr can come up with something to try.  I'm mad.....!!  You deserve much better!

Hugs, love and prayers...Paula

[aheart]

Count me in on the revolution, and down with HCC. Up with your warrior spirit, and unbendable unbreakable courage and undying hope. You have given so selflessly to others it's an unbelieveable concept that you could not catch a break for you. If our collective respect and yes love for you could do it, how wonderful would that be? I love your never give up, never give in
philosophy! And we never know, the doc's don't know, each of us having our own destiny. I believe hugely in miracles and continue to hope and pray for yours Hector!  You get the best headphones that Sony makes and play that music to your heart's content, Please feel the comprehensive power of the group with you brother and keep on keepin' on!

[can-do-man]

Hector were all pulling for you, only the best........

[hrsepwrguy]

Wishing you all the best Hector

[Willy50]

Thinking of you hector, wishing there was something that anybody could do.

Take care of yourself, your needs.  We all understand you need to do that.

Please understand that we continue to care and hope for your best outcome.

willy

[halfwatt]

Quite a few have spoken so eloquently already...especially ceanothus. As others have, I echo her sentiments completely.

Even now in this dark hour you remain a model of grace, strength, courage and determination.  

I will continue to hold good thoughts and prayers for you for an ultimately positive outcome for your situation.

Do what you need to do to take care of yourself first and if there is anything we can do to be of assistance please let us know.

brian

[GoofyDad]

I'm not around much, but popped in to find this. Wishing you the best Hector - I am close by -  if you need something let me know.

[creewoman]

I have just phinished reading the Post I had never wanted to read!I haven't gotten to know you yet and I pray phor the opportunity to share in your experience with ESLD and your amazing knowledge.
You will be here with us until you have done all the work you were destined to do..There are jobs that each one o us have to do that no one else can do and you will be here until you've done them.
I am sending comport to you with many prayers,stregnth and HOPE.
Keep the aith !  
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Snow

[gerard11]

Hector I look for your post all the time. It lets me know you are still the fighter we all know you are. Hector, although we have never met I must say that I think you are one of the finest people I have ever had correspondence with. I know you have helped countless numbers of people here and elsewhere! I know I have told your story countless times to people I have met along the way in my  Hepatitis C journey. Your story, like you, are very powerful in their own right. I know if it wasn't for you and your generous nature on this site I would not be undectable now. Thank you so much for your kindness and unselfish giving to me and so many others.   God bless you man and I know you are giving it your all!!! You are the man in my book!!!!'

[srw920]

Hector you are truly a diamond in this rough world and I pray for you  every day.  I echo the sentiments of many in that you have become a part of my family.  I pray that you are successful in your fight and hope to read your words of wisdom and guidance for many years to come <3 God Bless