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Had protected sex at massage parlor. Scared I have herpes
Hi I am looking for guidance on my actual potential exposure risks. I messed up really bad 7 days ago. I got way too drunk with a friend and ended up at a massage parlor where I had protected sex with a condom with the masseuse. I am in a long term committed relationship and am terrified I will give something to her. I can’t believe I did this. We have been having problems, but I never saw myself doing this kind of thing. I’ve never cheated on her before. The only symptoms I’ve had is frequent urination the 2 days after and a slight burning/tingling in the tip of my penis. Both of these symptoms I am not sure if I am making up in my head. I also am obsessively checking my genitals for sores so I think that is causing pain, although I am not sure if that’s the cause. What has me freaking out the most is what I’ve read on the internet about having HSV2 and no symptoms at all. My question is how common is it to have no obvious symptoms and still end up having hsv2? I’m hoping a medical professional can help me with figuring out how likely it is I contracted HSV2. I paid for a blood test 2 days after, not knowing how long I was supposed to wait. I am already HsV1 positive so I am also wondering will already having hsv1 antibodies allow me to show antibodies sooner in a hsv2 blood test? I want to get tested again in 4 weeks. I’m so worried about giving something to my partner. I keep putting off sex with her but I don’t know how long I can put it off because she wants to engage but if I tell her what I did my relationship will be over. Everything I’ve read online says that condoms offer barely any protection against Herpes. That being said, is it a big likelihood I have contracted HSV2? Sorry for all the questions I am having daily nervous breakdowns over this. I am so ashamed of myself. Thank you
Ok, my first piece of advice is to stop reading online. A lot of miss info out there.
Your exposure was an incredibly low risk for hsv and condoms when used correctly and stay intact offer 95% protection according to the most recent studies. In all my time doing this i have not had anyone contract hsv from a single protected encounter.
If you had unprotected sex your odds would be roughly one in a 1000 if your partner had hsv2 of course. Add a condom and those odds become almost zero. I understand your stress and people make mistakes. Honestly your guilt and anxiety are really your only enemy.
It is true hsv can be completely asymptomatic but most of the time there are symptoms. If they are mild most people who are not on the look out will pass it off as something else. In your case i really believe you don't have much to worry about.
12 weeks is conclusive for testing and 8 weeks is a great indicator as over 85% would test pos by then. Your risk was so small i wouldn't even recommend testing to be honest. As far as when you can have relations with your partner? Well that's up to you. Knowing what i know if it were me i wouldn't have a problem resuming normal relations. It's obviously going to take time for you to heal mentally from this so take your time and learn to forgive yourself. You're not a monster just a guy who made a mistake.
Your exposure was an incredibly low risk for hsv and condoms when used correctly and stay intact offer 95% protection according to the most recent studies. In all my time doing this i have not had anyone contract hsv from a single protected encounter.
If you had unprotected sex your odds would be roughly one in a 1000 if your partner had hsv2 of course. Add a condom and those odds become almost zero. I understand your stress and people make mistakes. Honestly your guilt and anxiety are really your only enemy.
It is true hsv can be completely asymptomatic but most of the time there are symptoms. If they are mild most people who are not on the look out will pass it off as something else. In your case i really believe you don't have much to worry about.
12 weeks is conclusive for testing and 8 weeks is a great indicator as over 85% would test pos by then. Your risk was so small i wouldn't even recommend testing to be honest. As far as when you can have relations with your partner? Well that's up to you. Knowing what i know if it were me i wouldn't have a problem resuming normal relations. It's obviously going to take time for you to heal mentally from this so take your time and learn to forgive yourself. You're not a monster just a guy who made a mistake.
2 Comments
Thanks so much feelingundone for your advice and words of encouragement. I’ve read a lot of your comments on here and I really appreciate you taking the time to comment on my post. Just reading this has helped relieved a bit of my anxiety. I screwed up bad and honestly feel like if I did get something I deserve it, I just can’t bear the thought of giving it to my partner. Anyways thank you again for your help.
You're very welcome. I fully understand exactly how you feel. It will get better in time.
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You are reading content posted in the Herpes Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
