Your test in Sept was absolutely conclusive, assuming you had an IgG test done.
Save your money, please. You don't need to test again. If hsv1 slows seroconversion, it's only by a few weeks. Your test 5 months later would have been fine. Your test in Aug was likely conclusive, too.
I know you don't have insurance, and don't make a lot of money, but there are low cost options for therapy. Here are some ways to find it near you - https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/mental-health-services-how-get-treatment-if-you-can-t-ncna875176 PTSD sucks, but there is good help out there for it.
Handjobs are no risk for anything whatsoever.
Receiving oral sex does have some risk, but it's a lot lower than vaginal or anal sex. Receiving oral puts you at risk for hsv1 (which you already have orally, and your antibodies protect you from getting again. I might not get oral from someone with an active cold sore, but outside of that, it should be fine), syphilis and gonorrhea. Chances of these are low, but it's possible.
Handjobs/mutual masturbation:
Here are some posts from our experts (when we had them) that may help -
https://
www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Nervous-about-mutual-masturbation/show/2183476
https://
www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Mutual-Masturbation-STD/show/1968429
https://
www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/mutual-masturbation-sti/show/1858544
https://
www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Understanding-the-risks-of-mutual-fingering/show/1516796
https://
www.medhelp.org/posts/HIV---Prevention/Vaginal-fluid-on-hand-touched-inside-of-condom-and-head-of-penis/show/1119533 - read this thread thoroughly. There is an excellent explanation about why certain activities are not risks, and why others are.