Is HSV-1 contagious or not? Silly question, right?

[JM472]

Hello, I'm a male and I have a female friend. We're friends through work.

We have never dated or anything (no interest), but we talk about things, and recently she mentioned she uses Abreva because she gets cold sores.

One of the things we talk about is dating/relationships/flings... And about half a year ago, she had broken up with her boyfriend, and since then, has been having a few casual flings with guys she meets through online dating apps. After I learned that she gets cold sores, I asked her, somewhat confused, "...Are you meeting up with guys while you have cold sores..?" And the conversation eventually led to her saying, basically, that, "most people are immune to herpes," "everybody has it, but they just don't have symptoms," and "it's not a big deal and isn't contagious."

I was shocked and I was, and still am, positive that she is mistaken. I want to tell her to be less careless with these guys she is seeing because I am pretty sure if she gives someone herpes, and if they can prove that she knew that she had it (which, she does), and did not tell them, then she could be sued or charged with something.

What I learned in 5th grade sex ed about HSV-1 and HSV-2 is this:

- Both forms of herpes are HIGHLY contagious.
- Transmission of virus through skin contact and does not require sex; can happen just before sores appear, while they are present, and can also happen soon after they've vanished.
- Can transfer virus through eating utensils and sharing drinks (saliva).
- Oral herpes can turn into genital herpes through oral sex.
- Once you get either form, it's lifelong
- (Also, I know that chickenpox is a form of herpes but it's not the same thing as cold sores or genital herpes..)

After under 30 seconds of googling, I confirmed these things that I was already pretty sure of.

But then I tried googling her stance, that "everybody has it, they're just immune" or whatever. And that came up with something too..

Sources that are saying things like "most people have it" or "75% to 90% of Americans have it" or "You probably have it but you only ever had one cold sore, and then never again, but you still have it."

Does that mean I probably have it?  Does that mean my mom and dad probably have/had it?  I'm confused here.  75 to 90%...?

I have never gotten a cold sore from what I remember. I *have* had chicken pox. I feel like I would remember if I ever had an actual cold sore on my lip? The only thing I get occasionally are canker sores (inside my mouth) from acidic food.

So WHICH IS IT then? If HSV-1 is extremely contagious like I learned in school, then I think I'm morally responsible to tell her to be careful and tell these guys she has it, before she transmits it to some poor dudes for the rest of their lives. Or is it that she's right: everybody probably has it, I probably have it, my math teacher probably has it, but only a very few people show symptoms... ...? (and therefore it's not a big deal and I should stay quiet?)

Please advise, thank you.

[feelingundone]

Hsv1 is extremely (over exagerated) in small children. Thats when most people get it. That being said at least 60% of americans have it and you can get it as an adult.
A lot of people have established hsv1 infections and don't get cold sores anymore. If you have it the body builds antibodies that help keep it in check and give you a sort of immunity from getting it else where on the body.

[JM472]

Clarification:  I didn't mean "I'm obligated to go tell the guys directly."  I meant "I should tell her to be careful and I should tell her to inform the guys she is seeing about her cold sores, because I don't believe that she is since she believes that everybody already has the virus."

[Primordial1]

If she passes it on to ONE person it's too many! I would absolutely tell these guys.If she won't them  It's your obligation to tell them.