Aa
Herpes
I am in an anxiety inducing predicament. I had unprotected oral sex and protected oral and vaginal sex with two women of questionable sexual health. I then had unprotected sex with a third woman who was clean. A week later the third woman received herpes like sores and is awaiting lab results. Two weeks passed between the first two encounters and the third. In the meantime I tested negative for all stds and had no symptoms of any kind. What are the odds I tested negative, was asymptomatic and passed along herpes in these extremely brief encounters? It seems unlikely but I am very concerned.
Thanks in advance
Thanks in advance
Absolutely agonizing weekend and Monday. No word yet. I know it’s my fault but not sure how to cope with this. Can’t eat, sleep, or focus on anything else.
54 Comments
Wringing your hands and freaking out isn't going to change anything. Eat something, even if it's a piece of toast. Drink some water. Take a nap, unless you're at work, then don't do that.
Have you heard anything yet?
Have you heard anything yet?
Haven’t heard anything yet. Absolutely awful. The worse part is the lack of clarity. Not knowing how it will play out. Additionally the doctors seem to have convinced her that even if it is herpes she could’ve gotten it years ago, that it’s fairly common, and not a big deal. No matter how unlikely they may seem to me. So now I could potentially be left holding this in for a lifetime if this relationship progresses in the direction it was headed.
The doctors are correct on all of it.
You have some decisions to make. If she has herpes type 1, you could have realistically given her that at any time, or she could have had that at any time.
You at least didn't have hsv2 as of a few months ago, so unless it's a new infection, you didn't give her that.
You are the one that went outside the relationship. You have to decide whether to tell her that or not. Only you can decide that. If it's hsv1, that's one choice with different ramifications than if it's hsv2.
You have some decisions to make. If she has herpes type 1, you could have realistically given her that at any time, or she could have had that at any time.
You at least didn't have hsv2 as of a few months ago, so unless it's a new infection, you didn't give her that.
You are the one that went outside the relationship. You have to decide whether to tell her that or not. Only you can decide that. If it's hsv1, that's one choice with different ramifications than if it's hsv2.
Yep I agree on all of the above. I do have a few questions? What are the odds I contracted it but was totally asymptomatic? It seems wild that I could have no reaction and she could get such a bad reaction. Also what are the odds of genital to genital hsv1 transmission? I was thinking maybe I recently got hsv1 on my genitals but didn’t react because I already had it, then maybe passed that on to her?
First - the odds that you'd get ghsv1 after having ohsv1 are very, very small. You'd have to come into contact with a very high viral load - think an active outbreak - to do so.
We do not have stats on ghsv1 to ghsv1 transmission, especially a new infection, but I don't think that's what happened here.
I think the odds that your partners were all asymptomatic at the time of activity, you used a condom, you've been asymptomatic and then giving it to your partner are extremely low. We've covered this.
I think, if she has herpes, it's either ghsv1 from you giving her oral sex, or an existing ghsv2 infection.
We do not have stats on ghsv1 to ghsv1 transmission, especially a new infection, but I don't think that's what happened here.
I think the odds that your partners were all asymptomatic at the time of activity, you used a condom, you've been asymptomatic and then giving it to your partner are extremely low. We've covered this.
I think, if she has herpes, it's either ghsv1 from you giving her oral sex, or an existing ghsv2 infection.
Thanks again. Your right, my brain is just running wild. When you say the odds are low what does that mean 1 in 10 or like 1 in 100? I still can’t believe the doctor hasn’t called back yet. Sorry for all the questions you are the only thing that’s kept my brain remotely calm in the last 10 days.
Call the doctor. It could be sitting on someone's desk who is out sick.
And getting herpes from a one time protected encounter is like 1 in 10,000.
Really, do something else to occupy your time. Play games, read a book, watch movies or sports or TV. Work on your car or whatever it is you like to do. Go for a hike. Stop thinking about this for awhile. :)
And getting herpes from a one time protected encounter is like 1 in 10,000.
Really, do something else to occupy your time. Play games, read a book, watch movies or sports or TV. Work on your car or whatever it is you like to do. Go for a hike. Stop thinking about this for awhile. :)
She ended up calling the doctors office. Turns out the doctor is out until Friday but the nurse told her the results of the culture were negative for either type of HSV. Now she’s confused because the igm test told her she had an infection but now the culture is saying she doesn’t. I’m unclear as to how the igm test works. Does it specifically look for HSV or any infection?
Also I forgot to mention the CSWs were in South America. Could this be some more obscure infection I passed around? I see chancroid has similar symptoms, although it looks like It would’ve been more likely for me to show symptoms than her.
The IgM is a terrible test, and is wrong more often than it's right. The CDC recommends that it not be used, as does every expert in the field.
https://westoverheights.com/forum/question/confused-positive-igm-negative-igg/
"In my experience, 80-90% of positive IgM tests are false positives." - Terri Warren
https://www.kevinmd.com/2013/07/order-herpes-igm-blood-test.html
https://drjengunter.com/2013/06/17/igm-blood-test-for-herpes-just-say-no/
https://www.statnews.com/2017/01/26/flawed-herpes-testing-leads-to-false-positives/
These are older because we've known for a long time not to use this test.
The IgM test is supposed to look for antibodies that develop shortly after infection. For other infections, the IgM test works really well. For herpes, it's just not accurate.
I know it's hard, but try to ignore that it was done. Was her IgG negative? Did she have that done?
You don't know that you've passed an infection around. Did they test her for anything else? Yeast? BV? Anything?
https://westoverheights.com/forum/question/confused-positive-igm-negative-igg/
"In my experience, 80-90% of positive IgM tests are false positives." - Terri Warren
https://www.kevinmd.com/2013/07/order-herpes-igm-blood-test.html
https://drjengunter.com/2013/06/17/igm-blood-test-for-herpes-just-say-no/
https://www.statnews.com/2017/01/26/flawed-herpes-testing-leads-to-false-positives/
These are older because we've known for a long time not to use this test.
The IgM test is supposed to look for antibodies that develop shortly after infection. For other infections, the IgM test works really well. For herpes, it's just not accurate.
I know it's hard, but try to ignore that it was done. Was her IgG negative? Did she have that done?
You don't know that you've passed an infection around. Did they test her for anything else? Yeast? BV? Anything?
Her igg was negative I believe, which made sense to me since I was convinced it was a new infection from me. I am not sure they tested her for anything else. It sounds like her doctor zeroed in on herpes or shingles pretty quickly. Although there were reasons the doctor didn’t think it was either. For example the doctor thought it was odd there was no pain urinating (herpes) and thought it was odd shingles would be on both sides.
Despite being out today the doctor ended up calling back. Her diagnosis based upon the facts (me having hsv1, the positive igm test, and the symptoms) and what she saw with her eyes was that my girlfriend had a genital outbreak of HSV1. She will probably go on suppression for a little bit because the experience was so terrible for her. I guess the only way I could confirm on my end would be to go get a hsv2 test at the 12 week mark of my initial encounter? If that is negative then it’s safe to say it is hsv1. Although I’m not sure it’s even worth it if I’m asymptomatic.
Okay, so they are going with you giving her ghsv1 from oral sex. That's about the only thing that would make sense, unless you have never given her oral sex.
The reason why it hurts with urination is because the acid in the urine hits the sores. If the sores are in a place where urine doesn't come into contact, it might not hurt. If she drinks a lot of water, her urine might not have a lot of acid in it. This is true for any sore, not just herpes.
Her hsv1 IgG was negative, as well?
The reason why it hurts with urination is because the acid in the urine hits the sores. If the sores are in a place where urine doesn't come into contact, it might not hurt. If she drinks a lot of water, her urine might not have a lot of acid in it. This is true for any sore, not just herpes.
Her hsv1 IgG was negative, as well?
Yes he hsv1 igg was negative as well. Honestly hsv1 seems like the only logical answer but even that doesn’t seem all that likely. I have given her oral sex but not all that often or recently.
In the last 3 months?
Maybe it isn't herpes. Maybe it's a bad yeast infection.
Maybe it isn't herpes. Maybe it's a bad yeast infection.
Nope not in the last 3 months. I suppose it’s something else although I’m not sure I’ll ever know. I thought for sure the culture would point to either type of HSV as it was done 2-3 days after the symptoms began and I can’t imagine it wouldn’t have picked it up if that was it. So a large part of me wants to put a lot of stock in the fact that it was negative, but who knows.
If they did a culture on day 2 or 3, and it was negative, that lends itself to not being herpes.
Unfortunately, all you can do now is wait. :(
Unfortunately, all you can do now is wait. :(
Yep I agree. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how I look at it, I don’t think it is something that will get revisited. She is going on suppression for a little bit and then will stop. If it pops up again she will have the medicine nearby. I also couldn’t sit still any longer and got tested again. This is four weeks post my potential exposure and it tested negative. I know that’s not definitive but nothing is at this point. I’m not sure I’ll ever get a answer but I’ll be happy to put this behind us.
Well, the only answer you'll get that will mean anything is if you both test positive for type 2 at 12 weeks. That's really all that matters.
50% test positive by 3 weeks, 70% by 6 weeks, so your test is somewhere in between there.
Keep me posted, and hang in there.
50% test positive by 3 weeks, 70% by 6 weeks, so your test is somewhere in between there.
Keep me posted, and hang in there.
Will do. Thanks again for all your insight.
Jsmoker…different but similar situation with me. I just tested negative for HSV2 (IGG test) at week six. I’ll test at 12 weeks for sure and then feel confident of the results. AuntieJessie has been very helpful and encouraging to say the least, The anxiety can be so stressful. Hoping for the best and looking forward to both negative results for us.
Jeremiah, yes you are correct. AuntJessie has been extremely helpful. in dealing with the day to day anxiety. The prospect of living like this for another two months seems terrifying, especially since it will be a lifetime of living like this if it turns out to be positive, because of the guilt of having given this to someone I care about while being totally asymptomatic. It is awful seeing the pain she’s still in even after finishing a course of Valtrex. And of course out of all the stds there seems to be the least clarity on herpes. You can have tests that show up negative because of timing, you can have cultures come back negative but it could be because not enough sample was taken. It’s all absurd.
Auntiejessi, I’ve been pretty calm the last week or so all things considered but one thing did pop into my mind. How reliable are my other results (gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, trich) considering I was tested about 23 or so days after exposure? Is it safe to assume since they came back negative there isn’t anything aside from HSV2 to worry about? I assume HIV might not show up that early but it seems like that would be very difficult to contract?
Thanks again
Thanks again
Everything is conclusive except syphilis, which is conclusive at 6 weeks if you have no symptoms. Syphilis is uncommon in developed countries, so I wouldn't worry much about that.
You had no risk for HIV - you wore a condom for the vaginal sex, and it's not a risk from oral.
You had no risk for HIV - you wore a condom for the vaginal sex, and it's not a risk from oral.
Ok I see. That does provide peace of mind. Maybe I’ll wait another week and get the rapid test for syphilis just to be sure. The local doctor will do it with a finger prick. It is extremely interesting they can provide results for that and HIV in about 15 minutes. Of course I was in a country that is probably on the fringes of being called a developed country.
"on the fringes of being called a developed country" - maybe, but it's several weeks later, and you have no symptoms. Even if it's more common where you were, that doesn't mean you got it.
They've been doing rapid tests for a long time now. I had rapid HIV tests done in the mid 2000s.
They've been doing rapid tests for a long time now. I had rapid HIV tests done in the mid 2000s.
I see. Is syphilis unlike hsv in that there’s no way you could have it and not know? Or is it possible to have it and have minor or no symptoms?
Syphilis is fairly obvious in most people. Initial presentation is a painless sore at site of contact with infection approx 3 week after contact . So if this is external then it’s easy to see. If it’s internal (mouth, anus, vagina) not so much.
It clears on its own
Second stage it a rash 2-3 months after contact
Then it gets a bit tricky to define.
Unfortunately been painless some people pass the initial stages of as “nothing” and don’t seek treatment or testing. But by in large most have symptoms (it’s just finding it)
That all been true testing is the only way to be conclusive.
It clears on its own
Second stage it a rash 2-3 months after contact
Then it gets a bit tricky to define.
Unfortunately been painless some people pass the initial stages of as “nothing” and don’t seek treatment or testing. But by in large most have symptoms (it’s just finding it)
That all been true testing is the only way to be conclusive.
Auntjessi,
This might sound absolutely nuts but my aforementioned girlfriend just came down with an ear infection. Does that sound like anything that could be related to her herpes/herpes like infection? Obviously I’m still sweating here until the 12 week mark. Also the anxiety is driving me nuts, non specific tingling or itching for the past two months.
Also I’m not sure if they’re just BS targeted ads based upon my recent search history but I wanted to know if you saw the Moderna hsv vaccine in the works. Seems like they’re hoping it could be preventative and reduce outbreaks. Not sure if you’ve heard or read anything?
This might sound absolutely nuts but my aforementioned girlfriend just came down with an ear infection. Does that sound like anything that could be related to her herpes/herpes like infection? Obviously I’m still sweating here until the 12 week mark. Also the anxiety is driving me nuts, non specific tingling or itching for the past two months.
Also I’m not sure if they’re just BS targeted ads based upon my recent search history but I wanted to know if you saw the Moderna hsv vaccine in the works. Seems like they’re hoping it could be preventative and reduce outbreaks. Not sure if you’ve heard or read anything?
Ear infection - absolutely not. No connection.
Yes, I've heard about the Moderna hsv vaccine. There are other vaccines being researched. None have reached human trials yet, so we are years away from anything.
Don't get ahead of yourself. You don't even know if you have it.
Yes, I've heard about the Moderna hsv vaccine. There are other vaccines being researched. None have reached human trials yet, so we are years away from anything.
Don't get ahead of yourself. You don't even know if you have it.
Thanks again. I have yet another question. I’ve obviously been inspecting myself like crazy until the 12 week mark and started to get a little redness on the shaft of my penis. It is almost unnoticeable unless I’m shining a light on it and I can’t tell if they are little bumps or not. Sometimes they look like bumps. They appeared and some went away in like two days and some have kind of lingered. I guess I’m asking does herpes always present as blisters then lesions? Could this be like symptoms that occur in the beginning of an outbreak? It’s been about 6 days now
If you can't see it without shining a light on it, it's not herpes.
It may be irritation from examining yourself so often. Limit checking to once a day at most. No lights, no magnifying. If you have an outbreak, you'll see it in normal light with your naked eye.
It may be irritation from examining yourself so often. Limit checking to once a day at most. No lights, no magnifying. If you have an outbreak, you'll see it in normal light with your naked eye.
Yep it is the anxiety causing me to check multiple times a day. The anxiety has caused some tingling/burning sensations on and off for about two months now. And I can’t help but check once they go away or everytime I’m in the bathroom. And ye the redness of it is visible to the naked eye if I look in the right spot. I just couldn’t tell if they are tiny bumps or just the contour of the excess skin without getting as close as possible and shining a light.
I guess it’s a little bit of a relief to know that it’ll be pretty obvious. I’ll try and limit my checking.
I guess it’s a little bit of a relief to know that it’ll be pretty obvious. I’ll try and limit my checking.
At least give yourself a chance to know if it's irritation from checking or something else, right?
Hang in there.
Hang in there.
Yep so I eventually got the courage and made a doctor appointment for tomorrow. I can definitely see some redness without a light or magnifying glass but I can’t tell what it is. They’re almost like little patches of redness that last a day or two then go away. They are all basically located in the same spot too, under the excess skin so at first glance it appears nothings there. They definitely aren’t blisters that are filling up but I’m not sure if herpes can manifest itself in different ways for mild cases. For example just redness or tiny bumps that never progress to blistering and lesions. It’s been going on for a week but it’s driving me crazy and with my luck everyone in my family gets covid so I have to cancel the appointment.
That's some serious catastrophic thinking you have going on there.
Let me know what the doctor says. It's not herpes if the spots are going away in a day or two. Even mild symptoms would last a week.
Let me know what the doctor says. It's not herpes if the spots are going away in a day or two. Even mild symptoms would last a week.
Sorry maybe I worded that poorly. Everyone in my family did get covid so after I made the appointment I was forced to cancel it. And just to clarify the specific spots of redness seems to resolve anywhere from 1-3 days but I started noticing them about 9 days ago and each day there have been varying amounts of redness. Right now it’s very limited but the most visible which is why I was hoping to see the doctor. Unfortunately I have to quarantine for another week or so.
Ohhh sorry to hear that. Covid stinks.
You could have a fungal infection or something, but it still isn't sounding like herpes.
Stay healthy!
You could have a fungal infection or something, but it still isn't sounding like herpes.
Stay healthy!
So I’m sitting here with Covid and still can’t get my mind off of it. I have a few questions about symptomatic vs. asymptomatic infections. What % of people truly never have any symptoms? And how likely is it if you don’t have an initial outbreak you will ever have one? You read those stories about people having their first outbreak years and years after they contracted it and it just seems so unlikely.
I had a real bad initial outbreak to hsv1 years ago (it came back bad for several years as well) and the only thing that has been keeping me somewhat sane is the logic that if I had a bad outbreak for hsv1 surely I would have a bad outbreak to hsv2 if I had it.
I had a real bad initial outbreak to hsv1 years ago (it came back bad for several years as well) and the only thing that has been keeping me somewhat sane is the logic that if I had a bad outbreak for hsv1 surely I would have a bad outbreak to hsv2 if I had it.
Hey,
Sorry about your covid diagnosis! It sucks. Had it myself over a year ago and still living with the long term effects. Hope you recover soon and better than I did.
I’m regards to your question (if you are ok me answering) it’s a tricky question to answer. As in we know Herpes is common, and a lot don’t know they have it. Sometimes that’s because they are truly asymptomatic other is they have minor symptoms that are missed. Other had it as a child and never reccured (hsv1)
The fact you have hsv1 gives you slight but not complete protection against hsv2. It could also make the initials breakout of hsv2 somewhat slightly milder than someone without hsv1 but that’s all it’s and buts as you could equally get a bad first outbreak.
In direct response to your question on reading studies and talking to medial professions i guess circa 80% of people with newly acquired HSV will show symptoms some mild others severe. This is my own personal opinion and not fact, but still based on some science.
Sorry about your covid diagnosis! It sucks. Had it myself over a year ago and still living with the long term effects. Hope you recover soon and better than I did.
I’m regards to your question (if you are ok me answering) it’s a tricky question to answer. As in we know Herpes is common, and a lot don’t know they have it. Sometimes that’s because they are truly asymptomatic other is they have minor symptoms that are missed. Other had it as a child and never reccured (hsv1)
The fact you have hsv1 gives you slight but not complete protection against hsv2. It could also make the initials breakout of hsv2 somewhat slightly milder than someone without hsv1 but that’s all it’s and buts as you could equally get a bad first outbreak.
In direct response to your question on reading studies and talking to medial professions i guess circa 80% of people with newly acquired HSV will show symptoms some mild others severe. This is my own personal opinion and not fact, but still based on some science.
Thank you for responding. I am recovering well from covid, just mild symptoms so far.
Yes I kind of assumed it was a high % of people with newly acquired hsv2 would show symptoms. I just can’t imagine I wouldn’t be in that percentage.
Your second to last paragraph is what concerns me and it’s where my thinking was at. From reading it seems like most people suffer the most during their initial outbreak and then they get less severe. Since I had no initial outbreak I’m afraid that one day I’m going to get an outbreak, months or years after acquiring hsv2.
One of my dilemmas is whether or not to get tested again. If I test positive and as a result it becomes clear I gave someone else HsV2 I will struggle mentally for a very long time. On the other hand if all I have is a negative test at 3 weeks and no outbreaks ever I can sort of mentally dodge the face that I could’ve given someone hsv2.
Obviously this is a moot point if I go get tested and it comes back negative at the 12 week mark but my brain constantly alternates between having it and not having it as well as getting tested vs. not getting tested again.
Yes I kind of assumed it was a high % of people with newly acquired hsv2 would show symptoms. I just can’t imagine I wouldn’t be in that percentage.
Your second to last paragraph is what concerns me and it’s where my thinking was at. From reading it seems like most people suffer the most during their initial outbreak and then they get less severe. Since I had no initial outbreak I’m afraid that one day I’m going to get an outbreak, months or years after acquiring hsv2.
One of my dilemmas is whether or not to get tested again. If I test positive and as a result it becomes clear I gave someone else HsV2 I will struggle mentally for a very long time. On the other hand if all I have is a negative test at 3 weeks and no outbreaks ever I can sort of mentally dodge the face that I could’ve given someone hsv2.
Obviously this is a moot point if I go get tested and it comes back negative at the 12 week mark but my brain constantly alternates between having it and not having it as well as getting tested vs. not getting tested again.
Dadz is right - we don't really know. There was a study done years ago that suggested 80% of those with hsv2 didn't get symptoms, or had really mild symptoms, but then we learned that a good chunk of people get false positives on the hsv2 IgG, and we don't know how many of those asymptomatic people had false positives.
I know you're sort of a captive audience right now, but get some ebooks or video games or watch Netflix or something. You are going to make yourself insane.
I know you're sort of a captive audience right now, but get some ebooks or video games or watch Netflix or something. You are going to make yourself insane.
Oh I’ve been going nuts for the last two months, and this isn’t helping. If I can work up the courage to get tested at 12 weeks it is the only way out of it. Unfortunately if it’s positive it can start a whole bigger mess. Especially because my girlfriend is having what appears to be the beginning of another outbreak and she just mentioned she hasn’t felt quite normal since her initial outbreak. She’s been on a suppression of Valtrex for the last month and a half or so. I guess my new questions are, how effective is Valtrex suppression? And how long would it take for someone to feel normal again after their initial outbreak? Her initial outbreak did seem quite severe.
Okay, so I'm confused - your gf is one of the 3 you mention in your first post, right? Or is that the one you live with now? Or are those the same person?
Whoever she is to you, Valtrex works pretty well at suppression, but if she's newly infected, it can take some time to calm down. If she has covid, it may take longer. Her body is trying to fight 2 things.
And listen, we aren't going through all this for 12 weeks for you not to test lol.
Whoever she is to you, Valtrex works pretty well at suppression, but if she's newly infected, it can take some time to calm down. If she has covid, it may take longer. Her body is trying to fight 2 things.
And listen, we aren't going through all this for 12 weeks for you not to test lol.
My gf is the third of the three I mention in my first post. We do live together as well. She was the one I slept with who then she showed symptoms about a week later.
Yes I hear ya lol. I’ll need some motivation to test. It is going to be a tough thing to live with if I test positive (and not because of the physical symptoms).
Yes I hear ya lol. I’ll need some motivation to test. It is going to be a tough thing to live with if I test positive (and not because of the physical symptoms).
Okay, so you have hsv1. I'm sure we've been over all this before, but do you give your gf oral sex? You could have given her ghsv1 that way, and it would have nothing to do with the other women.
Did your gf get a culture? If she has fresh sores, she should get that done. A PCR swab would be best. I know everyone is infectious now with covid, but getting that swabbed and typed is her best hope for the most accurate diagnosis.
Did your gf get a culture? If she has fresh sores, she should get that done. A PCR swab would be best. I know everyone is infectious now with covid, but getting that swabbed and typed is her best hope for the most accurate diagnosis.
Yep that is the problem. Haven’t given her oral sex in quite some time (years). So it’s unlikely it’s hsv1. She did get a culture during her first outbreak but it was negative. Most likely due to timing issues. She was in serious pain when she went and it was maybe 2 days after her pain was apparent.
The only thing it can seem to possibly be is HSV2, despite how unlikely it is from a one time protected encounter. The whole thing is a bizarre set of percentages that seemed to play out in the oddest/worst way possible.
The odds of infection had to be low, then she gets it after one encounter while I’m asymptomatic, then all but the igm test were negative (which we know is useless but of course it’s positive). So she’s kind of left in limbo.
I suppose it could be something entirely different and unrelated but I can’t imagine her OBGYN is that off base.
The only thing it can seem to possibly be is HSV2, despite how unlikely it is from a one time protected encounter. The whole thing is a bizarre set of percentages that seemed to play out in the oddest/worst way possible.
The odds of infection had to be low, then she gets it after one encounter while I’m asymptomatic, then all but the igm test were negative (which we know is useless but of course it’s positive). So she’s kind of left in limbo.
I suppose it could be something entirely different and unrelated but I can’t imagine her OBGYN is that off base.
"Yep that is the problem. Haven’t given her oral sex in quite some time (years)." - I remember that now.
So she is going through all this and you may not test? Has she not asked you about how she got herpes?
So she is going through all this and you may not test? Has she not asked you about how she got herpes?
No she hasn’t asked how she got it. The doctor officially diagnosed her with hsv1 since it is the only thing that makes sense. Both of our tests were negative except mine for hsv1. I’m also asymptomatic so the blame isn’t really pointing in my direction at this point. Obviously I am thinking the negative tests are just timing issues because this all happened so so fast.
If/when they discover it is hsv2 I am not sure how they will respond. My guess is they’ll blame her first test as flawed and assume she’s had it forever.
And the only reason I wouldn’t get tested is because of the horrible guilt I’ll feel once it is actually confirmed. Living with the guilt for the rest of my life will be awful. I know it’s my fault I just have trouble believing this is actually happening after a one time protected encounter and can’t blame anyone but myself.
If/when they discover it is hsv2 I am not sure how they will respond. My guess is they’ll blame her first test as flawed and assume she’s had it forever.
And the only reason I wouldn’t get tested is because of the horrible guilt I’ll feel once it is actually confirmed. Living with the guilt for the rest of my life will be awful. I know it’s my fault I just have trouble believing this is actually happening after a one time protected encounter and can’t blame anyone but myself.
What if is hsv2, and she's had it forever? What if you didn't actually give it to her?
Aren't you already living with guilt? Wouldn't you want to know that you didn't give her this?
Just things to think about.
Aren't you already living with guilt? Wouldn't you want to know that you didn't give her this?
Just things to think about.
The problem is it’s unlikely she’s had it forever considering she had a negative igg test during her breakout.
I’m not sure what’s more unlikely, her having it this whole time or this whole whacky series of events that maybe led to her getting it.
And yes already living with guilt. My initial hope was that it would subside once she stopped being symptomatic. Obviously that hasn’t happened though as she seems to be in a little discomfort right now. Also I keep sitting here with anxiety for myself, waiting for my outbreak.
That’s really the only thing that gives me hope that I don’t have it. I can’t imagine despite all this I’m one of the lucky ones who doesn’t show symptoms. I’m just confused how some people can be in so much pain and other people can be totally normal, not even realizing that they have it.
I’m not sure what’s more unlikely, her having it this whole time or this whole whacky series of events that maybe led to her getting it.
And yes already living with guilt. My initial hope was that it would subside once she stopped being symptomatic. Obviously that hasn’t happened though as she seems to be in a little discomfort right now. Also I keep sitting here with anxiety for myself, waiting for my outbreak.
That’s really the only thing that gives me hope that I don’t have it. I can’t imagine despite all this I’m one of the lucky ones who doesn’t show symptoms. I’m just confused how some people can be in so much pain and other people can be totally normal, not even realizing that they have it.
Okay, don't forget that what she has may not be herpes - she didn't have a positive swab, did she? I'm sorry I'm forgetting this, but there's been so much covered and this thread is so long now it's hard to find things.
Herpes is just one of those conditions that affect people differently. Think about covid - two people with similar health could have absolutely different symptoms, different levels of discomfort, and be sicker for different lengths of time. Herpes is similar in that way.
Are you out of quarantine yet? Go do something. Get off the computer, get outside. Go do something with your family. :)
Herpes is just one of those conditions that affect people differently. Think about covid - two people with similar health could have absolutely different symptoms, different levels of discomfort, and be sicker for different lengths of time. Herpes is similar in that way.
Are you out of quarantine yet? Go do something. Get off the computer, get outside. Go do something with your family. :)
Nope her swab was negative, but I’m assuming she went too late for an accurate swab. It’s wild how these tests are so bad.
Almost out of quarantine. Hopefully this gets a little better once I can leave the house again.
Almost out of quarantine. Hopefully this gets a little better once I can leave the house again.
We have better tests than the culture, her doctor just didn't know to do them.
There is a PCR/DNA swab that is far more sensitive, and can be done when the sores aren't perfectly fresh. It's the best way to detect herpes - a PCR swab on a sore. It can tell you what type you have where.
Also, lots of people wait too long to get seen by a doctor. If you have a sore on your genitals, get in somewhere ASAP. They are most accurate within 24-72 hours of them appearing if doing a regular culture.
The next time your gf gets a sore, she should get it PCR swabbed ASAP. If you get anymore red spots, a PCR swab can be done on you, too.
There is a PCR/DNA swab that is far more sensitive, and can be done when the sores aren't perfectly fresh. It's the best way to detect herpes - a PCR swab on a sore. It can tell you what type you have where.
Also, lots of people wait too long to get seen by a doctor. If you have a sore on your genitals, get in somewhere ASAP. They are most accurate within 24-72 hours of them appearing if doing a regular culture.
The next time your gf gets a sore, she should get it PCR swabbed ASAP. If you get anymore red spots, a PCR swab can be done on you, too.
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When you tested, are you sure you tested for herpes? Did you get copies of your results?
The hsv1 IgG test, if you did get a type specific IgG test, misses 30% of infections. The hsv2 IgG misses 8%.
What does "questionable sexual health" mean, exactly? Are they sex workers?
When did all of this happen, and how long after the encounters did you test?
The hsv1 IgG test, if you did get a type specific IgG test, misses 30% of infections. The hsv2 IgG misses 8%.
What does "questionable sexual health" mean, exactly? Are they sex workers?
When did all of this happen, and how long after the encounters did you test?
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Yes I am sure I was tested for herpes. As HSV1 came up positive (which I expected) and hsv2 came up negative. I tested 8-10 days after the encounters. Yes the women were sex workers but in my idiotic head I justified it because they were more like high end escorts than what I typically envision.
Thanks again for your reply
Thanks again for your reply
Okay, good - you have hsv1. Well, good in that you can't get that again genitally from oral sex most likely, unless you get oral from someone who has active symptoms.
Now, it's possible that you were infectious, and you gave them genital herpes type 1 if you gave them oral. If you didn't give them oral, it's unlikely that you were the source.
You will need to test again at 12 weeks. It can take that long to develop antibodies to hsv2. It is possible that you got it from one of the sex workers and gave it to the 3rd woman. It's also possible that the 3rd woman got it from someone else.
Any woman - escort or not - can have an STD. Escorts often take more care to use condoms than other women, since not having an STD is very important for their livelihoods. You would be very unlikely to get herpes from a one time protected encounter. It's obviously not impossible, just not likely at all.
Let us know what happens.
Now, it's possible that you were infectious, and you gave them genital herpes type 1 if you gave them oral. If you didn't give them oral, it's unlikely that you were the source.
You will need to test again at 12 weeks. It can take that long to develop antibodies to hsv2. It is possible that you got it from one of the sex workers and gave it to the 3rd woman. It's also possible that the 3rd woman got it from someone else.
Any woman - escort or not - can have an STD. Escorts often take more care to use condoms than other women, since not having an STD is very important for their livelihoods. You would be very unlikely to get herpes from a one time protected encounter. It's obviously not impossible, just not likely at all.
Let us know what happens.
Thank you. I just heard back from the 3rd woman who just heard back from her doctor. Her and I have been exclusive for quite some time and from what I was told she tested negative for long term antibodies to both hsv1 and hsv2. It seems extremely unlikely she wouldn’t have them for at least hsv1, as I know I’ve had it for the entirety of our relationship (at least 5 years at this point.) The doctor did tell her that she has hsv antibodies that were new but they couldn’t tell which version just yet. The culture is due back in the next few days. I didn’t perform any oral sex on her so it seems pretty clear that I must’ve gotten hsv2 without any symptoms and a week later passed it on to her. It seems wild to me it could happen that quickly and without symptoms. The only other scenario I could envision is getting hcv1 on my penis after receiving unprotected oral and then passing that onto her? But that seems unlikely. It is all extremely confusing and obviously a horrible feeling.
Okay, so it sounds like she got a positive IgM test. That looks for "new" antibodies.
That is extremely unreliable. It is wrong at least as often as it is correct, and some experts believe it is wrong at least 80-90% of the time. The CDC and every expert in the field say it should not be done. You should ignore that test.
What are her symptoms? Does she have blisters?
There is a possibility of you having a new hsv2 infection and transmitted that to your girlfriend, but that's going to take some time to find out.
Did your gf's doctor type her culture? I'd want to make sure of that.
That is extremely unreliable. It is wrong at least as often as it is correct, and some experts believe it is wrong at least 80-90% of the time. The CDC and every expert in the field say it should not be done. You should ignore that test.
What are her symptoms? Does she have blisters?
There is a possibility of you having a new hsv2 infection and transmitted that to your girlfriend, but that's going to take some time to find out.
Did your gf's doctor type her culture? I'd want to make sure of that.
Thank you. That is interesting and probably makes sense as to why the results are a bit confusing, for example her not having at least hsv1. From what I was told she had bumps or lesions(I assume they were blisters first) and extreme itchiness. No painful urinating. I’m not sure what you mean by type her culture but the results of her culture will be back Monday at the latest and she was told it would most likely be hsv 1 or 2 but could also be inconclusive, which I imagine would complicate matters further. Is there anything else that behaves similarly?
Type her culture means to determine which it is - type 1 or type 2. This will help you determine a few things - if you could have given it to her via oral (if you've ever given her oral), if it's something that might have come from the sex workers, or in the future, if you both have the same type, if you have to worry about transmission.
Inconclusive means that they might not have been able to get enough fluid from a sore to be able to test, so either she didn't have blisters, or they had started healing by the time she got into the doctor.
Yes, a lot of things act similarly - herpes is often confused with yeast infections, syphilis (though the timing rules that out), bacterial vaginosis, irritation from shaving, folliculitis (infected hair follicles) - there's a long list.
https://www.emedicinehealth.com/what_can_be_mistaken_for_genital_herpes/article_em.htm
Some of these are a stretch - bug bites, for example - and some things look very different from herpes, like molluscum and genital warts, but doctors often confuse them, especially if they don't see them a lot.
Inconclusive means that they might not have been able to get enough fluid from a sore to be able to test, so either she didn't have blisters, or they had started healing by the time she got into the doctor.
Yes, a lot of things act similarly - herpes is often confused with yeast infections, syphilis (though the timing rules that out), bacterial vaginosis, irritation from shaving, folliculitis (infected hair follicles) - there's a long list.
https://www.emedicinehealth.com/what_can_be_mistaken_for_genital_herpes/article_em.htm
Some of these are a stretch - bug bites, for example - and some things look very different from herpes, like molluscum and genital warts, but doctors often confuse them, especially if they don't see them a lot.
Ok I see. Yes we should find out about the type either tomorrow or Monday. At this point I’m just praying somehow hsv1 made its way down there.
I’m just still baffled by how the chain of events unfolded so quickly. If I read your earlier comments correctly protected sex is unlikely but not impossible and unprotected oral isn’t a big risk for hsv2 transmission. Yet all it took was one of these events. Then for me to be asymptomatic and then to transmit it in one shot. I know you reap what you sow but that all seems like a lot of things had to go wrong for it to be transmitted that way.
I’m just still baffled by how the chain of events unfolded so quickly. If I read your earlier comments correctly protected sex is unlikely but not impossible and unprotected oral isn’t a big risk for hsv2 transmission. Yet all it took was one of these events. Then for me to be asymptomatic and then to transmit it in one shot. I know you reap what you sow but that all seems like a lot of things had to go wrong for it to be transmitted that way.
If I read your earlier comments correctly protected sex is unlikely but not impossible -
Yes, this is correct.
unprotected oral isn’t a big risk for hsv2 transmission. -
This is also correct. I'd say that getting hsv2 from protected sex is more likely than hsv2 from oral, but neither are all that likely.
Then for me to be asymptomatic and then to transmit it in one shot. -
Yes, this also makes it very strange.
The only thing we aren't factoring in is if one of the CSWs had an active outbreak of hsv2 that you didn't see. That increases the chances of you getting it, whether genital or oral.
Is it possible that while you were with CSWs, she also cheated?
The other possibility is that this isn't herpes and is something else. When do her results come back?
Yes, this is correct.
unprotected oral isn’t a big risk for hsv2 transmission. -
This is also correct. I'd say that getting hsv2 from protected sex is more likely than hsv2 from oral, but neither are all that likely.
Then for me to be asymptomatic and then to transmit it in one shot. -
Yes, this also makes it very strange.
The only thing we aren't factoring in is if one of the CSWs had an active outbreak of hsv2 that you didn't see. That increases the chances of you getting it, whether genital or oral.
Is it possible that while you were with CSWs, she also cheated?
The other possibility is that this isn't herpes and is something else. When do her results come back?
Her results come back Monday. It is extremely unlikely she slept with someone else between her work schedule and personal commitments but not impossible I suppose. I guess we’ll see Monday.
Okay, so take the weekend off from researching and reading. Let me know what her results are.
Just try to de-stress this weekend.
Just try to de-stress this weekend.
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You are reading content posted in the Herpes Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
