Likeliness of HSV-1?

[Mo_230]

Hi, last night I had an encounter with a high risk female. She gave me a protected blowjob for about 7 minutes. The condom I had a revealed about an inch of skin of my shaft near the base so it wasn’t fully covered. My concern is while she was giving me a blowjob her saliva would slip down past the condom touching my skin, and she used her hands as well so she’s touching the exposed area and would often stroke my shaft causing her to massage her spit into my skin. I didn’t see any visible sores near her mouth and I asked her afterwards if she experiences any cold sores, she said no. But I’m still worried that this was a risky encounter.

What are my chances of getting HSV-1 on my genitals from this encounter?

[Mo_230]

Hi, an update, I’ve been extremely stressed since last week per usual. Today is day 8 since the encounter, I spent the past 8 days under the covers researching everything I can about HSV, my anxiety mixed in me being in a hot climate in my room under the sheets produced a lot heat and sweat and has been that way for about a week.

4 days ago I noticed mild tingling or itching and mild burning in the pubic mount area. Light tingling as well that would come and go in the urethra as well as different areas throughout the genital area. This only gave me more anxiety, I knew that anxiety plays weird games but the anxiety was still there. 3 days ago I had a sore lower back which worried me because I read that as a symptom of an outbreak and it took about 24-48 hours to get rid of. After the first 12 hours my lower back would be sore only if I was thinking about it, I noticed if I was occupied or asleep my back would not hurt at all.

Also 3 days ago I noticed redness on my inner right thigh, next to my testicles. While experiencing itchiness it would be on the pubic mount or left area and occasionally on the right side where the redness is but that’s about it. I would press down or rub the area and there was no pain just mild discomfort after playing with the area, and of course I couldn’t help myself constantly touching the area trying to feel if something is coming. I would check the area very often but it’s 3 days now and no leisons, cuts, bruises, blisters, and no pain at touch.

Since yesterday my anxiety has calmed down and I’ve noticed less random tingling, less mild itching and burning, also my back would not really bother me unless of the occasional mild discomfort here and there (hoping that goes away soon).

I’m not sure what this redness is, it’s weird. The area doesn’t itch and is not painful, only mild discomfort and mild burning after I physically examine the area. All my previous symptoms that I explained poses a concern for herpes but it’s been 4 days and besides the redness there is nothing physically there.

What has been going the past 4 days??


Also, I have spoken to my doctor about my anxiety and fear of this, she recommended help but I can’t afford someone to talk to, and I’ve decided to be done with making any bad decisions going forward to avoid being drowned in stress, anxiety, and paranoia.

[auntiejessi]

So you've spent 8 days in bed. Have you showered? Eaten? Gone to work/school?

Your skin is red because you've spent 8 days poking and prodding at it, and sweating, maybe not showering.

You barely had any risk for herpes, and you may already have hsv1 already.

So take this in the spirit of tough love: Get out of bed. Shower. Dress. Call friends. Get dinner. I don't care if it's McDonalds or a fancy restaurant, but leave the house.

Stop examining your skin. Leave it alone. Just like your back doesn't hurt when you aren't thinking about it, your skin will stop when you stop playing with it.

I don't know what it is you fear about herpes, but I've had it for 20 years and never once spent 8 days in bed. Your fear of it is worse than having it.

Some people aren't made for having casual sex. That's okay. We're all different. I can't do casual sex. I used to when I was a lot younger, and as I got older, I realized I couldn't. It's okay. Do what works for you.

Just get out of the bed and go outside. Take a walk. You didn't get herpes.

[Mo_230]

Yea I’ve showered everyday and only worked 3 days of the week, also it was spring break so no school lol. I just meant that 75% of my free time I was home in bed.

I don’t have hsv1 I took 4 igg blood tests since my first scare in 2020 and all were good, also not a single recollection of cold sores.

Thank you for answering my question and addressing my concerns, you have no idea what a big help you are to me and this community.

If it’s not a big ask, do you know what the redness could be from most likely or is it only because my skin is irritated? Also I forgot to mention most of the time the mild itching was in my groin/testical area.

I’ve heard if you were to get an outbreak it would be on the location of where ur skin was exposed to it, which is my shaft and only about a half inch of it. Is that true? I’m only asking because I felt nothing on that area of my shaft the past 8 days.

[auntiejessi]

Okay, so you're in college? Does your school have a counseling center? Call them. Make an appointment. Many college counseling centers are free. Find out today if yours is.

I know you said you've been tested a number of times, but remember that the test misses 30% of infections. Once it misses yours, it will likely to continue to miss it. You might not have it, or you might. We don't know if you do or not, not really. Your going into this assuming you don't. Odds are you do, but we don't know. 90% of those with hsv1 orally never get a single symptom.

I'd say your symptoms are from checking your skin over and over, and just irritating the hell out of it.

It is likely that you'd get an outbreak at the point of infection, but also, that if you have a true primary infection - no antibodies, brand new infection, you'd have a lot of sores, and it wouldn't be just in that one spot.

Your risk was so, so low, and you have spent way too much time freaking out about it.

Go do college guy things. Hang out with your friends. Play video games. Do your homework. I'm sorry that you spent your spring break in bed freaking out about this. Just let this go.

[Mo_230]

Thank you for answering Jessi, I just have a few more concerns. I don’t mean to intrude, I saw the CDC and WHO and other sites state that HSV1 is transmittable through saliva, and that the virus could be found in saliva which causes confusion because on here there are many post stating that hsv1 to genital transmission through saliva alone never happens.

Also, I’m aware that sharing drinks, utensils can put you at risk for hsv1, This confuses me as well because direct skin to skin contact would not have been needed for this.

These are just the few confusions I would love cleared up, since I can’t really put all my trust in online sources because of the conflicting viewpoints. You’re an expert in this forum and would value your opinion on this post. Please and thank you!

P.S: yea I’ve spoken to my doctor about my anxiety of STDs and she emphasized on wearing condoms to reduce risk as well as protecting exposed skin. I try my best, I wear boxers if I feel the encounter is potentially unsafe and XL magnums which still reveal about half an inch to an inch of exposed skin due to my size.

[auntiejessi]

The CDC and WHO are very, very cautious and say things that can happen in theory.

If saliva passes over a sore, and picks up virus, then yes, it may be possible to transmit the virus.

Your partner had no sores on her lips for that to happen.

I could not find anything where the CDC or WHO mention drinks, eating utensils, straws, etc. The only possibility of transmission from sharing anything is lipstick/lip balm because it is capped and stays moist.

I wouldn't share drinks, eating utensils, etc., now, but it's cold/flu/covid season (it will always be covid season), and I don't like being sick. I have long covid, and I can't stress enough how much more it's affected my body and my life far more than herpes ever has. I'd take my hsv2 every day of the week and twice on Sundays. So not sharing those things is reasonable, but herpes shouldn't be your fear.

I suspect your fear is based on stigma, and not the reality of having an STI. No one wants an STI, but the stigma is stupid. You're doing everything you can, and I can promise you that if some guy wanted to wear boxers when having sex with me, it would be game over. I understand your anxiety, but consider how you're making your partners feel. If you think someone is "high risk", maybe don't have sex with them.

If you have a larger penis, you can order them to fit you specially. Durex makes an XXL. Google "condoms made for you" to find companies that make condoms based on your size.

[auntiejessi]

I don't know what you mean by "high risk female", but there is no such thing with hsv1. 67% of the global population under 50 has hsv1, and it makes no difference if she's a virgin or a CSW - the odds of her having it are the same as anyone else.

Have you ever tested for hsv1? The odds are the same for you. The majority of people who have it never get symptoms. While the blood test misses a full 30% of infections, it's the only way to know if you might have it.

Hsv1 is not spread by saliva but by direct contact. If her lips touched your uncovered skin, there is a chance of transmission. We do not have transmission studies on hsv1, so I can't give you odds.

You seem to have quite a bit of anxiety around sex - pregnancy, STIs. Having encounters with "high risk females" or having unprotected sex, even with girlfriends, certainly won't help that.

[Mo_230]

Yes, I’ve tested for both HSV1 and 2 a year ago last time I had a scare, I’ve tested consistently ever since 2020. She was a CSW and no her lips did not touch my skin it was only her saliva that dripped down to my skin and her giving a handjob with her saliva and the exposed part of my skin

[Mo_230]

I just need to know if I should worry about this encounter, I made sure to be very careful, covered most of my genital area except that one inch of skin on my shaft that was exposed. It only occurred to me after that her saliva could be contagious, or if she had cold sores inside her mouth and her saliva ran through it. I would doubt she’d work if she has an active outbreak if she even has herpes

[auntiejessi]

Cold sores are not inside the mouth, they are on the lips.

You could have hsv1 and the test could miss it every single time. It misses 30% of infections.

I wouldn't worry about this. Saliva doesn't transmit herpes, and CSWs don't have any higher or a chance of having hsv1 than anyone else does.

Experts don't think one act of oral sex warrants testing, even if you didn't use a condom. You did. This is really low risk.

Have you ever talked to your doctor about your anxiety? Maybe you should.