Avatar universal

Really worried now

Was with a couple, hsv2+, sat night. They were going at it and I was nude on the bed masturbating. I used the lube they did and I stroked her thighs with my alternate hand occasionally. I figured this was safe activity.  We were at it for about three hours before he revealed he had an outbreak.

@GracefromHHP said "Yes indeed you can still transmit some std's without actual penetration.  You have hot and heavy naked foreplay for several hours with someone and yes there is a risk of transmitting herpes or hpv.  Not very much chance with the bacterial std's though."

Grace, how screwed am I? I didn't rub my parts on either of them at all, and didn't have any direct contact with him. They also stopped to shower twice.
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207091 tn?1337709493
Grace hasn't been on the site in years, but I can promise you that you had absolutely no risk.

By heavy foreplay, it's meant heavy rubbing or grinding with no clothes on.

Seriously, herpes isn't as easily transmitted as you seem to think.

If you are in a long term relationship with a female who has hsv2, and you have unprotected sex with her, 2-3x a week, and all you do is avoid sex when she has outbreaks, your chances of getting it are 4% a year.

If you add condoms OR she uses suppressive daily meds, like Valtrex, it's 2% a year. If both are used, it's about 1%.

Your hands don't transmit it. Someone who has it doesn't transmit it by hands. It's possible that a toy might transmit it, but that's a very, very low chance.

You touching someone's thigh won't transmit it.

Using the same lube they do won't transmit it.

You have to have your genitals touch their genitals, and have heavy rubbing or grinding, usually the kind associated with intercourse.

If you give someone with genital hsv2 oral sex, it is possible that you can get oral hsv2. It's not likely, but it's possible.

If you have oral hsv1 - think cold sores - you can give that person genital hsv1. You can transmit this without a cold sore being present.

67% of people under 50 have oral hsv1 globally. Even if you've never had a cold sore, you might be one of them. It's very common.

I don't know why you are so freaked out about herpes. I don't know if you are going outside of a relationship, or just generally freaked out about herpes.  There's no need to be this scared.
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Avatar universal
Answers from @auntijessi or anyone else are appreciated.  And yes, I'm ending this sort of activity with these two.
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