new partner is worried

[mlw1979]

I recently met a man I'm very interested in, and I have always been candid withm potential partners about my HSV1 condition. Now, he has admitted that he is generally ignorant about any of this so I'm trying to help him get the answers he needs. I've had genital HSV1 for 10 years. I had an initial outbreak which is when I was diagnosed. Since then there have been no reoccurances. I read somewhere that the longer you go without an outbreak the smaller the chance is to pass it to a partner.  I've been with a couple men since my diagnosis (including my ex husband whom I have a chid by) and no one has contracted the virus from me even with unprotected sex. Basiclly, Im looking to put is mind at ease a bit over the situaton. Can anyone help with suggestions or facts I can pass on to him?

Thanks

[gracefromHHP]

It's lower in general just because they have less soft mucosal skin compared to females.  

grace

[mlw1979]

We are going to have testing done together,I already suggesed that to him, and I don't have anything going on genitally ever.I am careful to be sure and check regularly. It's easy to say I am very aware of what is going on with my body but, naturally, he is uneasy about the situation. Isn't it also true that transmission from a woman to a man is less likely?

[gracefromHHP]

www.westoverheights.com is a terrific website with info you can pass on to your partner. There is also the herpes section at www.ashastd.org too. Look them both over and decide if you want to pass on both of them or just one of them to your partner for more reading.

Has your partner been tested to know his own herpes status? if not then that's the next step.  You two can't make educated decisions about what precautions to take until you both know who has what.

We don't have long term infection shedding studies for hsv1 genitally like we do hsv2 genitally to really know if you are shedding less the longer you are infected or not. In general hsv1 genitally doesn't shed very often so odds of transmitting it to a partner are overall low as long as you avoid sex anytime you have something going on genitally. The majority of adults have hsv1 orally, whether they get obvious cold sores or not, which is why testing is important. Also if your partner has hsv2 and never knew it, you can still contract it which would result in an increase in ob's and increase in shedding too for you.

grace