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Herpes Risk
In August of 2021 I started having unprotected sex with partner who claimed to be negative. This has been my only partner since, including kissing.
To date, I have had 3 rounds of clean HSV 1/2 tests. 1 being the western blot.
Partner and I were separate for 3 months. We reconnected and have had penetrative and oral sex & this is heterosexual. I’d say Lots of kissing during sex.
We got tested two days ago. iGG hsv 1/2 clear for me. His hsv 1 was 40.60. He says he never has had an outbreak.
I’ve never seen any lesions during my time with him. Is it likely he had this before I met him and his transmission rates
To date, I have had 3 rounds of clean HSV 1/2 tests. 1 being the western blot.
Partner and I were separate for 3 months. We reconnected and have had penetrative and oral sex & this is heterosexual. I’d say Lots of kissing during sex.
We got tested two days ago. iGG hsv 1/2 clear for me. His hsv 1 was 40.60. He says he never has had an outbreak.
I’ve never seen any lesions during my time with him. Is it likely he had this before I met him and his transmission rates
COMMUNITY LEADER
Why did you get a Western Blot?
It's likely he's had hsv1 for a long time. His result - 40.60 - suggests that it isn't a new infection, though that's not hard science.
The hsv1 IgG test misses a full 30% of infections. If you hadn't gotten the WB, I'd tell you it's possible that you had it, too, and didn't know it because the hsv1 test is so unreliable.
His hsv1 is statistically oral, though we have no real way of knowing that. This means that he is most likely infectious only from his mouth via kissing and oral sex.
Unfortunately, we do not have transmission rates for this. It hasn't been studied the way that hsv2 has been.
We do know that 67% of people under 50 have hsv1 globally. The vast majority of them - probably upwards of 90% - never get outbreaks. Your parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc., are quite likely to have it, too.
Over 50, the number goes up to about 80% as you age.
I don't mean to freak you out. I'm just saying that hsv1 is common enough to not rule this person out for dating if it is someone that you really care about. You'd have a hard time finding someone who doesn't have it, or who can reliably confirm that they don't have it, unless they take the WB. That's an expensive test to take, as you know.
If it concerns you, your partner can take daily suppressive meds to help reduce the risk of transmission. They haven't been studied in hsv1, but it's assumed that they work the same as they do with hsv2. Unless he has established kidney disease, they are safe. Talk to him about it. Ultimately, it's his decision on whether to take any medication, though.
It's likely he's had hsv1 for a long time. His result - 40.60 - suggests that it isn't a new infection, though that's not hard science.
The hsv1 IgG test misses a full 30% of infections. If you hadn't gotten the WB, I'd tell you it's possible that you had it, too, and didn't know it because the hsv1 test is so unreliable.
His hsv1 is statistically oral, though we have no real way of knowing that. This means that he is most likely infectious only from his mouth via kissing and oral sex.
Unfortunately, we do not have transmission rates for this. It hasn't been studied the way that hsv2 has been.
We do know that 67% of people under 50 have hsv1 globally. The vast majority of them - probably upwards of 90% - never get outbreaks. Your parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc., are quite likely to have it, too.
Over 50, the number goes up to about 80% as you age.
I don't mean to freak you out. I'm just saying that hsv1 is common enough to not rule this person out for dating if it is someone that you really care about. You'd have a hard time finding someone who doesn't have it, or who can reliably confirm that they don't have it, unless they take the WB. That's an expensive test to take, as you know.
If it concerns you, your partner can take daily suppressive meds to help reduce the risk of transmission. They haven't been studied in hsv1, but it's assumed that they work the same as they do with hsv2. Unless he has established kidney disease, they are safe. Talk to him about it. Ultimately, it's his decision on whether to take any medication, though.
9 Comments
I got the western blot because my PCP administered igg/igm testing and I received a 1.23 on the igm, though igg was negative.
I waited some time and then my midwife did the western blot so I could be sure since I am pregnant.
I likely will do the western blot again since I’m pregnant, and will be for about 12-16 more weeks. Unfortunately it is really expensive:(
I would not rule out the relationship simply because hsv 1, but I would over infidelity as he said he was clean two years ago. I’m wondering if he’s had it more than 2 years as I know many panels don’t include hsv testing.
But you mentioned maybe he hasn’t since it’s not hard science that high igg means extended time having it.
It is true the longer he’s had it, the less he sheds, right? We have sex typically every day we are together so I am confused.
I waited some time and then my midwife did the western blot so I could be sure since I am pregnant.
I likely will do the western blot again since I’m pregnant, and will be for about 12-16 more weeks. Unfortunately it is really expensive:(
I would not rule out the relationship simply because hsv 1, but I would over infidelity as he said he was clean two years ago. I’m wondering if he’s had it more than 2 years as I know many panels don’t include hsv testing.
But you mentioned maybe he hasn’t since it’s not hard science that high igg means extended time having it.
It is true the longer he’s had it, the less he sheds, right? We have sex typically every day we are together so I am confused.
Also, thank you very much for your thoughtful and detailed response.
Ohh the IgM is a very unreliable test, and shouldn't be done. It's wrong at least as often as it is right, if not more.
Yes, it's true that the longer he's had it, the less he sheds, but that's really more impactful for genital hsv1 than oral hsv1. He still sheds fairly frequently with oral hsv1, even if he's had it a long time.
How often people shed varies a lot, and there's no way to know how much he's shedding. Since you're currently pregnant, the biggest concern would be for you to get infected genitally. Perhaps avoid oral sex until after you have your baby to ensure that doesn't happen, assuming it's an oral infection.
If he has it genitally, the chances it would be transmitted in the absence of symptoms are very, very low.
I don't think this one thing implies infidelity. Unfortunately, there's no way to prove it with the herpes testing we have. There's no way to know how long he's had it - it's certainly not a new infection, but longer than 6 months? Longer than 2 years? 5 years? We can't say at all.
If this is your ONLY sign that would point to cheating, it's not nearly enough. Obviously, we don't know your relationship, and the rest of it isn't our concern - you know him, you know the relationship, but this alone doesn't imply cheating.
I hope this helps. :)
Yes, it's true that the longer he's had it, the less he sheds, but that's really more impactful for genital hsv1 than oral hsv1. He still sheds fairly frequently with oral hsv1, even if he's had it a long time.
How often people shed varies a lot, and there's no way to know how much he's shedding. Since you're currently pregnant, the biggest concern would be for you to get infected genitally. Perhaps avoid oral sex until after you have your baby to ensure that doesn't happen, assuming it's an oral infection.
If he has it genitally, the chances it would be transmitted in the absence of symptoms are very, very low.
I don't think this one thing implies infidelity. Unfortunately, there's no way to prove it with the herpes testing we have. There's no way to know how long he's had it - it's certainly not a new infection, but longer than 6 months? Longer than 2 years? 5 years? We can't say at all.
If this is your ONLY sign that would point to cheating, it's not nearly enough. Obviously, we don't know your relationship, and the rest of it isn't our concern - you know him, you know the relationship, but this alone doesn't imply cheating.
I hope this helps. :)
I honestly am not sure he’s been faithful based on questionable behavior. Then, considering we had a 3+ month’s break & now his results make me question if he got it while we were on one. He said he didn’t have anu interaction with anyone.
He knows I’m pregnant (6 months) and said he hasn’t been with anyone, but now I simply cannot be sure.
My main concern is waiting to see if I am infected. I want to be clear as I enter 3rd tri soon. I am abstaining from everything for 12 weeks. No symptoms so far.
I do find it strange if he’s had it for years, why I do not.
He knows I’m pregnant (6 months) and said he hasn’t been with anyone, but now I simply cannot be sure.
My main concern is waiting to see if I am infected. I want to be clear as I enter 3rd tri soon. I am abstaining from everything for 12 weeks. No symptoms so far.
I do find it strange if he’s had it for years, why I do not.
I got hsv2 from a long term serious partner. I knew he had it from the start of the relationship, and we took no precautions, other than avoiding sex when he had symptoms. It took me 6 years to get it.
I've talked to people on here who have partners who've just found out their spouses of decades have either hsv1 or hsv2, and they don't have it themselves. It's definitely possible to never transmit it.
People with herpes don't shed every day. Unfortunately, we don't have great info on shedding rates for oral hsv1. If he has it genitally, and has had it for more than 2 years, he sheds 4 days a year outside of symptoms. It would make perfect sense that you wouldn't have it if he has it genitally.
If he has it orally, as I said above, shedding varies greatly. Some shed just a little, others shed a lot. He's asymptomatic, which means he could shed very little. Unless he went through a shedding study, he probably won't ever know. (A shedding study is where they collect PCR swabs of his mouth every day for months to determine how often he sheds, and sometimes, where he sheds from in his mouth. It's expensive to do it on your own with a doctor, and most doctors don't even know PCR swabbing exists.) Any shedding stats you see for oral hsv1 are just averages.
Obviously, you're in a rough spot here. You're pregnant, and your relationship is rocky. I'm sorry you're going through that.
If you took herpes out of it, would you think he cheated?
All you can do is go with your gut, and make the best decisions for you and your baby. If he is the father of your baby (I'm assuming he is, given the timeline), remember that if he has oral hsv1, he is infectious to your baby. He should not be kissing the baby on the mouth as a newborn. He can kiss it's cheek.
(No one should really be kissing baby on the mouth, what with covid still being a thing, RSV, the flu, colds, etc.)
I've talked to people on here who have partners who've just found out their spouses of decades have either hsv1 or hsv2, and they don't have it themselves. It's definitely possible to never transmit it.
People with herpes don't shed every day. Unfortunately, we don't have great info on shedding rates for oral hsv1. If he has it genitally, and has had it for more than 2 years, he sheds 4 days a year outside of symptoms. It would make perfect sense that you wouldn't have it if he has it genitally.
If he has it orally, as I said above, shedding varies greatly. Some shed just a little, others shed a lot. He's asymptomatic, which means he could shed very little. Unless he went through a shedding study, he probably won't ever know. (A shedding study is where they collect PCR swabs of his mouth every day for months to determine how often he sheds, and sometimes, where he sheds from in his mouth. It's expensive to do it on your own with a doctor, and most doctors don't even know PCR swabbing exists.) Any shedding stats you see for oral hsv1 are just averages.
Obviously, you're in a rough spot here. You're pregnant, and your relationship is rocky. I'm sorry you're going through that.
If you took herpes out of it, would you think he cheated?
All you can do is go with your gut, and make the best decisions for you and your baby. If he is the father of your baby (I'm assuming he is, given the timeline), remember that if he has oral hsv1, he is infectious to your baby. He should not be kissing the baby on the mouth as a newborn. He can kiss it's cheek.
(No one should really be kissing baby on the mouth, what with covid still being a thing, RSV, the flu, colds, etc.)
I wouldn’t “exactly” think he cheated, but in the first year we did have on/off again periods until we got more serious. I would absolutely suspect (or not be surprised if) he had sexual relations with other people and lied during that time.
That being said, in my heart I do believe we have reached a different place, and I don’t believe he physically cheated at any point of us actually being together.
Like you said, the toughest part is being pregnant and tbh I don’t think I could raise the child alone given my circumstance, nor would I want to.
Unfortunately there’s no way to know where he has it without any breakouts. I guess I’m in a waiting game for roughly 12 weeks.
Are there any things to do to prevent transmission if I am neg in 12 weeks?
That being said, in my heart I do believe we have reached a different place, and I don’t believe he physically cheated at any point of us actually being together.
Like you said, the toughest part is being pregnant and tbh I don’t think I could raise the child alone given my circumstance, nor would I want to.
Unfortunately there’s no way to know where he has it without any breakouts. I guess I’m in a waiting game for roughly 12 weeks.
Are there any things to do to prevent transmission if I am neg in 12 weeks?
Well, assuming he has it orally, he could take daily suppression, like valtrex, to reduce the risk. We don't have studies to see how much it would help, but we know for hsv2 it reduces it by half.
If it's oral, he would be infectious only from his mouth, meaning kissing and oral sex.
If it's genital, I wouldn't even worry about that. The only way he'd be infectious is if he had symptoms genitally.
Since you don't know, you could assume it's oral and ask that he take the meds.
I wish you the best, whatever you decide.
If it's oral, he would be infectious only from his mouth, meaning kissing and oral sex.
If it's genital, I wouldn't even worry about that. The only way he'd be infectious is if he had symptoms genitally.
Since you don't know, you could assume it's oral and ask that he take the meds.
I wish you the best, whatever you decide.
I hope it is genital, for my sake. Thanks for the help!
Anytime :)
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