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Bullies in Middle School
Hi Friends...Im frustrated and a bit angry my youngest child had yet another bad day at school was called fat ...fatty and things I cant write on here...he is a bit chubby..many in his school are some alot chubbier than him...His problem is he allows hem to bullie him he shys away...Ive tole him to say something back like yeah I might be chubby but Im not stupid and ugly like you...or arent you a little old to talk so mean and immature to people...grow up....I want to go talk to his principal hes afraid then he will be known as a rat fink and get picked on worse..
He is so sad it breks my heart.....his Dad of corse told him hes gonna have to kick some a&& if thats what has tyo happen and he gets suspended we of corse wouldnt punish him...hes 12....I dont know what to do its such an inbetween age......I was never bulllied...where any of you??? or your kids ? any good advice will be appreciated..thanks Cherie...and David thanks you too,.,,,he was crying about this today and I had to let him know hes not to big to cry its ok to cry and grown men cry too......HELP
He is so sad it breks my heart.....his Dad of corse told him hes gonna have to kick some a&& if thats what has tyo happen and he gets suspended we of corse wouldnt punish him...hes 12....I dont know what to do its such an inbetween age......I was never bulllied...where any of you??? or your kids ? any good advice will be appreciated..thanks Cherie...and David thanks you too,.,,,he was crying about this today and I had to let him know hes not to big to cry its ok to cry and grown men cry too......HELP
i agree they are seeking an reaction....we are mature enough to get that at 12 it just su cks to be called a name infront of classmates...most schools are taking bullying more serious..
teko...I attend all my kids functions wouldnt miss them they are grown too fast,,cant believe my first is about to fly the nest...he was a baby yesterday !!!
teko...I attend all my kids functions wouldnt miss them they are grown too fast,,cant believe my first is about to fly the nest...he was a baby yesterday !!!
Well I had some learning disabilities but I made sure to catch up by going to the resource rooms that were available. I did attend some after class activities such as the school poetry club. I did enjoy sports but I didn't have the physical abilities of other children so I was in adaptive phys. ed. ("special gym") and you wouldn't believe how much I got mocked for that. But instead of seeing it as something antagonistic being that all the other kids had alienated me or put me down I decided to stop thinking of the kids in that class some of whom were developmentally disabled and the like as "others" and be their friends. And I think that's how I got off to a good start. If I accepted myself and didn't put down other people for who they were, then people who put other people down for who they were, starting in school and beyond stopped seeming so important to me and after a while I stopped caring. If what the bullies do are not physical then if they know the insults they call a child will be ignored and not hurt their feelings then they won't feel they won after a while and may just give up. Its best not to react to them at all because as I said "negative attention seeking" is their problem and any attention values their cause.
It is a sad day when a boy gets suspended for defending himself when he is assaulted. I would not stand for this, I am glad your boy stood up to the bully. I don't think fighting is the right thing to do if it can be avoided, but if one is assaulted then they have the right to defend themselves.
My boys knew that if they started a fight there would be heck to pay at school and at home, but if they defended themselves, or someone else, then I would be right there for them. I am not advocating violence, but I am advocating that you do what is right by standing up for your son and not letting him be punished for this, I would be at the school in a heartbeat. I would agree that he should face a reasonable punishment for swearing , like sentences, detention, or even writing a paper on how swearing can escalate an altercation.
My boys knew that if they started a fight there would be heck to pay at school and at home, but if they defended themselves, or someone else, then I would be right there for them. I am not advocating violence, but I am advocating that you do what is right by standing up for your son and not letting him be punished for this, I would be at the school in a heartbeat. I would agree that he should face a reasonable punishment for swearing , like sentences, detention, or even writing a paper on how swearing can escalate an altercation.
I was bullied as a kid as were my own children. When my first went thru school, we were poor and could not afford extra after school curricular activit therefore he went to school and came home. We lived in a rural area where he had very little contact with other kids his age. He was a shy kid, then ended up being one of the bullies. (sort of if you cannot beat em join em mentality). I finally figured out that one of the most important things in a kid going tos chool and just as important as math is their self esteem and feeling accepted. If I had it to stress one thing about raising kids, it is to make it a priority to allow and encourage your children to take an active part in school activity, wether it be football, cheerleading or whatever and do it as soon as they start school.. They will have more self confidence and esteem and makes them feel more a part of something other than sitting on the sidelines being targeted as a reject. As a parent, take an active role in your childs activities, attending their functions, getting to know the kids and their parents in their environment. It is time consuming yes, but soooo rewarding.
i was bullied in school horribly but i did the idiot thing and fought the bully not knowing that there were others that would help the bully beat the **** out of me now of course i got them back but standng up can only go to a certain extint soon your gonna have to step in and go to the principle dont take him out of the school because then hell never learn to stand up for himself and hell always be picked on
Cherie, sounds like it went really, really well.
This too, shall pass.
;D Blessings for you and your family.
This too, shall pass.
;D Blessings for you and your family.
two things happened today....Rob went to the school to talk to the principal..who of corse was very appologetic...he called the boy "Yosief" and David down to the office after Rob had left...turns out the two had had a little fight earlier in the day...no teacher saw it but they told on their selves..Yosief ( the ring leader of the bully group) called david a fat a$$ and David got in his face and said the next time you call me that Im got kick your A$$ yep he swore though it would make his threat more tough.....the boy shoved David David gave him a right hook to the face....the bully cried infront of his bully friends...the principal mulled it over..He had called Rob bcak to the school at this point and decided Yosief will be suspended for 6 days for bullying, and fighting....David is suspended for three days for fighting...somehow the principal didnt get the part about David swearing that woulda been an extra day..so all hopefully is done...
Oftentimes at this age the child thinks they can handle it and it's under control and don't want parental involvement when, indeed, it is spiraling out of control and needs the school's intervention.
There is a zero tolerance for bullying in our district and even if you come close to crossing the line, a child will be spoken to by the guicance counselor and principal and calls made to appropriate parents if necessary.
Zero tolerance. Nothing less than that is acceptable or good enough for your son.
I'd go and have a face-to-face meeting with the administration and let them know you will settle for nothing shy of that.
Good info above, too
C~
There is a zero tolerance for bullying in our district and even if you come close to crossing the line, a child will be spoken to by the guicance counselor and principal and calls made to appropriate parents if necessary.
Zero tolerance. Nothing less than that is acceptable or good enough for your son.
I'd go and have a face-to-face meeting with the administration and let them know you will settle for nothing shy of that.
Good info above, too
C~
Cherie, how great that your son still confides in you. He knows you listen and if he gets the message that with self-confidence he will just shrug the bullies off in the long run, you will have helped him more than you know.
Also, since he seems to have a medical condition that makes him a bit heavier set than others, never mind time-consuming diets for now, just show him the posture of confidence with a straight spine, straight shoulders, firm steps and eyes that leave no doubt that he is the boss of himself. It can be learned and suddenly it becomes second nature. If the school has anti-bullying strategies in place, great, but that`s just a bonus feature.
My son had been bullied between age 2 1/2 and 3, which is a different situation of course, rather non-verbal, scratches in face, cut in ear and so on. The preschool promised to keep a closer eye on the attacker but what ultimately made a difference was: my son watched a documentary about the Orange County police at age 3 and was so impressed with the police chief that from then on he adopted the posture, gestures and way of talking he soaked up in the movie. He still uses these tactics at age 6 and nobody ever messed with him again. Sometimes it needs modeling of behavior and actions by a neutral person.
Actually, I practice anti-bullying tactics at work. The blamers, backstabbers, power-abusers, deflectors never pull their stuff on me, at least not more than once. I plan on letting my son fend for himself to be prepared for the sandbox behavior of grown-ups.
Hope you get through this alright. Communication will make it possible for you.
Also, since he seems to have a medical condition that makes him a bit heavier set than others, never mind time-consuming diets for now, just show him the posture of confidence with a straight spine, straight shoulders, firm steps and eyes that leave no doubt that he is the boss of himself. It can be learned and suddenly it becomes second nature. If the school has anti-bullying strategies in place, great, but that`s just a bonus feature.
My son had been bullied between age 2 1/2 and 3, which is a different situation of course, rather non-verbal, scratches in face, cut in ear and so on. The preschool promised to keep a closer eye on the attacker but what ultimately made a difference was: my son watched a documentary about the Orange County police at age 3 and was so impressed with the police chief that from then on he adopted the posture, gestures and way of talking he soaked up in the movie. He still uses these tactics at age 6 and nobody ever messed with him again. Sometimes it needs modeling of behavior and actions by a neutral person.
Actually, I practice anti-bullying tactics at work. The blamers, backstabbers, power-abusers, deflectors never pull their stuff on me, at least not more than once. I plan on letting my son fend for himself to be prepared for the sandbox behavior of grown-ups.
Hope you get through this alright. Communication will make it possible for you.
Cherie - I am so sorry to hear that your son has endured this! I am a middle school teacher and, unfortunately, I see it all the time. :( The GREAT news is that my school takes bullying very seriously. If there are any complaints or instances of bullying it is handled promptly and discreetly.
We actually have had more of an issue with girls this year...and girls can be RUTHLESS...so the guidance counselor and I have been doing counseling with the "Mean Girls" for several months now. It's frustrating to be sitting in a room with the 'worst offenders' and feel like you had an awesome break through with them...only to find out the same bullying happened later that day! UGH! It's disheartening. The truth of the matter is that many of these bullies have learned from their parents (or lack thereof) and it would take much more than a once a week meeting for me to change their lives.
I guess my best advice to you is to definitely talk to the school, teachers, etc...So many times I don't become aware situations until they have been going on for TOO long! Sometimes it's just as simple as moving around my seating arrangement or keeping a closer eye on hallway activity, etc...I also think it's a great idea to get your son involved in as many activities as possible to boost his self esteem. It's a tough situation all around. You're both great parents and your son is lucky to have you!
We actually have had more of an issue with girls this year...and girls can be RUTHLESS...so the guidance counselor and I have been doing counseling with the "Mean Girls" for several months now. It's frustrating to be sitting in a room with the 'worst offenders' and feel like you had an awesome break through with them...only to find out the same bullying happened later that day! UGH! It's disheartening. The truth of the matter is that many of these bullies have learned from their parents (or lack thereof) and it would take much more than a once a week meeting for me to change their lives.
I guess my best advice to you is to definitely talk to the school, teachers, etc...So many times I don't become aware situations until they have been going on for TOO long! Sometimes it's just as simple as moving around my seating arrangement or keeping a closer eye on hallway activity, etc...I also think it's a great idea to get your son involved in as many activities as possible to boost his self esteem. It's a tough situation all around. You're both great parents and your son is lucky to have you!
Sara I hugged him so good last night I tod him I love him and said theres a lot of people in this world who love you David some you havent even met yet ,,,,your life is just beginning your smart and strong dont let these bullies win...he smiled and said I wont Mom ....Im really proud of him for telling me....some kids keep that stuff in and end up in real trouble.....this to him is the worst propblem hes ever had in his life......I knew the place to turn to for help here.....see the variety of answers I got thats what I was looking for...You all are wonderful...Im officallly forever indebted and addicted to this site no matter how busy I get Im on here a 1/2 hr per day,,,
You will do the right thing for your son Cherie........Keep us posted on how it is going. Remember to give him that extra hug and tell him he is the neatest kid ever!!!!
daisy,,,,thanks your perspective as a teacher means alot.....yes we are planing on being discrete My husband is going midday unannnounced, if the principal cant see him there are two vice principals one of them will be available,,,,,My husband has never ever gone to the school for anything other than a science fair , play etc,,,,shows how upset even he is,,,I hug and kiss David goodnight every night the other tow just get an I love you,,,they think they are too big...anyways tonight I told David " I promise You , I might not be able to make this go all away, but I promise you I will make it a lot better,,,just keep telling me what happens and I will help you." je just said ok MOm and hugged me tight ,,,little kids big problems...to them
His illness is very rare...childrens hospitals seen 4 cases of it in Detroit,,,his leg looks odd ifyou look closely hes got 4 biopsy scars 3 look like cigarette burns they where punch biopsys the 4th is a 3 inch scar they put him out and removed a whole nodule....this disease is autoimmiune and usually goes away when puberty is complete....last year he missed gym for a whole year which made him different...was allowed extra passing time in halls so it drew attention to him...this year he is playing gym with the right to sit out if leg hurts so far so good...
I tell my boys bullies are seeking attention because they dont feel good about their selfes inside.
Ive often thought about banding some parents together or going to a pta meeting and seeing about getting a peer moderatiion group of 10 or 12 going for problems such as this and more...left to guided enviorment and a vote I think kids can usually find decisions to their own problems....this would have to be moderated by a counselor or vice principal...and probably kids who have never been suspended or in trouble and a variety of races and genders.
David lives in the moment and he is the baby of the family ....we arestudying burth order in psychology now,,,,my first born and second born would have dealt with this on their own in fact it woulda never happened to middle son they are the peacekeepers the jokers everyone likes them...first born woulda told teacher or hit them...( the bully)
Bullying is an epidemic in our country very young children have commited suicide, brought guns to school serious stuff....it needs to be addressed perhaps even on a federal level.....no one should have to fear school...and its hard on the teachers most do care...they dont get paid extra for breaking up those hallway fights and putting theirselfes at risk,,,,
His illness is very rare...childrens hospitals seen 4 cases of it in Detroit,,,his leg looks odd ifyou look closely hes got 4 biopsy scars 3 look like cigarette burns they where punch biopsys the 4th is a 3 inch scar they put him out and removed a whole nodule....this disease is autoimmiune and usually goes away when puberty is complete....last year he missed gym for a whole year which made him different...was allowed extra passing time in halls so it drew attention to him...this year he is playing gym with the right to sit out if leg hurts so far so good...
I tell my boys bullies are seeking attention because they dont feel good about their selfes inside.
Ive often thought about banding some parents together or going to a pta meeting and seeing about getting a peer moderatiion group of 10 or 12 going for problems such as this and more...left to guided enviorment and a vote I think kids can usually find decisions to their own problems....this would have to be moderated by a counselor or vice principal...and probably kids who have never been suspended or in trouble and a variety of races and genders.
David lives in the moment and he is the baby of the family ....we arestudying burth order in psychology now,,,,my first born and second born would have dealt with this on their own in fact it woulda never happened to middle son they are the peacekeepers the jokers everyone likes them...first born woulda told teacher or hit them...( the bully)
Bullying is an epidemic in our country very young children have commited suicide, brought guns to school serious stuff....it needs to be addressed perhaps even on a federal level.....no one should have to fear school...and its hard on the teachers most do care...they dont get paid extra for breaking up those hallway fights and putting theirselfes at risk,,,,
Yes my mother was a junior high school teacher as well throughout her life until she retired a decade ago. The same kids who were bullies started up hostilities and pranks some of which bordered on destructive towards the teachers as well. They had no respect for anyone. There were two solutions. First of all to have the issue addressed on a schoolwide level. Secondly, in the way she dealt with the kids that were troublemakers towards the teachers or bullying the other kids was not to emotionally react. Google "negative attention seeking behavior". That's what they want. If they are physically violent that's one thing. But if not they are best ignored. If they are screamed at and get a trip to the principal's office then that made their day. And I've seen kids who were physically disciplined (outside of school) who still never learned self control. Learning self control is the main issue. To take a common phrase in dealing with bullies "speak softly and carry a big stick". If the kids decide to have a "show down" with the bullies they've just wasted needless time with ego gratification with a bunch of pathological losers. They will either grow out of it, need help with issues of their own or will be nobodies in life. Don't give them the importance they don't deserve.
MJ, your story brought back a memory for me. In spades. You're so right.
I was a small girl, and an air force brat, and my dad retired and moved to Austin from the northeast. MAN the girls here in Texas were big! I was a little 6th grader girl, and somehow got crosswise with a big classmate. So one day one of these big girls challenged me to a fight after school (I really can't remember why, I didn't pick fights, but anyway). So I was terrified. I ran home as FAST AS I COULD, from the back door. I just lit out and beat the 3 minute mile on the way home, breathless in terror.
Next day in class I stood up to her and said HEY, I WAITED FOR YOU OUTSIDE FOR THE FIGHT AND YOU DIDN'T SHOW!! (I tried to act really hostile and bold).
Unbelievably, she stammered and said can we just call a truce?
I couldn't believe it, and almost can't now. She didn't show up either, obviously. She was afraid of fighting me. Afraid of fighting ME.
I guess sometimes all you have to do is stomp at chihuahuas, and they run off yelping.
I was a small girl, and an air force brat, and my dad retired and moved to Austin from the northeast. MAN the girls here in Texas were big! I was a little 6th grader girl, and somehow got crosswise with a big classmate. So one day one of these big girls challenged me to a fight after school (I really can't remember why, I didn't pick fights, but anyway). So I was terrified. I ran home as FAST AS I COULD, from the back door. I just lit out and beat the 3 minute mile on the way home, breathless in terror.
Next day in class I stood up to her and said HEY, I WAITED FOR YOU OUTSIDE FOR THE FIGHT AND YOU DIDN'T SHOW!! (I tried to act really hostile and bold).
Unbelievably, she stammered and said can we just call a truce?
I couldn't believe it, and almost can't now. She didn't show up either, obviously. She was afraid of fighting me. Afraid of fighting ME.
I guess sometimes all you have to do is stomp at chihuahuas, and they run off yelping.
Im so sorry cherie to hear he is having so much trouble it breaks my heart, everything i could suggest i know you have done already.
Love to you Brooke xoxoxox
Love to you Brooke xoxoxox
Stories of people bullying others make me sad. It seems so animal like... Can't people do better than that?
I agree with jollyman069's statement about bullies being cowards... To put down another human, means they must be very insecure themselves...
Self confidence is the best way to combat bullies. If one can be confident in themself for who they are, then the bullies can't persist. After all they are looking for a reaction. That's what they crave. I agree with contacting the school and letting the admins know.
I remember in Middle school, one of the main things that came up was one of my friends. I happened to have a friend who was a boy, so naturally they wanted to pull out all the boyfriend/girlfriend teases... I responded, "Yeah he's my friend. Not a boyfriend, but a friend." It seemed after a while they quit pestering me about it.
But on his side, it was a lot uglier... They slapped his books out in front of one of the assistant teachers. Thankfully he saw it and he was a tough guy. He opened the first half of the class about bullying and how cruel it is.
What did my friend do differently that I didn't do?
He let the teasing gett to him. When they teased him aboutme being a supposed girlfriend, he got angry and it showed. They wanted that anger. I didn't give it to them.
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My sister also got picked on a lot for being overweight. That was very rough on her. One time I happened to ride my bike and one of the kids was teasing me saying c-rap about my sister.
I replied back, "You think you're so cool?"
Her answer (with a smug nod) "Uh hmm"
Me: "Not really. You'll see." Then I left.
She never bothered me again. I think I may have seen her one other time after that. She said, "Hi." and that was it. Really the bully fears is confidence. Show confidence to a bully and they feel weak.
I agree with jollyman069's statement about bullies being cowards... To put down another human, means they must be very insecure themselves...
Self confidence is the best way to combat bullies. If one can be confident in themself for who they are, then the bullies can't persist. After all they are looking for a reaction. That's what they crave. I agree with contacting the school and letting the admins know.
I remember in Middle school, one of the main things that came up was one of my friends. I happened to have a friend who was a boy, so naturally they wanted to pull out all the boyfriend/girlfriend teases... I responded, "Yeah he's my friend. Not a boyfriend, but a friend." It seemed after a while they quit pestering me about it.
But on his side, it was a lot uglier... They slapped his books out in front of one of the assistant teachers. Thankfully he saw it and he was a tough guy. He opened the first half of the class about bullying and how cruel it is.
What did my friend do differently that I didn't do?
He let the teasing gett to him. When they teased him aboutme being a supposed girlfriend, he got angry and it showed. They wanted that anger. I didn't give it to them.
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My sister also got picked on a lot for being overweight. That was very rough on her. One time I happened to ride my bike and one of the kids was teasing me saying c-rap about my sister.
I replied back, "You think you're so cool?"
Her answer (with a smug nod) "Uh hmm"
Me: "Not really. You'll see." Then I left.
She never bothered me again. I think I may have seen her one other time after that. She said, "Hi." and that was it. Really the bully fears is confidence. Show confidence to a bully and they feel weak.
Plateletgal that was a good point. Actually if your child has a disability then there is room for parent action but not directly to the bullies I would agree. The general course of action is the parent speaks to the school guidance counselor or principal and they handle it. But disability awareness is part of many health education curriculums and for others that can be changed. And it doesn't have to be in a manner that is antagonistic about what is the right language to use, etc. but in a positive manner as in accepting other children of all backgrounds but having a disability is not a controversial issue. I know because my cousin has Rett's Syndrome, a severe developmental disability and can't speak. She is in some of the same classes as other children. My uncle has worked with the teachers so that the other students are educated and they all get along well with her, even into junior high school years and she is far below them in intellect and ability to communicate.
I can't say I had any "revenge" on the students who picked on me. I do know that some of the kids who were picked on because of their disabilities as "nerds" had their photos published in the local newspaper when they got married and had a successful career years later to prove a point. I just moved on. I don't focus on the past. What did happen was that a friend of mine who was a year behind me in high school said the letter I wrote to the school paper was read to the school health class as an example of "feeling good about yourself" but more importantly after I wrote the school about incorporating mental health awareness into the curriculum they did. Children who have disabilities and especially those in special education have always gotten picked on but that is being changed. Why not be a part of that? Not all of these children could defend themselves if they wanted to.
And there's nothing wrong with learning self defense such as karate. It does help with the way a child carries themselves in a more assertive manner and keeps them from being bullied in the first place. Bullies thrive on fear. Some are actually not that strong. The point is not to make their day. That lesson carries over into all of life as in assertiveness training. I wish I had learned that skill years ago.
I can't say I had any "revenge" on the students who picked on me. I do know that some of the kids who were picked on because of their disabilities as "nerds" had their photos published in the local newspaper when they got married and had a successful career years later to prove a point. I just moved on. I don't focus on the past. What did happen was that a friend of mine who was a year behind me in high school said the letter I wrote to the school paper was read to the school health class as an example of "feeling good about yourself" but more importantly after I wrote the school about incorporating mental health awareness into the curriculum they did. Children who have disabilities and especially those in special education have always gotten picked on but that is being changed. Why not be a part of that? Not all of these children could defend themselves if they wanted to.
And there's nothing wrong with learning self defense such as karate. It does help with the way a child carries themselves in a more assertive manner and keeps them from being bullied in the first place. Bullies thrive on fear. Some are actually not that strong. The point is not to make their day. That lesson carries over into all of life as in assertiveness training. I wish I had learned that skill years ago.
Hi.....I've been a middle school teacher for a lot of years. I agree with swampy.....mostly.
When you talk to the school...be discreet. If the kids (including yours) don't know you were there it's easier for the principal (or teacher, coach, etc) to address the issue without making your son more of a target.
A student I had long ago comes to mind.....""Joe" had been bullied all through elementary school by some older boys. When he got to 7th grade it started again. He reacted, ignored, told adults.....all the right things. The school tried to stop the bullies but they are sneaky at what they do. On day on the bus "Joe" took action.....he spit on the bully. "Joe" got kicked off the bus for 2 wks....and the bully finally left him alone.
The school is never going to tell you (or your son) to retaliate....even if they think the bully deserves to get his a** kicked. But sometimes a guy just has to fight back....even if he has to walk to school for 2 weeks.
When you talk to the school...be discreet. If the kids (including yours) don't know you were there it's easier for the principal (or teacher, coach, etc) to address the issue without making your son more of a target.
A student I had long ago comes to mind.....""Joe" had been bullied all through elementary school by some older boys. When he got to 7th grade it started again. He reacted, ignored, told adults.....all the right things. The school tried to stop the bullies but they are sneaky at what they do. On day on the bus "Joe" took action.....he spit on the bully. "Joe" got kicked off the bus for 2 wks....and the bully finally left him alone.
The school is never going to tell you (or your son) to retaliate....even if they think the bully deserves to get his a** kicked. But sometimes a guy just has to fight back....even if he has to walk to school for 2 weeks.
I am so sad to hear that your son is going through this. You not only have a right to go to the school...but a duty. It is not snitching...rather...holding these bullies accountable for their actions. They need to learn that we are all going to be held accountable.
Bullies thrive on reactions...when they don't get one...it isn't fun for them anymore.
April has great advice. Youth groups are awesome for peer interaction...and offer amazing, healthy support. Both of my kids were involved as young teens and they loved it. I do hope something works for your young man. It is sad when our kids are hurting. He is so lucky that he is able to talk to you about his problems and know that you are there to do whatever you can to help. So many kids don't have that. Good luck and God bless. Lots of extra hugs are good.
Bullies thrive on reactions...when they don't get one...it isn't fun for them anymore.
April has great advice. Youth groups are awesome for peer interaction...and offer amazing, healthy support. Both of my kids were involved as young teens and they loved it. I do hope something works for your young man. It is sad when our kids are hurting. He is so lucky that he is able to talk to you about his problems and know that you are there to do whatever you can to help. So many kids don't have that. Good luck and God bless. Lots of extra hugs are good.
You know I recall a story about a child who had Tourette's Syndrome. He was also being bullied at his school and that ended because his teacher educated the students on his condition. After the teacher did that... all of his classmates became very compassionate and supportive. That is one thing you might want to ask the principal of your child's school. I would just hate to see you move your child to another school and run into similiar problems.
I agree with changing schools...
as for his weight he has septal panniculitus...spent most of past summer in childrens hospital unfortunatly didnt get a diagnosis until 4th biopsy he was on 11 meds per day of which was steroids....his bulk of over weight os from that he still has puffy hand and feet it will take a bit more time to lose it he cannot execise too much because he has several large nodules on the tibia subdermal they are quite painful.....for a long time we though he had bone cancer..or sarcodosis ...hes just as of 4 months ago mostly pain free.....the weight will come off...hes due to go back for check up soon.....steroids was his only choice of treatment the side effects are bad...he eats a normal mostly healthy diet.....
LOL to the girlfriend....thanks all will let ya know tommrow,,,,your a great bunch of friends...nation wide this issue of bully stuff needs to be addressed
as for his weight he has septal panniculitus...spent most of past summer in childrens hospital unfortunatly didnt get a diagnosis until 4th biopsy he was on 11 meds per day of which was steroids....his bulk of over weight os from that he still has puffy hand and feet it will take a bit more time to lose it he cannot execise too much because he has several large nodules on the tibia subdermal they are quite painful.....for a long time we though he had bone cancer..or sarcodosis ...hes just as of 4 months ago mostly pain free.....the weight will come off...hes due to go back for check up soon.....steroids was his only choice of treatment the side effects are bad...he eats a normal mostly healthy diet.....
LOL to the girlfriend....thanks all will let ya know tommrow,,,,your a great bunch of friends...nation wide this issue of bully stuff needs to be addressed
Change mad to tough, maybe mad was too strong a word,sorry my Englishness got in the way... .
Swampy was bullied, but as he looks back on it, he met the challenge of the bullies. While they are lounging in their boxers looking at their layoff notices and yelling at their 4th wife, Swampy got more education, got good friends, and has always made good money.
Direct action by parents -- except parents to school (which maybe should be done) -- is seldom a good course, because it leads to too many avenues for revenge.
Helping your child with various tools to handle the bullies. Make it clear to him that these bullies only betray their own weakness and failure, not his.
Sometimes ignoring them is the right thing, sometimes, responding. Heck, Swampy even once punched one of them in the face. (However, such methods are frowned upon today).
Finally -- Swampy should raise two points that are a wee bit uncomfortable, and begs your indulgence.
The first is that changing schools may not work. Kids are great at spotting weaknesses, even if they don't know your son it will only take a day or two for them to find them.
The second is that -- if your son is overweight, would it not be appropriate to address that, with diet and exercise? Here is how Swampy thinks of it. If your son were to start losing weight, all the bullies will continue to call him fatty, except one. That one kid will somehow tell your son how much better he looks now. In one fleeting moment, a bully will see reality and your son will overcome.
Even better, he might steal one of their girlfriends. Sweetest revenge of all.
Direct action by parents -- except parents to school (which maybe should be done) -- is seldom a good course, because it leads to too many avenues for revenge.
Helping your child with various tools to handle the bullies. Make it clear to him that these bullies only betray their own weakness and failure, not his.
Sometimes ignoring them is the right thing, sometimes, responding. Heck, Swampy even once punched one of them in the face. (However, such methods are frowned upon today).
Finally -- Swampy should raise two points that are a wee bit uncomfortable, and begs your indulgence.
The first is that changing schools may not work. Kids are great at spotting weaknesses, even if they don't know your son it will only take a day or two for them to find them.
The second is that -- if your son is overweight, would it not be appropriate to address that, with diet and exercise? Here is how Swampy thinks of it. If your son were to start losing weight, all the bullies will continue to call him fatty, except one. That one kid will somehow tell your son how much better he looks now. In one fleeting moment, a bully will see reality and your son will overcome.
Even better, he might steal one of their girlfriends. Sweetest revenge of all.
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