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FORGIVENESS...where do you stand??
Forgiveness...where do you stand on forgiveness, what do you forgive, is there anything that you cannot forgive??? Do we have to forgive everyone in order to get forgiveness ourselves?? I have struggled with this issue for a very long time, and I have even searched on the internet for "how to" forgive, sort of a step by step instruction guide...everyone talks about forgiveness, but, no one really tells you how to do it...any thoughts???
Better late to this thread than never? I *had* been keeping up with all the VERY insightful comments on here, but lost track of them and don't have time now to read them all.
Was it you, Joycekatherine, who said you have taken conscious, deliberate steps to forgive those who have hurt you? I think it was you.....
I remember MANY years ago realizing that I was hurt/mad at someone who had hurt my parents TERRIBLY. I held onto this hurt for I don't know how many years, but this person didn't know it. It became deep bitterness. I was convicted to forgive this person. I had taken up offense....for my parents.
I went to his house and knocked on the door and he and his wife invited me in. They had known me as a little child and now I was a married woman. I explained why I was there. It was very awkward, because I was SO conscious/convicted that I was NOT to sound like I was actually there to dredge up what he had in fact done to my father especially. As it turned out, I worried for nothing.
I was Divinely given the words to speak. I knew I would be if I was obedient to go there and apologize. It was a beautiful meeting. Recently, when this man died of Parkinson's, I truly mourned. It was THEN that I knew that I had truly forgiven him. I had been asking the Lord all this time if I had.
Was it you, Joycekatherine, who said you have taken conscious, deliberate steps to forgive those who have hurt you? I think it was you.....
I remember MANY years ago realizing that I was hurt/mad at someone who had hurt my parents TERRIBLY. I held onto this hurt for I don't know how many years, but this person didn't know it. It became deep bitterness. I was convicted to forgive this person. I had taken up offense....for my parents.
I went to his house and knocked on the door and he and his wife invited me in. They had known me as a little child and now I was a married woman. I explained why I was there. It was very awkward, because I was SO conscious/convicted that I was NOT to sound like I was actually there to dredge up what he had in fact done to my father especially. As it turned out, I worried for nothing.
I was Divinely given the words to speak. I knew I would be if I was obedient to go there and apologize. It was a beautiful meeting. Recently, when this man died of Parkinson's, I truly mourned. It was THEN that I knew that I had truly forgiven him. I had been asking the Lord all this time if I had.
For myself, I've discovered that anger and holding a grudge is so very counter productive; and takes too much of MY precious energy.
I've had instances where people, yes, family members, have hurt me unbelievably simply because of their desire to be a "hot shot" or "the boss", "the most important one" or however, you might find to put it. I think the worst was my oldest brother and he was being a total jerk; not only to me, but to other family members as well, and then turned around and tried to tell me HE did nothing wrong. What made it even more hurtful and disgusting was the fact that his inappropriate behavior took place when our step dad died and we were all hurting terribly anyway; then to have him add insult to injury. But he's always been a "know it all" and one to try to justify his actions, when there is no justification.
The idea is to put the hurtful behavior behind you and move on. *I* barely have enough energy as it is to make it through my days - I can't afford to "spend" it on people anger and hurt.
I'm not even sure if that qualifies as "forgiveness". I've prayed for God to give me the strength to let it go and for the most part I don't think about it much at all, except when something comes up that really brings it to the front of my mind.
I rarely forget what happened when people hurt me, but neither do I dwell on it. I can be around people who have hurt me, but I generally do not trust them again, nor do I let my guard down around them.
I think we each have our own definition of forgiveness and our own methods of achieving it.......
I've had instances where people, yes, family members, have hurt me unbelievably simply because of their desire to be a "hot shot" or "the boss", "the most important one" or however, you might find to put it. I think the worst was my oldest brother and he was being a total jerk; not only to me, but to other family members as well, and then turned around and tried to tell me HE did nothing wrong. What made it even more hurtful and disgusting was the fact that his inappropriate behavior took place when our step dad died and we were all hurting terribly anyway; then to have him add insult to injury. But he's always been a "know it all" and one to try to justify his actions, when there is no justification.
The idea is to put the hurtful behavior behind you and move on. *I* barely have enough energy as it is to make it through my days - I can't afford to "spend" it on people anger and hurt.
I'm not even sure if that qualifies as "forgiveness". I've prayed for God to give me the strength to let it go and for the most part I don't think about it much at all, except when something comes up that really brings it to the front of my mind.
I rarely forget what happened when people hurt me, but neither do I dwell on it. I can be around people who have hurt me, but I generally do not trust them again, nor do I let my guard down around them.
I think we each have our own definition of forgiveness and our own methods of achieving it.......
That was beautifully put. I have never thought of that before,(God rehashing). Thank you for posting that.
I agree with everyone else's posts here but it also works the other way. I can't forgive myself if I accept that life will never improve and nothing could be done about it. I do slip into that mindset at times and I think of my priorities. There's no point in seeking retaliatory action against those who have done wrong to you but seeking the betterment of others and justice as a whole is worthwhile and when I think of myself as a bystander to other people's suffering then I cannot accept that mindset I have descended into and have to seriously rethink priorities and then act on them.
It can be so very hard to forgive at times, I know it is for me, but our Lord says in the bible, that unless we forgive others, we will NOT be forgiven by HIM, he will also not answer our prayers. The Reverend Charles Stanley has given some great sermons on forgiveness and they make good sense. Forgiveness not only keeps the path open to God for our prayers, but, it is healthy too. When we forgive, we no longer are uptight and hating the other person, we are at peace with ourselves. Actually, forgiveness is more for us than the other person as it releases all bad feelings and leaves us free to love and be healed. If you harbor unforgiveness, there is a place in your heart that has unrest and this in turn can cause unrest in your entire being. The Lord commands us to forgive, like it says in the "Lords Prayer" Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us" So, what we are saying is "Lord forgive me as I forgive others" Well, if we don't forgive others, how can He forgive us?
I know it is really difficult to forgive some people, but, we must, and we must keep asking the Lord for His strength to do so. After all, if He can forgive us for all our sins, then who are we to not forgive others. Like I said however, this is an area that must be worked on, at least for me, but, I am getting better.
I know it is really difficult to forgive some people, but, we must, and we must keep asking the Lord for His strength to do so. After all, if He can forgive us for all our sins, then who are we to not forgive others. Like I said however, this is an area that must be worked on, at least for me, but, I am getting better.
Thanks, MJ. It is difficult to get to that point and a constant struggle, but is very important for each and everyone of us to reach. See, my mom did not forgive her father but I did forgive him and that is where I have peace. I knew that it did not matter what he thought it was about reaching the conclusion that I can not waste the time on his problems and issues but needed to reach a point of forgiveness for myself. I really think that forgiveness is a process and in order to reach this you must realize that what they did was not your fault, recognize that they are wrong, and repent our sin for not being faithful to what the Lord had did for us. He died for our sins and the one thing we are required to do is to forgive the person and ask for the Lords help. That cannot possibly be as hard as dying and showing that he forgave us all for what we all do to dishonor him. We must realize that each and every one of us sins in life and what if our family or friends never forgave us for those. We obviously would be very lonely.
It is extremely hard but definitely attainable. I do have problems with forgiveness when it comes to molestation, murder, rape, and racial violence. So, this is a struggle for me as well but I am realizing more and more that people can really surprise you and totally amaze you. God has a way of bringing the good out of people if they choose to.
It is extremely hard but definitely attainable. I do have problems with forgiveness when it comes to molestation, murder, rape, and racial violence. So, this is a struggle for me as well but I am realizing more and more that people can really surprise you and totally amaze you. God has a way of bringing the good out of people if they choose to.
I like your post. I agree. That's where I hope to get to eventually.
margypops, yes, star's puppy came home and is safe and sound! It's a definite praise report!
Forgiveness is a way for you to move on and to realize that what they may have done will not prevent you from having a wonderful and bountiful life. Forgiveness does not have to be asked by the person that wronged you. They may never think they did anything wrong but by you forgiving what they did (you do not have to let them know you forgave them); will give you some peace of mind. Now, It is extremely difficult to forget what was done. Forgetting is the hard part. I will give a true example of someone that does not forgive someone and what their life is like:
My mother is someone that has not forgiven many people for what they did to her. Her father was not a good man, but when he was on his deathbed she refused to forgive him for what he had done 35 years ago. She was revengeful and always wanted to see bad things happen to him. We'll he died and she still did not forgive him. She is a very hateful and manipulative person and since she never let go of her past she still harbors those hateful feelings. Not only to her father but to anyone that says or does anything to her that she does not agree with. This is a terrible way to live and I hope and pray that one day she will realize that she will never be happy unless she lets go of her anger through forgiveness.
Another example is:
My sister in law; she hates me right now since she had a misscarriage two years ago and has been trying to have a baby with no success. She will not even come around me or speak to me since I am pregnant. Now, I did not get pregnant to **** her off. I did not expect to be pregnant at all. But, she has never forgiven the Lord for her misscarriage and she hold this inside and continues to distance herself from anyone in the family that has babies. She did the same thing with my husbands cousin, when she had a baby. She continues to be disrespectful and rude about our gift. I am afraid to be around her for fear that she will be revengeful. She is so full of hate that no one knows what she would do. So, the best thing is to stay away from her. But, I totally forgive her for being hateful to me since I do not understand what she is going through.
But, forgiveness can be done but you do not have to associate with them. You need to pray for them and hope some day that they will change. People do change for the better and can surprise you. And, also some will not change at all or for the worse. But, at least you know that you forgave them for what they did to you and can now move on.
I have been reading a book called "A More Excellent Way" by Henry W. Wright and what he says makes a lot of sense:
"You don't have to carry someone else's sin inside of you. That's their sin. God will be their judge. Your job is to release them, get back before God, get your heart right with God, then keep on moving. Your freedom does not depend on their resolution---it depends on your resolution."
"When you forgive others, you are not letting them off the hook but giving them to God, still wiggling on the hook. You are now off the hook."
"When you forgive someone, you continue to hate their sin, but you are commanded to love them. To forgive, you don't have to condone their sin."
I hope that this all makes some kind of sense and helps for us all to understand what forgiveness really does. God bless you all! Very Very good question and discussion. Thanks JoyceKatherine.
My mother is someone that has not forgiven many people for what they did to her. Her father was not a good man, but when he was on his deathbed she refused to forgive him for what he had done 35 years ago. She was revengeful and always wanted to see bad things happen to him. We'll he died and she still did not forgive him. She is a very hateful and manipulative person and since she never let go of her past she still harbors those hateful feelings. Not only to her father but to anyone that says or does anything to her that she does not agree with. This is a terrible way to live and I hope and pray that one day she will realize that she will never be happy unless she lets go of her anger through forgiveness.
Another example is:
My sister in law; she hates me right now since she had a misscarriage two years ago and has been trying to have a baby with no success. She will not even come around me or speak to me since I am pregnant. Now, I did not get pregnant to **** her off. I did not expect to be pregnant at all. But, she has never forgiven the Lord for her misscarriage and she hold this inside and continues to distance herself from anyone in the family that has babies. She did the same thing with my husbands cousin, when she had a baby. She continues to be disrespectful and rude about our gift. I am afraid to be around her for fear that she will be revengeful. She is so full of hate that no one knows what she would do. So, the best thing is to stay away from her. But, I totally forgive her for being hateful to me since I do not understand what she is going through.
But, forgiveness can be done but you do not have to associate with them. You need to pray for them and hope some day that they will change. People do change for the better and can surprise you. And, also some will not change at all or for the worse. But, at least you know that you forgave them for what they did to you and can now move on.
I have been reading a book called "A More Excellent Way" by Henry W. Wright and what he says makes a lot of sense:
"You don't have to carry someone else's sin inside of you. That's their sin. God will be their judge. Your job is to release them, get back before God, get your heart right with God, then keep on moving. Your freedom does not depend on their resolution---it depends on your resolution."
"When you forgive others, you are not letting them off the hook but giving them to God, still wiggling on the hook. You are now off the hook."
"When you forgive someone, you continue to hate their sin, but you are commanded to love them. To forgive, you don't have to condone their sin."
I hope that this all makes some kind of sense and helps for us all to understand what forgiveness really does. God bless you all! Very Very good question and discussion. Thanks JoyceKatherine.
Did stars puppy turn up..anyone know maybe I will check her profile.
"thanks i will say i cant forgive them ..not yet !!,...but you never know some day i might
oh! did i just say that ,.;)....thanks again joycekatherine,.,..... "
That is so awesome and such a big step to take, to say that someday you might!!! Never say never, always keep your mind and heart open, and someday you may just surprise yourself!! Consider it, a work in progress...that's what I am trying to do too, and I have forgiven several people already and I can tell you from my own experience, it is like being set free...every tension in your body literally flows right out...people call it forgiveness, but, it is really, letting it go...for me it is easier to think of it that way, forgiveness sounds too much like I am condoning people's horrible behavior, but, to say "I'm letting it go." is easier for me to swallow and I don't think it really matters what we call it! Good for you!! I am sending positive vibes and good wishes your way...let me know how it progresses for you...;) j
oh! did i just say that ,.;)....thanks again joycekatherine,.,..... "
That is so awesome and such a big step to take, to say that someday you might!!! Never say never, always keep your mind and heart open, and someday you may just surprise yourself!! Consider it, a work in progress...that's what I am trying to do too, and I have forgiven several people already and I can tell you from my own experience, it is like being set free...every tension in your body literally flows right out...people call it forgiveness, but, it is really, letting it go...for me it is easier to think of it that way, forgiveness sounds too much like I am condoning people's horrible behavior, but, to say "I'm letting it go." is easier for me to swallow and I don't think it really matters what we call it! Good for you!! I am sending positive vibes and good wishes your way...let me know how it progresses for you...;) j
Wow, what a great post. I especially liked what Bon-Bon said that forgiving someone is not using their wrongs against them. I still struggle with that. Especially during arguments, I throw them out like darts hitting a dart board. I'm slowly learning to conquer that problem. I think I'm learning to forgive, it's been a very long and tough road trying to get to this point. I feel more relaxed though and that constant lump in my throat no longer exists. It's very peaceful. We cannot control other people but we can control ourselves and that means our actions and our thoughts.
Thanks Cherie762, and others. Maybe it's a process. I'm not quite there yet, but overall feel better and less bothered than I did a while ago. Part of it is I am a very sensitive person. I may not even think about things all the time, but a trigger thought occurs then I may feel upset all of a sudden. It can be little things that weren't intentional or it can be any time I have to deal with rudeness, intentional or not. Dealing with rudeness is one of my struggles. I guess we each cope with it differently. I tend to take it inward.
Forgiving rude people is something that I need help with. Just knowing that we all make mistakes, and we all appear rude to someone or another at some time, doesn't seem to change the emotion I may feel in a period of upset. On a more positive note I like to believe whatever wisdom" or "wise" thoughts that come out of each event helps prepare us for future upsets.
I guess out of it I'm learning I can speak more openly when I am offended. That doesn't mean insulting whoever, but just saying that I find whatever stated as hurtful and offensive at the time it's spoken. If I can remember to say that right off the bat, rather than incubating or playing "passivly nice" (by denying the upset emotions to prevent conflict), maybe I can head off future unintended upsets and overall making things easier for myself to move on. Self forgiveness is also hard for me. I tend to beat myself over the head for not speaking up at times I should, or vise vera, speaking up at times I should have kept my mouth shut....
Forgiving rude people is something that I need help with. Just knowing that we all make mistakes, and we all appear rude to someone or another at some time, doesn't seem to change the emotion I may feel in a period of upset. On a more positive note I like to believe whatever wisdom" or "wise" thoughts that come out of each event helps prepare us for future upsets.
I guess out of it I'm learning I can speak more openly when I am offended. That doesn't mean insulting whoever, but just saying that I find whatever stated as hurtful and offensive at the time it's spoken. If I can remember to say that right off the bat, rather than incubating or playing "passivly nice" (by denying the upset emotions to prevent conflict), maybe I can head off future unintended upsets and overall making things easier for myself to move on. Self forgiveness is also hard for me. I tend to beat myself over the head for not speaking up at times I should, or vise vera, speaking up at times I should have kept my mouth shut....
thanks i will say i cant forgive them ..not yet !!,...but you never know some day i might
oh! did i just say that ,.;)....thanks again joycekatherine,.,.....
oh! did i just say that ,.;)....thanks again joycekatherine,.,.....
Wolfie, I am glad you like the thread. I like to bring up subjects that I have a problem with in hopes of being inspired by one of you. In the Mohawk ceremony for letting go, I would think that it covers All areas of letting go of anything that is throwing your harmony off, upsetting the balance between you, God and nature and perhaps, dirtying up your essence or soul...just my thoughts...
MJ, ahhhhhh, another kindred spirit...you took the words right out of my mouth!!
April, I appreciate your thoughts on forgiveness and while there are some who never see the bad in themselves, most of us, who truly get down and dirty honest, even if it is just within ourselves, know when we have done or said something wrong or hurtful to someone else...
Teko, couldn't have said it better myself...loved your interpretation!
Bon Bon, I am very happy for you, that you have conquered forgiveness so well...Blessing right back atcha & thank you
Star641, of course, you have our prayers, many of us are parents and also are animal lovers....and again, I understand your being unable to fully forgive, I am in the same boat, but, because God is forgiving, I think he will forgive us for our human failings and maybe someday we will both be able to let it all go and know the peace of forgiving. I do believe that forgiveness is truly for our sakes,but, for some, it just gets all jumbled up with all the hurt and pain and we can't see our way out of it! If you can, when you speak about your hurt feelings, try to say, "I can't forgive them....Yet."
Just allowing the possibility, of complete forgiveness, to roll around in your thoughts and become something familiar...I find it helps me to do that...in the meantime, I understand...
MJ, ahhhhhh, another kindred spirit...you took the words right out of my mouth!!
April, I appreciate your thoughts on forgiveness and while there are some who never see the bad in themselves, most of us, who truly get down and dirty honest, even if it is just within ourselves, know when we have done or said something wrong or hurtful to someone else...
Teko, couldn't have said it better myself...loved your interpretation!
Bon Bon, I am very happy for you, that you have conquered forgiveness so well...Blessing right back atcha & thank you
Star641, of course, you have our prayers, many of us are parents and also are animal lovers....and again, I understand your being unable to fully forgive, I am in the same boat, but, because God is forgiving, I think he will forgive us for our human failings and maybe someday we will both be able to let it all go and know the peace of forgiving. I do believe that forgiveness is truly for our sakes,but, for some, it just gets all jumbled up with all the hurt and pain and we can't see our way out of it! If you can, when you speak about your hurt feelings, try to say, "I can't forgive them....Yet."
Just allowing the possibility, of complete forgiveness, to roll around in your thoughts and become something familiar...I find it helps me to do that...in the meantime, I understand...
thank you joyce for understanding me its nice to knoe someone out there understands me ,....as Ive said these two people not hurt me so much but they did it after my daughter died ,...my son died before my daughter so i was hurting so much as it was
but they thought they would hurt me even more ,...im sorry but no i can never forgive them ,......im am sorry for all the pain and hurt you had through your life and i do hope
you find some peace ,.......
now my sons little jack Russell is missing more pain and hurt in my family ,
my son is so upset now ,we have looked everywhere for him ,...
i think he was robbed from my back yard ,...it is 12 pm now and my husband and my son is still looking for him ,...
i got this little dog for my son after my daughter died and he has been great compey for him ,.my son loves him to bits ,......i will ask god to help us find him for my son and i would like to ask everyone here will they do the same for my son ,......
thank you ,........
but they thought they would hurt me even more ,...im sorry but no i can never forgive them ,......im am sorry for all the pain and hurt you had through your life and i do hope
you find some peace ,.......
now my sons little jack Russell is missing more pain and hurt in my family ,
my son is so upset now ,we have looked everywhere for him ,...
i think he was robbed from my back yard ,...it is 12 pm now and my husband and my son is still looking for him ,...
i got this little dog for my son after my daughter died and he has been great compey for him ,.my son loves him to bits ,......i will ask god to help us find him for my son and i would like to ask everyone here will they do the same for my son ,......
thank you ,........
The very moment I've made my decision to forgive, that means I will not bring up the transgression that was made against me ever again to that person; nor, to any one else. It's voided, removed from my vocabulary, as far as the east is from the west, for all of eternity.
Having the "memory" of the transgression, the hurt, pain, etc. is the "experience" of my being on the receiving end of wrong-doing (cause and effect).
When I choose to "Forgive" another's transgression, I'm making a conscience choice not to hold it against them. I am choosing, 'not to collect from them on that dept', so to speak on my behalf. In other words, I have choosen to "sacrifice" all the hurt and pain. Nonetheless, the memories, hurt and pain may linger, but, I will no longer use it against them.
This is what I keep in mind. It helps me considerably with the issue of forgiveness:
When the day comes when I stand before GOD, how do I want HIM to forgive me? Do I want Him to hash it over for awhile in his mind about all the pain I caused HIM with my horrible transgressions and go around talking to everyone HE knows about what to do about it? Do I want HIM to think it over for a few days, months, years, eternity? Do I want HIM to tell me HE just can't "deal" with that, it hurts too bad!!? Do I want HIM to tell me I have to pay for what I did and after it is paid then I can get set free; but, only if it's to HIS satisfaction. Well, all I can say, is I could never repay to HIS satisfaction for all of my own transgressions against HIM. But, he loved me so much that HE sacraficed HIS perfect SON - Chirst Jesus, for me, all HIS hurt and pain, never bringing up (remembering) my transgressions against me again. Leaving my transgressions as far as the east is from the west! Is God's memory poor that HE doesn't "remember" things for long, of course not! It means, HE will not bring it up anymore! HIS son paid my dept in full, over and beyond, because I never had enough to pay it in full myself. For that, I am forever and eternaly gratetful. And it also helps "me" to remember to forgive others myself and very quickly!
Blessings and Pleasant thoughts to you.
Having the "memory" of the transgression, the hurt, pain, etc. is the "experience" of my being on the receiving end of wrong-doing (cause and effect).
When I choose to "Forgive" another's transgression, I'm making a conscience choice not to hold it against them. I am choosing, 'not to collect from them on that dept', so to speak on my behalf. In other words, I have choosen to "sacrifice" all the hurt and pain. Nonetheless, the memories, hurt and pain may linger, but, I will no longer use it against them.
This is what I keep in mind. It helps me considerably with the issue of forgiveness:
When the day comes when I stand before GOD, how do I want HIM to forgive me? Do I want Him to hash it over for awhile in his mind about all the pain I caused HIM with my horrible transgressions and go around talking to everyone HE knows about what to do about it? Do I want HIM to think it over for a few days, months, years, eternity? Do I want HIM to tell me HE just can't "deal" with that, it hurts too bad!!? Do I want HIM to tell me I have to pay for what I did and after it is paid then I can get set free; but, only if it's to HIS satisfaction. Well, all I can say, is I could never repay to HIS satisfaction for all of my own transgressions against HIM. But, he loved me so much that HE sacraficed HIS perfect SON - Chirst Jesus, for me, all HIS hurt and pain, never bringing up (remembering) my transgressions against me again. Leaving my transgressions as far as the east is from the west! Is God's memory poor that HE doesn't "remember" things for long, of course not! It means, HE will not bring it up anymore! HIS son paid my dept in full, over and beyond, because I never had enough to pay it in full myself. For that, I am forever and eternaly gratetful. And it also helps "me" to remember to forgive others myself and very quickly!
Blessings and Pleasant thoughts to you.
I also wonder how Native people "forgive" the collective wrongs that were done to us. Blaming does no good. Forgiveness - can there be a collective forgiveness or do each of us as individual Native people have to "let go" of the anger. There is a letting go ceremony among the Mohawks but I don't know if it pertains to what happened to us historically.
You bring up a good point, lonewolf. I think often times we are unaware of our own sins until someone points it out. In other words, often times we don't even realize if we are being judgmental towards someone and most of us would be horrified to hear someone point that out in us but sometimes we need others to see and gently show us what we may not see in ourselves. This only works usually with someone we are close to, whom we trust and who can gently do this in our best interest without any malicious meaning behind it.
I do understand. I've had people judge me based on untruths and it hurts and is unfair and our first reaction it to defend ourselves but I've had to really struggle with that to let it go and give it to God. It sure ain't easy, though!
I do understand. I've had people judge me based on untruths and it hurts and is unfair and our first reaction it to defend ourselves but I've had to really struggle with that to let it go and give it to God. It sure ain't easy, though!
All the answers seem quite thoughtful and well thought out. I do have a question that I might have missed in reading this thread, although April's comment about the German guard was close. What does a group upon whom genocide has been attempted - sometimes successfully; sometimes not. How does forgiveness fit in there.
I also find it interesting to read comments about forgiveness from those who pass judgement on others based on false information. How can a person who judges based on untruths forgive or be forgiven?
You always ask such interesting questions = )
I also find it interesting to read comments about forgiveness from those who pass judgement on others based on false information. How can a person who judges based on untruths forgive or be forgiven?
You always ask such interesting questions = )
Your post to MJ was beautifully written and I have learned that forgiveness is really for me and not for those who have done me wrong. I have forgiven most of the people in my life who have hurt me, but, I have found that some people are easy to forgive and then there are those that it seems impossible to forgive! The hurt that they caused is so painful and so deep, it's like they have knocked your whole world off it's axis, and as much as you know, in your head, that you should forgive, your heart is broken and all these raw emotions tell your head to shut the heck up! I had a friend of 41 years betray me and it's taken me almost 3 yrs to finally let it go, I still can't say I forgive her out loud, I say, I let it go. My step-father sexually abused me when I was young, and forgiving that one is really tuff...for the most part I have let it go, but, letting it go may be the best I can ever do...
Star641, I can really empathize with you, I feel your pain...each forgiveness comes at it's own pace, better to say "I'm not quite there" than to fake it...I continue to ask God to help me...
Star641, I can really empathize with you, I feel your pain...each forgiveness comes at it's own pace, better to say "I'm not quite there" than to fake it...I continue to ask God to help me...
Forgiveness helps the one doing the forgiving. It rids ones inner self of the demons that rule your life. It actually has very little to do with the one being forgiven. Imagine life without hurt, anger, hatred ruling your life. The person who cannot or will not forgive gives those people way to much power over them, whether they realize it or not.
No one can without God's help. We don't have the strength to do it on our own. It's not for their benefit, though. It's so you can have peace and let it go. It's not forgetting. It's letting God be the judge and you just sitting back and letting it go. It's not letting it affect your life anymore, because when you do that you've given that person power over you. When you can truly let it go, they no longer have that power over you.
i cant forgive these two people who hurt me so much ,.....i know it would help me if i did but i cant !!and i never will !!!,......they dont deserve it in my eyes !,! they sit in the same house i visit at times so i make out that they are not even there !! that they are invisible to me ,!....will god turn his back on me for that ???......i am a forgiving person but i just cant forgive these two people ,.
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