THEY ARE ALL SOOO FUNNY THANKYOU FOR MAKING ME LAUGH
A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide
to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his
shirt and then washes his hands.
He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands again. The girl has
been watching him and says, 'You must be a dentist.' The guy,
surprised, says 'Yes ... how did you figure that out?'
'Easy,' she replied, 'you keep washing your hands.'
One thing led to another and they make love. After they are done, the
girl says, 'You must be a good dentist.'
The guy, now with a boosted ego says, 'Sure, I'm a good dentist, how
did you figure that out?'
'Didn't feel a thing.'
All the jokes are cute, keep up the good work!!
10 Signs Your An Internet Geek
10. When filling out your driver's license application you give your IP address.
9. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is "Hi, what's your URL?"
8. Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.
7. You're amazed to find out spam is a food.
6. You "ping" people to see if they're awake, "finger" them to find out how they are, and "AYT" them to make sure they're listening to you.
5. You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt contest.
4. You introduce your wife as "my ***@****" and refer to your children as "client applications".
3. At social functions you introduce your husband as "my domain server".
2. After winning the office super bowl pool you blurt out, "I feel so colon-right parentheses!"
And the number one sign you are an Internet Geek:
1. Two Words: "Pizza's Here!"
A man was driving down a local street one day and approached a stop sign. He barely slowed down and ran right through the stop sign after glancing for traffic. What the driver didn't know was that a policeman was watching the intersection. The policeman pulled out after him and stopped the car two blocks away.
Policeman: "License, registration and proof of insurance please."
Driver: "Before I give it to you, tell me what the heck you stopped me for, man."
Policeman: "Watch your tone sir; you ran that stop sign back there!"
Driver: "Man, I slowed down, what the heck is the difference?"
The police officer pulled out his night-stick and began whacking the man over
the head and shoulders. Bang! Bang! Whomp! Bang!
Policeman: "Now, do you want me to just slow down, or stop!!!?
Great Truths About Life That Little Children Have Learned
* No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
* When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
* If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
* Never ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato.
* You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
* Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
* Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
* Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
* Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
* School lunches stick to the wall.
* You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
* Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. No matter how cute the underwear is.