I've dealt with depression since a child, each ****** up thing that happens makes it worse. My oldest brother is a homeless meth addict, I haven't seen him or heard from him in 6 years, we lost contact idk how he is or if he's even still alive. I was always close to him growing up and this situation is ******* me up, I think about him everyday and I cry about it but I still keep doing things I have to do daily. With each year that passes I feel the emptiness in my heart get emptier, I miss him so much, my life is horrible. I'm currently pregnant and my baby is the only thing that I'm happy about. How can I cope with this?